How To Talk to Your Kids About Antisemitism — Whether They Are 8 or 18
Shortly after Hamas attacked Israeli citizens on October 7, antisemitic images and messages flooded social media — and for the first time in my life as a suburban mom in the northeast I was afraid to be Jewish. Worse, even, I was afraid for my children to be Jewish.
My fear was based in reality. Since October 7, antisemitic incidents, which were already on the rise, have surged. Preliminary data from the ADL (the Anti-Defamation League) reveals that these antisemitic incidents have increased by almost four hundred percent over the same period last year.
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“I feel we’re living in a very dangerous and threatening time,” Alvin H. Rosenfeld, Director of the Institute for the Study of Contemporary Antisemitism at Indiana University, told SheKnows. Antisemitism is “more vocal, more visual, more omni-present, and it’s more dangerous than it’s been for decades.”
Especially on college campuses, which have seen a significant uptick in antisemitic incidents and threats against Jewish students.
The stories are disheartening. The images, videos, and rhetoric around those stories are worse.
As parents who are raising the next generation, we have the power to make a difference by raising children who are against all forms of racism and hate. The first step is education.
What Is Antisemitism?
According to the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance, antisemitism is “a certain perception of Jews, which may be expressed as hatred toward Jews.”
It can be overt, but more often it’s subtle, hidden in stereotypes and tropes. In an interview with SheKnows, Rabbi Marc Katz identified a number of the most prominent antisemitic tropes. These include the belief that Jews have dual loyalty, that Jews are secretly in power and pulling strings behind the scenes, that Jews enjoy the bloodshed of non-Jews, and that Jews only care about money. He noted that often antisemitism is hidden in language and imagery — like when people compare Jews to Nazis or use Holocaust imagery: “People are using the greatest tragedy in Jewish history against us.”
Put simply, antisemitism is hatred or prejudice against Jews, and it’s not new.
“Antisemitism is old. It’s as old as the Jewish people,” says Dr. Shay Pilnik, Director of the Emil A. And Jenny Fish Center For Holocaust & Genocide Studies at Yeshiva University.
Antisemitism On College Campuses
Since Hamas’s attack on October 7, college campuses in particular have emerged as a hotbed of antisemitic activity.
The sudden prevalence of antisemitism on campus is “incredibly painful” to many Jewish students.
At Cornell, a student was recently arrested for threatening to assault Jewish students and threatening violence against the Center for Jewish Living, which houses the kosher dining hall. Likewise at Cooper Union in New York, a number of Jewish students inside a library became targets when a pro-Palestinian rally transformed into an “anti-Jew rally” according to a student involved in the incident, who told Washington Post reporters that protestors banged on windows and directed aggressive comments toward identifiably Jewish students.
The incidents are not just limited to students. A Stanford instructor was accused of forcing Jewish students to stand in the corner of a classroom ostensibly for educational purposes, and the Brandeis Center, a Jewish legal advocacy group, accused Columbia professors of making antisemitic statements both in class and on social media, and doing little to help Jewish students feel safe on campus.
The sudden prevalence of antisemitism on campus is “incredibly painful” to many Jewish students, notes Kathy Schwartz, EdD, RJE, Senior Director, Professional Learning at Jewish LearningWorks, noting that this generation of kids has always been open to the world and the idea of having multiple identities, and they are finding it challenging to be looked at only through one lens.
Talking To College Kids About Antisemitism — On Campus And Off
Given the surge of antisemitic incidents, there’s a good chance that most college kids — Jewish or not — have seen or heard something on campus. Parents need to stay involved, both to educate students and counter any stereotypes they may be exposed to.
Parents can begin the conversation by asking their kids what they’re seeing at school and on social media, says Katz. He encourages parents to address the things they have seen, and to think critically about it, especially if the rhetoric feels off.
From that jumping-off point, parents should help children identify the antisemitic tropes being exploited in the rhetoric. “If you can pull apart what was said and figure out if there’s a subtle trope embedded, even a dog whistle that’s antisemitic, then you can begin to address it,” says Katz.
And be patient, says Schwartz, who notes that “it takes a lot for young person to admit that they don’t know how to manage this.” Their questions can, and should, help lead the discussion.
Addressing Jewish Student Fears On Campus
It’s important to address students’ fears, too, particularly for Jewish students who may be unsure whether to wear something or participate in an organization or activity that is identifiably Jewish. Schwartz encourages parents to affirm with their own children who they are and that their identity is, and also respect that they may feel afraid.
“We want to be telling our young people that you should be fully who you are, and it’s okay to make choices if you’re scared,” says Schwartz. “Part of growing into adult is knowing that you’ll have to hold both of those dualities.”
Talking To Younger Kids About Antisemitism
When it comes to younger children, the conversation should look different. Since antisemitism is currently manifesting in heated rhetoric around Israel, Rabbi Katz encourages parents to start by asking if younger children have heard people talking about Israel, and then using that as a jumping off point to talk about what they are seeing and feeling.
Let kids, especially young kids, open the door to the conversation, and then be careful about answering more than they ask. “You don’t have to solve antisemitism in one conversation,” says Rabbi Katz. The most important thing is that kids “feel at ease, heard, and answered” in the conversation.
Jewish Parents And Non-Jewish Parents Should Approach The Conversation Differently
Not all conversations will look the same — even among children of the same age. For Jewish parents, the goal in talking to children about antisemitism is to instill confidence, to encourage them to be proud of their religion, and to be empowered when dealing with antisemitism, says Dr. Pilnik. He notes that for non-Jewish parents, the goal is slightly different. It’s to teach kids what not to do, how to not be antisemitic by parroting antisemitic tropes or rhetoric.
“It’s their responsibility … to call attention to the fact that Jewish friends and neighbors are more vulnerable to hostility than we have been in this country since the 1930s,” says Rosenfeld, and to be an ally to their Jewish friends.
It is up to us — the parents of the next generation — to stay informed and cut through the rhetoric.
Most people respond well to education about what is and isn’t antisemitic, what is and isn’t hateful, and will change their behavior or language, says Katz.
Schwartz echoed this sentiment and highlighted how important it is not to get caught up in social media. “Listen to other people’s stories, and don’t make assumptions about what one person believes because they belong to any particular group … really be in the humanity of it.”
Avoid Creating Anxiety Or Frightening Children
As important as it is to talk to kids about antisemitism, it’s also important not to frighten them. The goal is to educate, not to give them nightmares or create anxiety.
Especially with younger kids, parents should lead with the idea of safety, notes Katz, who warns parents about letting their own anxiety creep in and make the child afraid to be Jewish out in the world.
What is Anti-Zionism?
It’s impossible to discuss antisemitism without also discussing anti-Zionism — though they are not the same thing. “Anti-Zionism is opposition to Zionism, the movement for the self-determination and statehood of the Jewish people in their ancestral homeland, the land of Israel,” says the ADL’s definition. “Anti-Zionism is often expressed, explicitly or implicitly in the rejection of Jewish nationhood and the right to self-determination; the vilification of individuals and groups associated with Zionism; and the downplaying or negation of the historic and spiritual Jewish connection to the land of Israel.”
Anti-Zionism “goes beyond criticism of this Israeli policy or that Israeli leader, and really aims for the annihilation of the Jewish state as such,” explains Rosenfeld.
“Anti-Zionism is one manifestation of antisemitism,” explains Katz, who notes that speaking to kids about anti-Zionism requires nuance, a deep understanding of the history, and should look different for older versus younger kids.
For older kids, Katz suggests drilling down on the messaging they are seeing in anti-Zionist discourse to determine whether there are antisemitic tropes. Consider whether the rhetoric is fair, whether it’s taking shots at the Jewish community, and/or whether Jewish people are being held to a different standard than other groups of people.
For younger kids, focus on discussing with them what’s fair and not fair, and explaining why things are not fair.
Overarching Message For Parents
Antisemitism is overt, and also insidious. It’s as old as the Jewish people themselves, and it is a problem for more than just the Jewish people. It is a problem for anyone who wants a world governed by peace and acceptance of all, and it is up to us — the parents of the next generation — to stay informed and cut through the rhetoric.
“There is an overarching message,” notes Dr. Pilnik, which is that “when all is said and done, all human beings who are peace-loving and law-abiding need to be treated with respect. The antisemite is an enemy of humanity, like any other hater of any community.”
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