5 Tips for Handling a Bad Waiter

The number one complaint of restaurant diners is not the internal temperature of porterhouse, the crispness of fried calamari, or the martini's strength. Nor is it the soundtrack or banquettes color. It has nothing to do with food or décor. The top gripe among those who eat out is service.



As customers, how should we deal with poor service? (Hint: it has more to do with you than you think). Here are tips to dealing with that odd and mercurial species of restaurant employee known as The Server.

1. They're servers not servants. Smile. Be nice to them and they'll be nice to you.
That's my number one tip for good service. You'd be amazed how terribly some customers treat servers. Anyone who has ever been a waiter or waitress (a job everyone should be forced to try at least once) knows how much a customers' attitude can dictate their overall dining experience. And if you've ever snapped your fingers, whistled, or yelled to get the attention of a waiter, shame on you.

2. Not everything that goes wrong in a restaurant is the servers' fault.
Remember, they're just one cog in the wheel. The long wait for the food is most likely the kitchen's responsibility. Perhaps the host sat too many tables at once, which would explain why drinks are taking so long. So before you start mouthing off, remembers someone else may be to blame. Having said that, a good waiter will always apologize for delays and give you regular updates on the whereabouts of your food.

Related: What should you do when you're served bad wine?

3. One way to avoid bad service is to eat at the bar, a favorite tactic of restaurant insiders. The server/bartender never leaves your sight, which makes it really hard for them to ignore you.

4. If you do get a waiter-from-heck there are a few courses to take.
You can grin and bear it, take the abuse, and eventually show your displeasure where it hurts the server the most--the tip. (Some restaurants pool tips so just know your financial penalty might not have the effect you intend.) Another option is to pull the manager (or whoever looks like they are in charge) aside and let them know what's going on. Politely ask for another server. Management at any restaurant worth returning to will oblige. If they don't, leave and tell every person you know about the experience. No need to make a scene.

5. If all else fails, write the restaurant (or, more specifically, the owner) a letter explaining the situation.
During a busy service even the best restaurants have a difficult time addressing specific problems and issues. If you really want to be heard and, with any luck, improve the future dining experiences of others, it's best to put pen to paper a few days after the incident when you've had a few days to reflect on the experience. If it's a restaurant that cares about its reputation, its employees, and its customers, you'll most definitely hear back from them.

Related: Not sure how much to tip? The BA Foodist sets the record straight.

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