"Hi, I'd Like Some Salt Paste For $100 A Scoop, Please": 29 Foods That Everyone Is Only Pretending To Like

Have you ever tasted a popular or trendy food only to think, There's no way other people actually enjoy this. Recently, redditor u/Aarunascut asked, "What food do you swear people only pretend to like?" Here's what people had to say.

1."Oysters. They taste like dirty sea water and have the extremely unappealing texture of snot."

A person holding an oyster on the half shell
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2."Matcha. It's so trendy but to me it tastes like I’m drinking fish water. I can't stand it."

Matcha powder and a latte
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3."Chicken breast. It's the biggest trick played on society. Dark meat is SO much better. If you don't prefer chicken thighs, you're lying to yourself."

Cooking chicken breast in a skillet
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4."Escargot. The sheer amount of melted butter and garlic that it's prepared with tells me enough to know that no one actually likes the snail part."

A fork holding an escargot
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5."Cauliflower 'rice,' 'pizza,' 'wings,' or any other perversion of this vegetable. Man, I feel bad for cauliflower. It never asked to be turned into bad chicken wings or fart-flavored rice."

A cauliflower pizza crust
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6."Vegan cheese. Whoever claims to like it is lying. I’ve been looking for a good nondairy cheese substitute now for 13 years and I still haven't found it."

Packaged vegan cheese at a market
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7."IPA beers... Some beers are great but I don’t understand the obsession with hops and drinking something that tastes like leaves."

Different beers on a table
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8."Caviar. Like, hello, I'd like to eat some salt paste please for $100 a scoop."

A spoon taking a scoop of caviar
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9."Durian. The texture, the smell, and everything else about this fruit are purely disgusting."

Hands holding a durian
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10."Kale. How did kale become the 'cool' lettuce? It has an amazing ability to taste soggy, stale, overcooked, and undercooked all at the same time. It’s revolting."

A bowl of kale salad
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11."Extremely hot chili sauces. I'm convinced no one actually enjoys it but eating it is entirely an act of machismo. These fiery hot sauces burn the inside of your mouth to the point where you can't tell what your food even tastes like."

Bottles of hot sauce on a table
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12."Any of those vegetarian meat alternatives for beef, chicken breast, sausages, etc. I would much rather replace meat with a tasty vegetable or tofu than eat mouthfuls of some strange lab-made protein with the wrong flavor and consistency."

Beyond Meat plant-based meat products
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13."Coconut water. Not the fresh stuff straight from the fruit but the bottled version. That's some nasty shit."

Boxed coconut water on shelves
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14."Papaya. I was having trouble explaining what papaya reminds me of...and then my cat vomited in my living room. That's exactly what papaya tastes like to me."

A bowl of fruit salad
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15."LaCroix sparkling water. It tastes as if someone ate fruit and then burped into a can of carbonated water."

Cases of LaCroix sparkling water at a store
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16."Crawfish. I'm from the South so I eat it often, but IMO it's so much work for so little reward. I really think people just enjoy the spices, corn, potatoes, and cold beer. If crawfish weren’t covered in delicious spices and so revered by Southern culture, no one would actually want to eat it."

A crawfish boil on a table with newspaper

—[deleted]

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17."Beets. It tastes like dirt and it turns your urine and BMs bright red, which makes you panic for a few seconds before you remember you actually just ate beets and are not, in fact, dying."

A pot of boiled beets
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18."Octopus. Let's be honest: It tastes like hardened chewing gum without any flavor that occasionally gets stuck in your throat."

A plate of grilled celery
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19."Celery. It has both a terrible flavor and terrible texture. People say it's a good vessel for eating things like peanut butter or blue cheese, but I say just use a damn spoon and avoid tasting the celery completely."

Peanut butter on sticks of celery
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20."American cheese. I really don't believe that anyone actually enjoys the taste of this fake, plastic food."

Packages of Kraft singles cheese.
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21."Truffle oil. It’s so gross and it's not real truffle. Even the smallest drop tastes so overpowering."

A bottle of black truffle oil

—[deleted]

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22."Black licorice. It's the worst flavor imaginable and it lingers in your mouth long after you take a bite."

Pieces of black licorice
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23."Capers. Every bite is a gross little explosion of salt and sadness."

A bowl of capers
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24."Mushrooms. I seriously want to know how anyone can enjoy that creepy, slimy consistency."

A close-up shot of mushrooms.

25."Tonic water. It's like angry, poisonous water. Why would anyone choose to drink it on purpose?"

A hand holding a cocktail with tonic water.
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26."Well-done steak. Cooking it for too long completely destroys the flavor and texture. You might as well just save yourself some money and buy chicken instead."

Sliced steak on a plate
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27."Uni, aka sea urchin. It tastes like rusty nails and explodes like rusty nail juice in your mouth. Chefs talk about how much they love it but I think people say they like it to get 'foodie' credibility."

A spoonful of uni (sea urchin)

—[deleted]

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28."Gefilte fish. I refuse to believe anyone under the age of 80 truly enjoys this Jewish dish."

Jewish Passover appetizer of gefilte fish and horseradish
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29.And finally, "Quinoa. Tell me, in what world are these flavorless grainy bits of sand considered appetizing?"

Salmon over quinoa
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What's another food you think others are only pretending to like? Tell us in the comments below.