“You need to feel to heal” - Psychotherapist explains why it’s so important NOT to mask emotions you are feeling
“You need to feel to heal” - Psychotherapist explains why it’s so important NOT to mask emotions you are feeling
Each therapy session, I secretly hope my therapist will share some new insight that will totally change my mindset and cure my anxiety, because after struggling with it for years, I'm exhausted. In reality, I know therapy is a process, and there's no magical cure for anxiety - but there is one thing my therapist said that almost seemed to vanquish it entirely: "Feelings aren't facts."
"Playing Pollyanna suppresses your real emotions, which can backfire."
It's safe to say that this holiday season feels... a little weird. After a tumultuous year, celebrating the tail-end of 2020 amidst a global pandemic can feel off — and even downright wrong — when millions have lost their jobs, hundreds of thousands have lost their lives, and we continue to fight racial injustice and inequality in our country.But it's important to remember that the holidays are a time of giving, a time of coming together, and a time of giving back. That's why we put together this list of gifts you can give to others that also support crucial organizations such as Black Lives Matter, Planned Parenthood, Black Women's Blueprint, and so many more. You'll feel better about giving them, and your friends will feel grateful that you're thinking of them (and others!).At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. The product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.Read Receipts Electable T-ShirtThese cheeky political T-shirts are sure to spark an interesting conversation at the Thanksgiving table. ("Sexuality isn't a preference, sweetie" is my personal favorite.) Better yet, a portion of the proceeds from each $50 shirt goes to Emily’s List, an organization that works to get more pro-choice Democratic women into office.Read Receipts Electable T-Shirt, $, available at Read ReceiptsParachute Home Face MasksWe'll be wearing face masks for a while, so why not give a set of five made from comfy, luxe sheet sets? Better yet, for every pack sold, Parachute will donate one to someone in need through GetUsPPE and Safe Place for Youth.Parachute Home Face Masks, $, available at ParachuteHey Dewy Portable Facial HumidifierThis portable USB humidifier is like having a mini-spa in your pocket. But you'll get real peace of mind knowing that 10% of sales go to The Water Project, a charity that provides access to clean, safe, and reliable water across sub-Saharan Africa. Hey Dewy Portable Facial Humidifier, $, available at Hey DewyLush Charity Pot Body LotionCult-favorite brand Lush's sustainably-sourced and yummy-smelling body lotion called Charity Pot is the perfect stocking stuffer for anyone on your list. Not only does it soothe chapped hands, but the brand also donates 100% of the price (minus taxes) to small grassroots organizations.Lush Charity Pot Body Lotion, $, available at LushJonathan Cohen George Floyd FlowersDesigner Jonathan Cohen hand-drew this beautiful digital bouquet to help fight racial injustice, with 15% of the proceeds going toward The Bail Project. You can personalize your own card and address it to someone special as a way of sending hope or showing unity.Jonathan Cohen George Floyd Flowers, $, available at Jonathan CohenEtsy Black Lives Matter Lapel PinsSupport the Black Lives Matter movement by giving the gift of three custom-made pins. When you order a three-pack, 50% of the proceeds will be donated to Black Women's Blueprint, a non-profit organization that centers Black women and their experiences in a multitude of racial justice work.kaleihuluCA Black Lives Matter Lapel Pins, $, available at EtsyMitscoots Outfitters White Loom Woven Chevron BlanketPlush blankets are the perfect cozy hosting gift — but this one in particular has an even more thoughtful mission: For every blanket purchased, the brand gives an equal quality blanket to a shelter helping individuals in need.Mitscoots Outfitters White Loom Woven Chevron Blanket, $, available at Mitscoots OutfittersEtsy Staying Silent In Times Of Injustice Is Privilege PrintThese hand-designed prints can be purchased for just $7.90 each, with 100% of the proceeds split evenly between The Trans Women of Color Collective, Black Women's Blueprint, and the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. A custom frame adds a nice touch.shopsundaestudios Staying Silent In Times Of Injustice Is Privilege Prin, $, available at EtsyEverlane 100% Human Box-Cut Graphic TeeEveryone needs a good, soft staple tee in their closet. For every 100% Human product sold, Everlane will donate 10% to the ACLU. So far, the brand has raised more than $650,000 for the organization.Everlane 100% Human Box-Cut Graphic Tee, $, available at EverlanePower & Light Press Stand With Planned Parenthood Tote BagThis durable canvas tote bag is perfect for the Planned Parenthood-supporter in your life. So far, proceeds from this bag have been responsible for over $97,000 in donations to PP, which has helped to fund vital and affordable reproductive health care.Power & Light Press Stand With Planned Parenthood Tote Bag, $, available at Power & Light PressThe Giving Keys Mini Key NecklaceCute jewelry that gives back? Sign us up! Proceeds from all Giving Key products help provide jobs and other support to people who are transitioning out of homelessness.The Giving Keys Mini Key Necklace, $, available at The Giving KeysLike what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?The Best Under-$20 Beauty GiftsThe Freshest Cooking Gifts For Your Best Chef Pals32 Gifts To Get The Runner In Your Life
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Astrology buffs know that the stars can tell you a lot about who you are — especially if you delve deeper than your basic sun signs. There's your rising sign, your moon sign, your house signs, and more that can help you decipher your life's trajectory and your personality. Your midheaven sign, which is actually an angle on your chart located at the cusp of your tenth house, can also tell you what your career looks like and how you find success."The midheaven is the 10th house of one’s birth chart," astrologer Lisa Stardust tells Refinery29. "It represents our public life, standing, and career goals. More importantly, it describes our purpose in life and what we can give to society."Along with career goals, it also represents your most outer self, your connection with the world, your purpose in this lifetime, your achievements, and your aspirations. "It's not necessarily where we make our most success or our most money, but it is where we will find the most success and where we will feel more fulfilled," explains Alexandria Lettman, the resident astrologer for The SoulUnity, a healing collective. "It could be your side hustle rather than your job."Learning how your midheaven sign relates to your professional life and how you find fulfillment can be eye-opening. To find yours, use a site like cafeastrology.com to create your birth chart (you'll need your birth day, birth time, and birth place), then look for what sign is in your 10th house or midheaven. Then keep reading for some information that might help you plan your career path.AriesIf your midheaven is in Aries, you're a go-getter when it comes to your career and work life. "Aries' 10th house is ruled by Saturn, which means they're drawn towards careers that focus on organizing and leading — think boss, politics, principal, or any position of power," Stardust says.Lettman agrees. She says that those with their midheaven in Aries seek a competitive working environment, somewhere where they can feel adventurous and where they can assert themselves and be a leader. "They do very well in managerial positions, project leaders, sports, basically anything that's action-oriented," she explains. They thrive in a position where their day-to-day is never the same. Repetitiveness is their worst enemy.Photographed by Megan Madden.TaurusIf Taurus is your midheaven sign, you're probably seeking a creative job that also pays well. (It's a good midheaven sign for big-name celebs, Lettman notes.) "They're good creators, they seek out jobs that will award them the type of lifestyle they want regarding comfortability and the financial side of things," she explains. "They tend to lean more towards the creative side, music, film arts, that sort of thing."Stardust says that their 10th house is ruled by Uranus, which means they're drawn towards careers that they also focus on bringing people together and changing society at large. "Think innovator, tech, or medicine," she says.Photographed by Megan Madden.GeminiThose with their midheaven in Gemini thrive through sharing and gaining information. "Anything that allows them to communicate with others and have that give and take is good for them," Lettman says. "They get very bored easily, so they need to be constantly intellectually stimulated. They are more likely to change careers throughout their lifetimes or have more than one job at the same time. They're great at having side hustles."Stardust says that their 10th house is ruled by Neptune, which means they are drawn towards careers that focus on healing, giving, and selling visions to others. She says this person would thrive as a salesperson, spiritual guru, newscaster, journalist, or publicist.Photographed by Megan Madden.CancerIf your midheaven is in Cancer, that means your 10th house is ruled by Mars. "They are drawn towards careers that boost and elevate their status. Think of working for luxury brands," Stardust explains. "They have to excel at work and be the best at their job at all times."Lettman says the people with this placement are more likely to work with family members or their partners. "They're also more likely to go into a family business or encourage their children to pursue the career they took up. They want to feel as though they are loved and respected and appreciated in their job." Photographed by Megan Madden.Leo"Their 10th house is ruled by Venus, which means they are drawn towards careers that embrace glamour and focus on their innate talents," Stardust says. "Think modeling and acting."Lettman agrees, saying that people who have their midheaven in Leo are born to be in the spotlight. "They find fame quite effortlessly. No matter what career they choose, they're more likely to be a household name for that field and recognized for being the best in that business," she says. "They're amazing entertainers, creators, and CEOs. They want to leave behind a legacy, they want a career and a job that precedes their lifetime."Photographed by Megan Madden.Virgo"Their 10th house is ruled by Mercury, which means they are drawn towards careers that focus on helping the public evolve their mindset," Stardust says."They're naturally drawn to careers that help other people," Lettman says. Think scientists, doctors, humanitarians, holistic healers, nutritionists; jobs that center around serving other peoples' needs or fulfilling a purpose. "They have to have some sort of purpose to what they're doing or else it doesn't feel worth it to them," Lettman explains. "They enjoy environments that are structured and organized." Those with their midheaven in Virgo generally tend to choose safe careers that they know are always going to be around and needed.Stardust also notes that they work well with having two different careers at once, so if this is you, consider a side hustle. Photographed by Megan Madden.LibraStardust says that those with their midheaven in Libra have their 10th house ruled by the Moon. "This means they are drawn towards careers that focus on nurturing, clothing, or feeding the public, she explains. "Think chef or food industry, or a career in the fashion industry."Lettman also says that they're very good mediators, they're excellent at working with other people, and they tend to be creative and artistic. "They're most likely to find a romantic partner or lifelong friends through the work that they do," she adds. "They have very good public presence and likability, which is why public roles or teaching is very good for them." Photographed by Megan Madden.ScorpioIf your midheaven is in Scorpio, your 10th house is ruled by the Sun. As you can probably guess, that means you're drawn to a career that lets your star shine, Stardust says. You're a leader; a place where you're one of many employees isn't the best fit. Honestly, if there were ever a person destined to be a social media influencer, it would be someone with their midheaven in Scorpio."They're more likely to work in jobs that people don't necessarily understand or there isn't much information out there about it," Lettman adds. "People see the role but they aren't exactly sure what it entails." Photographed by Megan Madden.SagittariusThe midheaven in Sag is ruled by Mercury, Stardust says. "They're drawn towards careers that focus on exposing the underbellies of society through writing," she says. "Think blogger or political writer."Lettman says that people with this placement need a career that's focused on bettering the world: "They're amazing leaders, they work excellent in politics, sales, investments, and they're popular public figures and public speakers." Dreamy Sags like to be on the move as well, which means that any job that allows them to travel is a great option for them.Photographed by Megan Madden.CapricornIf your midheaven is in Capricorn, your 10th house is ruled by Venus, and you're likely best suited for a career that focuses on bringing harmony and peace to others who are in relationships. Think: marriage therapist, says Stardust.Sounds stressful, but this kind of career is perfect for them. "They can thrive in the more tense working environments that may overwhelm other people," Lettman says. She also notes that they want a job where they are highly respected in their field and they're not willing to mix business and pleasure. "They want a serious working environment and they make very good mentors and advisors and managers."Photographed by Megan Madden.Aquarius"Their 10th house is ruled by Pluto, which means they are drawn towards careers that focus on understanding life’s mysteries on a deep level to bring change," Stardust says. A person with their midheaven in Aquarius would feel fulfilled as an investigative journalist.They're also the type of people to create the job they want, which makes them natural entrepreneurs. They're very likely to be self-employed. And they're into volunteer work too.Photographed by Megan Madden.PiscesIf your midheaven is Pisces, your 10th house is ruled by Jupiter. This pairing tends to come with a sense of creativity and a strong intuition — but Pisces is a gentle sign, one that might make a person prefer a behind-the-scenes job. "They are not so much likely to be famous, but well-recognized. They're the writers behind the stars, the publicists behind the famous people, the lyricists of the hit song and the script writers and filmmakers behind the movies," Lettman says. "Their input always creates something big and beautiful, but they're not the face of success."Stardust says someone with their midheaven in Pisces would also do well in a career in education. Photographed by Megan Madden.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?Can An Astrology Dating App Lead You To Love?Biden & Harris Are A Dream Team, AstrologicallyUse Mercury Retrograde To Spice Up Your Sex Life
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