Is Talking To Yourself Normal?

Medically reviewed by Kira Graves, PhD

Self-talk is the internal dialogue that people have with themselves. Most people talk to themselves to some degree, though they may not always be aware that they are doing so. Your inner dialogue can include both positive self-talk and negative self-talk. Some research shows that self-talk can improve reasoning and problem-solving skills and boost motivation.

While talking to yourself is normal in most instances, it can also be a sign of a mental health condition if the self-talk becomes extreme. That's because self-talk can sometimes increase with loneliness and social isolation. Research shows that what you say to yourself—rather than how often you talk to yourself—is a better indicator of your mental health.

Why Do People Talk to Themselves?

Although most people talk to themselves, there is little research on why people do it.

Some experts have found that an internal dialogue tends to be more common in people who were only children growing up. People who have an imaginary friend as children also report more self-talk as adults. Researchers hypothesize that people who are more creative, have a more active imagination, and live with an increased awareness of their emotions may be more likely to talk to themselves.

People may also talk to themselves to help solve problems, reduce anxiety before a big presentation, or improve their performance in school or sports. This type of talk refers to positive self-talk which means that people who positively speak to themselves may be able to work through challenges and experience better outcomes. For instance, one study found that basketball players passed the ball faster when they used motivational and instructional self-talk.

Self-talk also could occur when someone is isolated or lonely. One study found that lonely people often have a strong need to belong, so they tend to talk to themselves more. Doing so fills a need that is not being met through their other social interactions or friendships.

However, lonely people may engage in more negative self-talk (e.g., putting themselves down). Too much negative self-talk can be harmful, raising the risk of conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, or schizophrenia.

Benefits of Talking to Yourself

Talking to yourself can be a useful tool—especially if you utilize it to accomplish goals, process difficult situations, or improve your performance. One study found that positive self-talk helped with children's performance in math, especially when they doubted their abilities.

Researchers found that when the kids repeated positive affirmations to themselves and stated that they would put forth their best effort, it severed the connection between their negative beliefs and their performance and helped them achieve better scores.

Another study found similar results. Researchers observed people performing a particular task and found that those who read the instructions out loud or talked to themselves had better understanding and more positive results than those who read the directions silently.

Self-talk can also be beneficial for athletes, particularly beginners. In one meta-analysis, researchers noted that talking to yourself can help you learn new skills, perform better on accuracy tasks, and improve your abilities in areas that involve strength and power. Even sports that require endurance—like running, cycling, or swimming—may benefit from positive self-talk.

Positive vs. Negative Self-Talk

Self-talk can be negative or positive. With negative self-talk, you confirm and reinforce negative thoughts or beliefs about yourself or your situation. For instance, you may focus on your fears, worries, concerns, or even areas where you have failed or made a mistake.

This type of negative self-talk can have an unhealthy effect on your health and well-being, especially if you are particularly critical of yourself or tell yourself that you are worthless or unsuccessful. If you tend to engage in a lot of negative self-talk, therapy can help you learn to replace your negative self-talk or self-defeating beliefs with more positive affirmations and beliefs.

Meanwhile, positive self-talk involves a more upbeat or affirming inner dialogue. This self-talk can help you improve your attention, reinforce self-efficacy (your belief in yourself), and solve problems. It can improve performance and is often utilized in sports to help athletes perform to the best of their ability.

How To Manage Self-Talk

While there is some evidence that negative self-talk can sometimes motivate a person to change, most negative self-talk is detrimental to your mental health. If you find that you're frequently the target of a negative inner voice, here are some ways to silence that inner critic and develop a more positive internal dialogue.

Talk To Yourself in the Third Person

Researchers have found that motivational self-talk is especially helpful if you talk to yourself in third person. For instance, saying "You can do this!" seems to be more effective than saying "I can do this!" Not only does it reduce the amount of anxiety and stress you might feel, but it also creates social distancing from the challenge or problem you are facing.

Try Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a therapy technique that can be particularly useful in changing the way you think. The technique allows you to reframe negative thoughts and beliefs into more positive ones. Here are some examples:

Changing negative beliefs into more positive ones can help improve self-esteem, decrease stress, and make you feel more confident in difficult situations.

Focus on Gratitude

Sometimes the best way to reframe your thoughts or negative self-talk is to redirect them to something else—like focusing on gratitude. Talking to yourself about what you appreciate or are thankful for can move your focus away from the negative things may be experiencing or feeling.

Practicing gratitude can also help you develop resilience and improve your self-talk overall. Researchers note that giving thanks can be a form of mindfulness that helps slow down your brain activity and decreases intrusive thoughts.

Use Mindfulness Techniques

Self-talk can cause positive and negative effects, depending on what you're telling yourself. When combined with mindfulness techniques, you may be able to balance your self-talk and focus on the present rather than the what-ifs from the past or worries about the future. Mindfulness may include deep breathing, grounding techniques, or even yoga.

Name Your Negative Self-Talk

One study suggests that instead of resisting your negative self-talk, accept that it is there. Resisting the inner critic allows it to persist, but accepting it allows you to recognize it and do something about it.

Researchers suggest naming negative self-talk. When you start engaging in negative self-talk, recognize it, take a step back, and do not listen to what this inner critic has to say. Doing so, allows you to identify and ignore the negative self-talk and keep it from derailing you or your thinking.

When Does Talking to Yourself Become a Concern?

Although self-talk is normal for most people, it can become an issue if you are constantly bombarded with a negative internal dialogue. It can even be a sign that something is wrong. Negative self-talk is not always an obvious sign of a mental health condition, but it may raise your risk of developing one or worsen your current symptoms. Consider the following:

• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): People with OCD may experience intrusive thoughts or negative self-talk that cycles out of control or seems to run on repeat in their minds. For instance, they may worry that they are a bad person, an inadequate parent, or are undeserving of anything good. They also may fear shouting inappropriate things in public or worry that they have harmed someone.

• Schizophrenia: Sometimes excessive self-talk is a sign of schizophrenia. Some researchers believe that schizophrenia often causes difficulty controlling your inner speech or self-talk. These thoughts can also be accompanied by hallucinations, disorganized thinking, and delusions.

• Major depressive disorder: Negative self-talk is often a key characteristic of depression. For instance, it's not uncommon to experience feelings of worthlessness and helplessness when you're depressed. These feelings often stem from negative self-talk or self-blame.

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): People with PTSD often experience intrusive thoughts and negative beliefs about themselves or the world. This negative self-talk may also cause self-blame, guilt, and shame.

• Anxiety disorders: When someone has an anxiety disorder, they often engage in negative self-talk, particularly about the possibility of negative outcomes in the future.
  

When to Contact a Healthcare Provider

While harmful self-talk can sometimes be managed on your own with tools like mindfulness and cognitive restructuring, there are times when you need to get input from a mental health provider. This is especially true if self-talk interferes with your day-to-day life or causes you to lose confidence or self-esteem.

Self-talk is normal in most situations, but it also can be a sign of an underlying mental health condition. A healthcare provider can help you identify what is causing your symptoms and develop a plan to help you feel better.

A Quick Review

Talking to yourself is generally normal. Positive self-talk comes with great benefits like improving performance and boosting self-esteem. However, talking to yourself negatively can decrease confidence and raise your risk of mental health conditions like anxiety and depression.

Ultimately, the question is not whether you should talk to yourself, but how you should speak to yourself when you do.

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