12 Teachers Who Confiscated Weird Stuff From Their Students (And 20 Students Who Brought Even *Weirder* Stuff To School)
For many, the new school year has already started — or is about to — which means it's time for a brand new set of school horror stories!
Evite / Via media.giphy.com
Reddit user u/GlytchedTTV asked, "Teachers of Reddit, what was the worst thing you had to confiscate from a student?" Here are a few responses from teachers and students alike:
1."Just today alone, at school one of my students had her piercing gun confiscated after she tried to pierce her own nose in the bathroom."
2."My sister teaches children that are exceptional and one of the children bought underwear, various pads, tampons, and sex toys off of the school bus. When the school called the parents, they were mortified. It was a very long day for her."
3."I worked an after-school program right after college. A third grader who had not touched a book willingly all year was giggling over one with her friends, which was suspicious. So, I asked to look at it and it was very erotic but aged in the older YA group (like 18–19). I had a talk with her about not showing or reading it to anyone else and caught her. I took the book and gave it to her very embarrassed mom who said the dad had let her buy whatever book she wanted. I found them passing it to the second graders a day later. I’m all for sex Ed and sex positivity and reading, but Jesus Christ, third graders."
4."I have a girl who has been bringing their pet lizard into high school and whenever I catch her, the lizard stays with me for the day."
5."I remember in high school while at a friend's locker, the girl next to her had a fish in her locker. How she got it in the school and how she fed it on the weekends confused the hell out of me. Was it temporary? How long had it been there? Why?"
6."One little girl brought in her mom’s vibrator for show and tell."
7."One of our kids recently brought a diamond ring he took from his mom for a girl. I sent the mom a picture and asked if she knew where he got it. She was horrified and I promised to send it home in a sealed envelope. She texted me when he got home that the ring he brought home was not the one I’d sent a picture of. After much confusion, we found out he’d taken two diamond rings for two different girls."
8."Someone in my year kept their fish in their locker. They brought food for it and everything. It died like six months later, probably because the tank had never been cleaned."
9."Two of the girls in my middle school were eating uncooked noodles in class, so the teacher took them away."
10."The weirdest: A gum ball the size of a melon. As in, a huge clump of chewed gum some boy in the ninth grade had been 'adding to' for about a year and kept secret in his locker. It turns out it was a 'personal project' of his and explained why he was constantly chewing gum, all day, every day."
11."My friend brought a live duck to class once when we were in middle school. It took a couple of hours for the teacher to notice."
12."A styrofoam head that some boys had drawn a smile on and scooped out some eye holes. It had a name and they took it to every class. It got old and shabby and so did the joke so I put it out of its misery. It was a great staff room trophy, though."
13."When I was in kindergarten, I wanted some chocolate milk that day, so I grabbed some money from my mom's purse. I was confused as to why the lunch lady and teachers were in such a state. They called my mom. It turns out a bill that has 100 on it is not a $1.00 bill."
14."My mom is a physical therapist so there were always random bones in my house that I brought to school. I used to think that was cool but now I’m not so sure."
15."I brought three Madagascar hissing cockroaches to my middle school science class. I was out sick the day before and missed the teacher's memo about NO LIVE ANIMALS for our presentations. Also, they're borderline illegal in our state. Whoops."
16."My high school had a tattoo 'artist' set up in one of the men's bathrooms. But apparently, he wasn't swapping out the needle so a whole group of guys ended up with hepatitis. They all turned him in for it in the end."
17."I know my teachers had to deal with a little craze that started when I was in sixth grade: snorting Smarties. There was a group of kids who would cut up Smarties for fun and snort them."
—Dani
18."My friend is diabetic and has an insulin pump. They had multiple teachers over the years think it's an MP3 player and try to confiscate it before realizing it's attached to their body and they literally can't hand it over."
19."Once our philosophy teacher got mad and confiscated our recently captured grasshopper because we named him 'Aristotle.'"
20."I confiscated a dildo from my 14-year-old class. They'd lifted it from a sex ed class and thought it would be fun to stick it on the whiteboard of their young female art teacher. She shrieked and I just wandered in and said 'Wow, a dildo, that's unusual.' and took it away. They were most unimpressed by my complete lack of reaction, which of course is the way to play it."
21."There was a popular story at school that happened before my time. One girl got caught trying to smuggle her pet, a fennec fox in a vanity case, into her dorm. The school called the RSPCA and suspended the girl for a fortnight. Poor fox. No one should ever own an exotic pet."
22."My mom always told the story about my brother bringing a signed picture of Richard Petty to his class and telling everyone he was his Dad. This was first or second grade maybe."
23."In third grade, I once had my entire deck of only-holographic YuGiOh cards confiscated from me for playing with them during break time too much with friends. I was told I'd be able to get them back when I graduated from school in sixth grade. I said okay, not totally understanding what was going on. I forgot about them completely (though I still kept a vested interest in the TCG for a few more years, like into fifth grade until ninth grade. I went back and asked my old third-grade teacher to return my property. Within seconds, she pulled them out of her desk drawer and hands me them. It was an odd experience."
24."My stepdad has been an administrator at a middle school for years. Once he had a pretty notorious student come into the office looking for a scooter that had been abandoned/confiscated. He saw it, swore to high heaven it was his, nobody believed him on reputation. They pulled out the little removable handlebars and found a bag of weed stashed inside. He went, 'See? That’s mine!'"
25."My 7th-grade homeroom teacher confiscated my private journal AND read it. There's nothing more disappointing than losing respect for elders as a child."
26."In high school before the internet, I had a locker full of porn mags that I would rent out to kids for $1 a night. I didn't know they cut locks off lockers and emptied them over the holidays."
27."A teacher once confiscated a brick from me when I was five or six. At that time I and a friend of mine would collect stones and see them as power. So when I saw a big ass brick I thought, 'No way my friend can bring more power than that.' Yeah, I was stupid."
28."Once we confiscated a pineapple that all the boys would worship."
29."My teacher took my gold NASA pen I got for my birthday because 'It wasn't fair to the other students.' I never got it back"
30."I had a self-programming remote control for the TV. So I’d periodically turn on the TV during class and flip to some channel. It looked just like a garage door opener so they didn’t figure it out for a while until some other kid saw and ratted me out."
