"The Anxiety Was Unbearable": Teachers Are Sharing The Devastating Moments That Made Them Reconsider Their Careers
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community who are current or former teachers to tell us about a situation at work that made them want to leave teaching altogether. Their stories were truly devastating, but they're important to discuss. Here's what they shared:
Warning: Post contains mention of firearms, violence, and sexual assault.
1."At the last active shooter training, the police officers said they were going to shoot us with rubber bullets. They burst in and shot blanks at the floor, and left. They then said that they wanted us to feel as if actual harm was coming so that we could know the fear of that situation."
—Anonymous
2."My principal demanded a short summary of the details of my therapy sessions from my psychologist to make sure they were 'productive.' I didn’t know any better and asked my therapist, and he said the request was highly immoral at best, and illegal at worst. He’d only been asked to take such action before for violent criminals, so it was nice to know what my principal thought of me."
—Anonymous
3."I teach health, and a big portion of that is sex education. I was threatened to be doxxed online by a parent who also lied about things I was doing in my classroom. Unfortunately, sex ed teachers are often labeled as 'groomers' just because we teach kids anatomy and talk about sex (in a completely age-appropriate and evidence-based way). The worst part was that my administration didn’t support me at all. I had to sit in a meeting with the parent and my director while they spewed lies about me. I was expected to be respectful and courteous while they accused me of being inappropriate with students (with absolutely no evidence), just because of the subject I teach. I moved districts after that and now have the full support of my administration. I’ve never had another issue similar to this one!"
—Anonymous
4."A newly-elected school board member proposed a policy requiring teachers to contact parents when a child expresses a different sexuality or gender identity. The school board seriously debated the issue. It didn’t pass after public comment, but I don’t want to work for that school board AND the public who keeps electing them."
—Anonymous
5."I work in one of the largest school systems in the US. For a ridiculous number of years, they had a policy of 'not believing' in dyslexia, which has been a proven condition for decades! Students who were tested and found to have dyslexia were labeled as SPED, 'other learning disability,' and received absolutely no support or services directly related to helping them manage dyslexia, for which there are proven methods that can help. Most classroom teachers are not equipped with the skills to help students with this as we are generalists, not specialists. It still makes me so angry that such a large school system that claims to be so progressive and inclusive could do this to students it was supposed to be invested in."
—Anonymous
6."I was pregnant and due at the end of the school year. I made a final due date for all late/missing assignments the Friday before school got out so I would have time to grade, as I was being induced on Monday. Multiple parents emailed and complained to admin insisting that I accept work (that was originally due months before) on Monday, even though they knew I would be in the hospital GIVING BIRTH."
—Anonymous
7."Students' behavior post-Covid is unreal and there’s little-to-no support. Everything is somehow the teacher's fault, or we’re not being compassionate about student trauma. I’m in no way denying that some/many students have experienced trauma that impacts their behavior, but some kids these days are just wildly acting out because they know there are no consequences for anything anymore, not because they have trauma. I teach an elementary special, and one day, a couple months ago, some of the boys in the fifth grade class I had were bragging about how they were so bad, they caused their (first-year) teacher to break down and cry in front of them, and now that was their new goal in their classes. I told them they should be ashamed and that it was my 18th year and they weren’t going to make me cry, so they could just sit there with their heads down for the rest of class."
—Anonymous
8."I am an electives teacher. One year, for teacher appreciation week, the administration planned duty-free lunch and other activities. The only issue was that elective teachers had to cover core teachers' classes so that THEY could enjoy the festivities, not us. When I brought up that we were still teachers too, the principal said, 'Really?' Another one: Our school took in a kid that no other school would. No teachers were given any information on this kid. We could not write him up. He was allowed to wander the halls, and he could skip class and do no work, but we had to pass him."
"Turns out, he got kicked out of every school he attended for setting fire to a teacher's dress, pushing a teacher down the stairs, and pulling a knife on a teacher. Apparently our administration was scared of him, so they let him do whatever. He was finally suspended for five days for threatening to blow up the school. He was only suspended because he posted it online and a parent had to call central office for anything to be done about it."
—Anonymous
9."1) A student brought a frying pan to school and beat another student with it in the middle of the cafeteria. 2) Later in the year, a different student followed me into the copy room and refused to leave when I asked him to and even blocked the door. When I reported it the administration, their response was, 'Oh, that kid? Yeah, he does that sometimes.'"
—Anonymous
10."I am entering my eighth year of teaching kindergarten. Last year, I had a parent who attached not one but two tracking/listening devices to her son. When I brought this to admin and the school board office, I was not supported since there was no proof this mom was actually recording what was going on in the classroom and there wasn't a policy in place to support the use of this technology. This mom would also email me every day, sometimes multiple times a day, about how her son was doing in class. She would also email me about conversations that went on in the classroom (that she obviously listened in on with the devices). These types of devices are typically used for special education students who run away and/or are non-verbal. Her son is not in special education, is very smart, and is considered a typical kindergarten student. The anxiety of this was unbearable and actually caused my hair to thin and start to fall out."
—Anonymous
11."I work as a behavior specialist and support students with their behavior, making better choices, etc. Last summer term, I was dealing with two unruly students who just wouldn’t follow instructions — severe defiance, running around the site, basically, little terrors. These little terrors decided to go into one of the bathrooms (one cubicle and one urinal), and they ran out screaming and laughing. Upon entry to said bathroom afterwards, I was met with the foulest stench. I stepped into the empty bathroom and immediately realized that one of them had pooped in a sink. I questioned myself straight away. I work with students that can be little turds, but working with their actual turds…no thank you!"
—Anonymous
12."I had a middle school student take a $5 bet to go to the bathroom and dump a bottle of glitter on himself. When he returned from his bathroom break covered in glitter from head to toe, I almost walked out the door. File this under things not covered in my university coursework."
—Anonymous
13."I was worried that my second year would be as bad as my first. I didn’t have a lot of support from admin or from coaches, and it made it tough when I had difficult kiddos. I would ask for help on how to best support them, and nothing would happen. My second year was worse than the first. Students broke the glass to my door, there was a lot of cursing, and they'd throw scissors. I was constantly crying at the end of the day. It made me feel like I wasn’t enough. My admin blamed it all on me and said I wasn’t being a good enough teacher, though the rest of my coworkers saw that wasn’t the case. I would try anything and everything to help my students succeed. I left and completely changed not only schools, but districts! Having supportive administration is so crucial and you can’t do this job without it."
—Anonymous
14."A mother hacked into her son's school email account and sent an email to all of my students asking them to contact her if they were experiencing 'bad behavior' from me. This was after I proved to her that I was following her son's 504 plan, but wouldn't do additional things they demanded from me. Pretty ironic that she was worried about my so-called 'bad behavior' when she caused her son to be harassed by students who came to my defense."
—Anonymous
15."An administrator tried to write me up after I had major surgery. I came back to work anyway even though I didn’t have to and then showed a movie that I’ve always shown that fits the curriculum for WWII. They didn’t like movies being shown, even though I only showed two a year. There was nothing in our handbooks that forbade us from showing movies or having to have permission to show one. He was moved at the end of the year."
—Anonymous
16."I had a parent meeting about a student’s behavior, which included regularly cussing at other students and calling other students stupid using *awful* language. The mom told me that she was a teacher too and that she had never had students cuss in her classroom and didn’t understand why I was allowing that in my classroom. I wasn’t allowing it. I was at a meeting with the mom because it wasn’t allowed and the kid wouldn’t stop! Also, no high school student EVER swore in your classes? BS."
—Anonymous
17."I’m a foster parent as well as a teacher. I left my previous school, took a pay cut, and now have to drive further because my former principal reported me to CPS. Backstory: I had taken placement of one of my students after asking the principal and school social worker if that was allowed. They both said it would be fine. Middle schoolers pay attention to things they really shouldn’t and they put two and two together once they realized my foster child no longer rode the bus. Some kids in our class started bullying her, so I went to the principal and asked for someone other than me to talk to the bullies because I thought it would be more appropriate. In my conversation with him, I told him I was a parent first and an employee second."
"He told me that I’m his employee first between 7:45 a.m. and 3:45 p.m. every day. I said, 'Absolutely not,' and walked out of his office. He reported me to CPS for 'breaching my foster child's confidentiality.' Thankfully, I have an amazing licensing worker who knew it was a false report. I left that school not even two months later in the middle of the school year because I couldn't stay in that toxic environment. This was only one example. He had also made comments about me being a foster parent and him being a 'real parent.' I’m still in education, but not in the classroom, and I am looking to get out of education altogether."
—Anonymous
18."In 2021, a group of parents decided to fight the school mask mandate and send their children without masks. A creepy seventh grade student was walking in the hallway and told a boy to take his mask off, looked me right in the eye, and said, 'She can't do anything to you. Our parents will sue her.' The entitlement is going to drive me out."
—Anonymous
19."I was doing my UK teacher training and staying up until midnight every night to get my planning done before getting the train to work at 6.45 a.m. My mentor wouldn’t share any of the school’s lesson resources with me or help me streamline the planning (in my third language). I spoke to my mentor about staying up so late to plan, and she told me she didn’t want to be my mentor in the first place and said, 'Well… it’s all just part of the job though, isn’t it?'"
—Anonymous
20."I just quit this year. My final straw wasn't being strongly advised I should 'find a way' to pass students with a consistently failing grade, or the unyielding focus on standardized testing and being dragged through endless analysis of faulty data. It wasn't the new laws in my state requiring me to chase down parents for permission to teach high schoolers Shakespeare. It wasn't even the terrible pay and stress. It was being treated like a naughty child by admin because I didn't want to be forced into one-on-one meetings with a misogynistic colleague known for sexually harassing any single, female teacher under 50. I miss the kids, but I don't miss being treated like garbage by politicians, admin, and parents."
—Anonymous
21."At the end of the school year, a student submitted a Google Form response saying people like me should die and that I'll 'burn in hell' because I'm a queer teacher. I immediately told the administration, but it took through the summer and into the next school year for anything remotely close to an investigation to happen. Even then, there was 0 disciplinary action for the student. I was told to just avoid them."
—Anonymous
22."I used to teach seventh grade and had a student who was totally out of control. This girl would randomly start singing 'Happy Birthday' in the middle of class, run around my classroom, ask inappropriate questions that she knew were inappropriate just throw me off, etc. One day, she was on a roll. I tried calling home and did all of the necessary steps before writing a referral. It got to the point where I just needed her taken out of my class. I was over her and her classmates were over her. I called my administrator to see if she could get her."
"She hung up the phone (during our private call) and came over the intercom to tell me that if I couldn't handle that child, then maybe I should just leave and never teach again. She did this while my students and the girl were in my classroom. This made the girl act ever worse than before because she assumed nothing would happen to her. I almost walked out that day and swore that I wouldn’t be returning to the classroom after this school year. Fortunately, the girl ended up starting a fight in the cafeteria and was sent to the alternative school for the rest of the year. After that, the school days went much smoother. It was very obvious that *I* was not the problem."
—Anonymous
23."I had a violent student hold me by the lanyard in a fit of poor behavior and threaten me, only to be told by parents and the deputy headteacher that 'he didn’t really mean it' and he’d only be 'spoken to.' I understand that there’s always a reason for poor behavior (this student had a history of being rude, abusive, and dangerous to students and staff), but it certainly does need to be dealt with appropriately and not just swept under the rug."
—Anonymous
24."Oof, so many reasons. For one, I had a child who would regularly throw things around my classroom, scream, and break materials. She was removed from my class about once a week. She was not my student. I also watched my teacher friends get fired for 'looking sad,' 'not connecting with a student,' and 'not taking a proper maternity leave during Covid.' Finally, I had a principal who let almost two years’ worth of referrals pile up on her desk while teachers and students were being attacked by our out-of-control student population. One teacher was injured so severely that she needed surgery. Was anything ever done about this? Nope, because the paper trail stopped at the principal’s desk. I WISH I were making this up."
—Anonymous
25."Right before my fourth year teaching at a school I had been at for three years, my husband and I became licensed foster parents and took in a six-month-old baby. He had been through a lot so we needed to see a few specialists, and one appointment had been set in stone before he had been placed with us and could not be changed due to the circumstances that placed him in CPS custody. This appointment happened to be on the third day of school. I immediately called my principal and explained the situation. I was expecting full support, as I had had several conversations with this principal the year before about my husband and I not being able to have children together and exploring other avenues."
"At the time of those conversations, I was met with full support and even an expression that this principal had gone through something similar. What I got instead was a person who was supposed to be compassionate saying, 'That’s the caseworkers job, not yours. They can take him. He won’t even be with you for long.' Not only was I hurt, but I was disappointed and I almost quit on the spot. I explained that since I was his foster mother, I would be taking him to this very important appointment. For that entire year, I was crucified any time I took off work for an appointment, even though I was always fully prepared and had everything a sub needed already laid out for them. I’m thankful that that workplace is no longer my reality and my husband and I are working through the adoption process for the baby that was placed with us. A lot of times, it’s not the kids who make teachers quit; it’s the adults who act like children."
—Anonymous
26."1) I was not listened to when I asked to be removed from a committee I had served on for 15 of my 17 years. 2) I was called into the office for following protocols after a state testing incident. 3) I was called into the office and accused of bullying for telling a student to get off FaceTime during class. 4) I was called into the office for missing three days over four months for doctor visits because my blood pressure was out of control from stress. I had 92 sick and personal days saved up. I’m a project coordinator now for a major university and couldn’t be happier!"
—Anonymous
27."One of my female students was groped by a male student the day prior in another class. She reported it, but since the male who grabbed her somehow was getting away with everything during the school year, he got a schedule change and she got told she was lying. She told me about it and a friend suggested that she go above the principal and contact the school board. The boy’s friends in the class reached out to the boy to tell him I was suggesting the girl go to the board office about the principal. Minutes later, I received a call from the principal chewing me out for the situation and telling me to know my place because the girl was a 'liar.'"
—Anonymous
28.Finally: "Our school police officer caught a student drag racing in our school parking lot. When I ended up in the parent conference because it was my class he was ditching, the parent was OUTRAGED, but not at his son. He was demanding to know who gave his son the keys to this car, as it was not his (nor did he have a license), so that THAT kid could be punished instead of his son. It took a good 30 minutes to show the dad that his kid had been playing him badly and that he was failing every single class. Dad legit thought he was an honor student. I walked away that year."
—Anonymous
Wow. Teachers truly deserve so much better.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
