Think Kansas City style is our favorite barbecue? You’re so wrong, survey says. | Opinion

Kansas’ favorite style of barbecue sauce is something called “Alabama white sauce.”

If you’re like me, you’ve never actually had it, or even heard of it.

But Alabama white was named Kansas’ favorite sauce in a state-by-state online survey of 3,000 barbecue aficionados across the country, according to the website of Smoked BBQ Source.

At this point, you’re probably asking “What have they been smoking?”

I checked out the site and it actually seems pretty legit, with lots of recipes and credible advice on grilling and smoking.

But how they came up with Alabama white as Kansas’ favorite barbecue sauce, I’ll probably never know.

We get these sorts of polls and surveys every day.

Today alone, we’ve gotten a poll naming Travis Kelce as the most popular player in the NFL. That’s kind of plausible, with his being Taylor Swift’s boyfriend and whatnot.

We got another Chiefs poll, that ranked them as the third-most fashionable team in the NFL, based on search traffic and keywords such as “fashion” and “outfits.” Kelce was the most fashionable Chief, again likely due to the more-or-less obsessive interest in him among Swifties.

And then there was the survey that ranked Kansas as the “cheapest state to plan a summer vacation.” That one, I actually believe, having spent many a night in Kansas motels that were, umm, shall we say economical?

And where else but Kansas can you add twine to the world’s largest ball of it, climb down a hand-dug well, tour a salt mine, and eat at a western-themed Subway that was once part of an amusement park that went out of business two months after it opened? And all that costs less than one day in Disneyland, so make your reservations now, or don’t, because you probably won’t really need them.

But I digress.

I seldom write about these surveys, because they’re mostly bogus.

But every now and then, one comes along that is so off the mark that it actually becomes fun to make fun of it.

Which brings us back to the Alabama white sauce.

Here’s how they described it: “Alabama White Sauce is celebrated for its distinctive mayonnaise base, setting it apart with its unique color and creamy texture.”

My immediate reaction: Ick.

I’m not smearing mayonnaise anything on a perfectly good brisket or rack of ribs.

Neither does any other Kansan I know, except maybe Chance Swaim, Eagle investigative reporter and an avid hunter who co-authors our “Open Season” online newsletter.

Chance said he bought a bottle of Alabama white sauce at the store once. His hot take: “It tastes better than it looks.”

I’ll take his word for it. The man eats like a raccoon — when he’s not eating a raccoon.

Although I’ve lived here 26 years, I don’t claim to know it all when it comes to Kansas cuisine.

Perhaps, I considered, the restaurants where I get my barbecue are all part of some front group for the tomato industrial complex.

It’s a big state, and maybe there’s a secret underground that’s trafficking in white-sauced barbecue somewhere.

So I consulted an actual expert, Denise Neil, the award-winning writer of our “Dining with Denise” column and celebrated author of the book “Classic Restaurants of Wichita.”

Her reaction was as incredulous as mine.

“That poll is wrong, wrong, wrongo dongo,” she said. “People here don’t eat that.”

She said she only remembers seeing Alabama white sauce on one menu in the 24 years she’s been reporting on Kansas food and restaurants.

It was a sauce option at Crutch BBQ, a Rock Road eatery near the Towne East mall which closed last year, and reopened as Quinton’s Bar & Grill with a different concept and menu.

So what does Denise say is our real favorite barbecue here? It’s obvious: “Kansans like Kansas City style, sweet and sticky.”

She was shocked to discover that KC-style came in at a woeful No. 8 in the poll, behind Arizona, Georgia, Florida, California, Arkansas and Texas styles.

I was equally shocked.

I lived in California and Arizona for most of my life before coming to Kansas, and I didn’t know we even had a barbecue style.

Hawaiian placed No. 9 on the survey of Kansas’ favorite barbecues. You’d think it would be higher, with all the luaus we’re always having around here.

But it appears we’re stuck with Alabama white as our favorite barbecue sauce.

The survey said it, so it must be true. Deal with it.