This Festive Holiday Sloth Sweater Only Costs $5,995

Britt Aboutaleb

The ugly holiday sweater might be a beloved December tradition, but luxury it is not. Until now, at least. Mid deep-dive into the world wide web of nonsensical tops—from Santa peeing to Manatees clinging—we found this delightful image of a sloth clinging to the North Pole against a snow-flecked cotton/polyester blend. It’s the biggest moment for sloths since Kristen Bell’s classic 2014 breakdown. The black and white sweater is made in China, and costs $5,995 on holidayfury.com. Meaning the “5% other fibers” is a) gold b) the fairy dust that makes Rudolph fly or c) the actual fur of the nearly extinct Two-Toed North Pole Sloth.

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