There are three distinct phases to watching the Oscars: (1) judging everyone on the red carpet while you sit at home drinking champs in no pants, (2) being all “I am a highbrow film expert who totally has OPINIONS that Twitter needs to hear about,” and (3) getting bored about halfway through and angrily waiting to see who wins Best Picture even though you don’t even freakin’ care anymore, just make it end.
Of course, it’s impossible to partake in any of these important phases if you, an adult, still haven’t bothered getting a TV. But don’t panic, you can still watch the Oscars thanks to the beauty that is streaming. Or rather, the beauty that is hacking the streaming system so you don’t pay. LET’S GO.
Real Quick: Remind Me When the Academy Awards Even Are...?
My good friend Google tells me the Oscars are at 8 p.m. ET Sunday, February 9, on ABC. Mark your cals and make your predictions!
Just Gimme the Streaming Links Already
Okay, there are several options, so pick your poison:
My Parents Have Rejected Me Per Usual: Also cool, you can easily hack the system by signing up for a free seven-day trial with a live streaming platform like Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, DirecTV Now, or FuboTV. Just keep in mind that they WILL take your money
if when you forget to cancel and then you’ll end up like those people who are still paying for an unused gym membership two years after their free trial ended (it’s fine, I’m handling it).
F*ck the Oscars, I Live for the Red Carpet
Um, wow, okay, calm down. There are actually TWO red carpets to pick from this year: The Oscars Red Carpet Show will air at 6:30 p.m. ET over on ABC, and E!’s whole ~insane thing~ starts even earlier at 5 p.m. ET. You can stream both through the platforms above, and because E! is nothing if not extra, it’ll also be streaming some red-carpet content on Twitter @ENews.
KAY, BYE, HAVE FUN LOL.
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