The Tern GSD Is the Most Useful Bicycle Ever
The bicycle began as a vehicle. Long before Eddy Merckx climbed his first Alp, people rode to get places, haul stuff, and generally make their lives easier. That’s still a big chunk of the bicycle’s DNA. Bike messengers, delivery riders, and hot dog vendors use bikes for business every day. In the Netherlands, one in four trips are by bicycle. And the proliferation of e-bikes makes it easier than ever to pedal your payload. But one bike outworks and outperforms the rest: the Tern GSD.
A powerful 250-watt Bosch motor helps it haul like a freight train, and the long-and-low frame makes even the biggest loads surprisingly stable. But what elevates it from useful to life-changing are the smaller details. Integrated lights ensure you’re always seen. The handlebar folds in half, and the bike stands up on its back end to save space. The modular rear rack accommodates all manner of cargo.
To evaluate this bike’s carry-it-all cred, I tried utilitarian tasks, like groceries, and ridiculous challenges, like taxiing the Saturday night bar crowd. The GSD shone through it all. Riding these mini-missions, I also learned that everyone loves a cargo bike. Adults want to know how fast it goes. Wheelie kids want to wheelie it. The GSD gets people excited about bikes, and that’s the most useful trick of all.
Mission 1: Grocery Shop • If carrying your own grocery bags tickles your environmental conscience, try ditching the fossil fuels on the way to the store. I locked up closer than the nearest parking spot, answered the obligatory questions from onlookers (yes, it has a motor; yes, it rides very well; no, I won’t trade with you), and bought 40 pounds’ worth of groceries. I packed the panniers and rode home at an easy 20 mph before my frozen Jamaican patties had a chance to thaw.
Mission 2: Be Less Late • The “oh, shit!” scenario: I arrived at work at 8:55 a.m. and realized I’d left my bag, with my laptop and all of the day’s gear, at home. Climbing the 500-foot ridge between home and the office would normally take an hour round-trip, but the GSD’s punchy Bosch motor rocketed me over the hill and cut my snafu ride to 40 minutes.
Mission 3: Stock up on Spirit • Yes, there were already awards at the local gravel ride, but I decided they could be improved upon. While the peloton was out spraying dirt, I hit two flea markets to find prizes for the men’s and women’s race winners and a spirit award. In the GSD’s panniers I put a porcelain figurine of a dalmatian dressed as a firefighter, a light-up painting of a quintessential Pennsylvania covered bridge, and a 3-foot-tall doll of The Rock-I heard the winner was pretty stoked about it.
Mission 4: Declutter a Desk • I’m a full-time gear editor and a part-time hoarder, so my desk looks like I raided an REI. To clean house, I threw everything I could in the GSD’s panniers: five pairs of shoes, two helmets, a week’s worth of dirty riding clothes, and any miscellaneous multitool or fitness tracker that didn’t spark joy. Now, if I were organized, I’d wash everything and outfit-prep for the next week, because you really can fit a week’s worth of gear in the panniers.
Mission 5: Go on Trash Patrol • In my neighborhood, “No Dumping” signs might as well read “Dump Your Crap Here,” so I went all Greenpeace on a nearby block and loaded the GSD’s rear tray with a recycling bin and its panniers with trash bags. Soon, a Honda headlight, a dead 12-inch CRT television, and countless beer cans filled the bin, and nonrecyclable trash went in the bags. With a long bungee cord, I strapped a dead Christmas tree to the tray and pedaled home, where I kept my filthy bounty until trash day.
Mission 6: Commit Minor (But Rewarding!) Theft • We had a fake ficus tree in the Bicycling office that was shuffled from room to room as it got in the way constantly. So I stole it to brighten my apartment. I lifted the tree onto the GSD’s rear tray, wrapped two bungee cords around its copper pot, and away we went. The 6-foot faux-cus caught a few wind gusts that I like to think made it feel surprisingly alive.
Mission 7: Pedal the Impaired Pedestrian • My final challenge would test the Tern GSD and my bike-handling skills equally: I wore a sign that read “$1 Rides” outside Molly’s Irish Pub in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on a Saturday night. Having mounted the Sidekick handlebars, seat pad, and pegs, I took bar patrons on a three-block loop. Dodging drunkards and double-parked cops tested the bike’s low-speed handling, especially with wobbly adult humans over the rear wheel. A girl named Brittany almost lost her high-heel when her shoe caught beneath the right peg, but everyone who kept their hands and feet inside the vehicle loved the view from the back of the GSD. Once we were at a stable speed, Brittany admitted she was impressed. I even made enough money to recoup the cost of the sign.
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