How to Find the Right Therapist for You, Once and for All
Hi. I’m Carolyn. I’m the editor in chief of SELF and the host of our brand new wellness advice podcast, Checking In. In our most recent episode, we’re talking all about how to find the right therapist for you.
In today’s episode, a listener named Ecaroh calls in to tell us that, as a Black woman, she’s having a tough time finding a therapist who she feels comfortable with. Ecaroh is from a small Texas town and didn’t grow up thinking much about therapy. That changed when she went to college. “I started struggling a little bit, especially since I went to a primarily white institution,” Ecaroh says. “I felt pretty isolated. And eventually, I decided, I need to do something about this.”
Ecaroh wanted to explore her feelings with a therapist—and a lot of what she wanted to discuss involved the nuances of her life as a Black woman. “That's something that's hard to talk about with people who don't understand that experience directly,” Ecaroh says. Her preference was to find a Black therapist to talk to—but living in her small Texas town, she couldn’t find a Black therapist to see. So she didn’t know what to do next, or how to find the right therapist for her—someone who she could feel comfortable with.
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Finding the right therapist can be hard for anyone. The therapist search often demands a lot of time, effort, and money, no matter who you are. But if you’re looking for a therapist who shares core parts of your identity or really understands your experiences, that search can become even harder. So for this week’s episode of Checking In, I talk to a couple of people who can help Ecaroh—and other listeners in the same situation—find the help they deserve.
To start, I talk to SELF’s executive editor, Zahra Barnes. Zahra and I have worked together for five years, but podcasting together was a fun first for us. In those five years, Zahra has written and edited plenty of stories covering the ins and outs of mental health in general, and also the specific nuances that come with mental health care and access for Black people, in particular. In June, as Black Lives Matter protests ramped up after the tragic deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and many other Black people, Zahra wrote the piece 44 Mental Health Resources for Black People Trying to Survive in This Country. It’s full of resources Black people can turn to for support, from Instagram accounts destigmatizing mental health to virtual wellness clubs to Black therapist directories. The piece got an outpouring of appreciation from Black readers who found it valuable; I knew I had to talk to Zahra for this episode.
When it comes to finding a therapist who gets you, Zahra shares some tips she’s picked up in her years of writing and editing stories on the subject, but also from her own experiences as a Black woman in therapy. “Having someone I don't have to explain certain things to—I don't have to wonder if they're going to doubt if I say something’s racist—it's just an additional level of comfort and relaxation,” Zahra says. She adds: “It's really, really important for us to have safe spaces where we can express all of our feelings.”
One of Zahra’s main tips for Ecaroh is to take advantage of the rise of teletherapy, which isn’t perfect but is making mental health care more accessible for many people due to the coronavirus pandemic. “That opens up so much space to find someone who isn't local but is great in every single other way,” she says. She also suggests using directories like Psychology Today that allow you to filter therapists by teletherapy offerings, insurance coverage, specialty (including racial identity), and more.
Then, to get some expert insight, Zahra speaks with Jennifer Mullan, Psy.D., a psychologist at New Jersey City University's Counseling Center. Mullan is on a mission to do what she describes as decolonizing therapy. “Part of what decolonizing therapy is, is helping professionals across the world work to decolonize—or undo, reformat, realign—our mental health professions by working to heal the wounds of oppression,” she says. She and Zahra discuss what decolonizing therapy looks like in practice, how it can help patients work through all kinds of trauma they may not even realize they’re carrying, and why it can be so helpful to bring this framework into therapy sessions. They also get into some tips Ecaroh can use when determining if her next therapist is the right fit for her, like interviewing her therapist to make sure she’s getting the care she’s after.
Because that’s the thing: You deserve a safe, healing experience with a therapist dedicated to your growth and healing as a whole person, including your race or any other part of your identity that’s foundational to who you are. If you’re in need of exactly that, I hope you tune into the episode, and the advice gives you what you need.
You Might Also Like
If you’re interested in learning more about any of these topics—Blackness and mental health, finding a great therapist, getting comfortable with therapy, virtual mental health support—here are some articles from SELF you might enjoy:
On Black Mental Health:
17 Feelings It’s Totally Normal to Have as a Black Person in America
9 Books by Black Therapists to Help You Process Your Emotions
8 Black Therapists on Their Best Advice for Coping Right Now
9 Black Journalists on What It’s Been Like to Cover—And Cope With—The News
It’s Okay for Black People to Take a Break Right Now
Black Joy Isn’t Frivolous—It’s Necessary
Taraji P. Henson Takes on Mental Health, Menopause, and the Myth of the 'Strong Black Woman'
On Finding the Right Therapist:
7 Ways to Find an Actually Affordable Therapist
How to Decide Between Seeing a Therapist or a Counselor
9 Awkward Questions You Probably Want to Ask Your New Therapist
How Can You Tell If Therapy Is Actually Working?
On Getting Used to Therapy (and Teletherapy):
7 Tips for Anyone Starting Therapy for the First Time
How to Actually Have a Successful Teletherapy Appointment
I’m Struggling With Teletherapy Too—And I’m a Psychiatrist
11 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Therapy Right Now
On Virtual Mental Health Resources:
44 Mental Health Resources for Black People Trying to Survive in This Country
41 Mental Health Apps That Will Make Life a Little Easier
10 Online Support Groups for Anyone Struggling to Get Through 2020
Originally Appeared on SELF
