How To Talk To Your Kids About the News
Age-by-age guidance to easing the impact of news on kids
It's impossible to measure the impact of news on kids. But we know as adults that the 24-hour news cycle can distort and sensationalize the news, making it difficult to put into perspective for ourselves -- let alone our kids. For children, whose world views are mostly limited to their own experiences, the constant, relentless focus on specific news events makes them seem larger than life. As a result, kids may feel threatened, unsafe, fearful, and anxious.
With kids getting their information everywhere from the 5 o'clock news to Twitter, Facebook, and even feeds to their cell phones and email programs, the news may even take on the quality of entertainment, as everyone from political figures to rap artists weigh in.
As parents, it's our job to help kids, no matter what age, to feel safe. Depending on your kids' ages and temperaments, you can to talk about the images and content they see and hear. Having kids keep scared feelings to themselves can be more emotionally damaging than open discussion.
Here are a few guidelines to help you manage the news with your family:
For all kids:
Reassure your children that they're safe. Tell your kids that even though a story is getting a lot of attention, it was just one event, and was most likely a very rare occurrence. But remember that your kids will look to the way you handle your reactions to determine their own approaches. If you stay calm and considered, they will, too.
For kids under 7:
Keep the news away. Turn off the TV and radio news at the top of the hour and half hour. Read the newspaper out of range of young eyes that can be frightened by the pictures. Preschool children don't need to see or hear about something that will only scare them silly, especially because they can easily confuse facts with fantasies or fears.
At this age, kids are most concerned with your safety and separation from you. They'll also respond strongly to pictures of other young children in jeopardy. Try not to minimize or discount their concerns and fears, but reassure them by explaining all the protective measures that exist to keep them safe. If you're flying somewhere with them, explain that extra security is a good thing.
For kids 8-12:
Carefully consider your child's maturity and temperament. Many kids can handle a discussion of threatening events, but if your children tend toward the sensitive side, be sure to keep them away from the TV news; repetitive images and stories can make dangers appear greater, more prevalent, and closer to home.
At this age, many kids will see the morality of events in stark black-and-white terms and are in the process of developing their moral beliefs. You may have to explain the basics of prejudice, bias, and civil and religious strife. But be careful about making generalizations, since kids will take what you say to the bank. This is a good time to ask them what they know, since they'll probably have gotten their information from friends, and you may have to correct facts.
You might explain that even news programs compete for viewers, which sometimes affects content decisions. If you let your kids use the Internet, go online with them. Some of the pictures posted are simply grisly. Monitor where your kids are going, and set your URLs to open to non-news-based portals.
For teens:
Check in. Since, in many instances, they'll have absorbed the news independently of you, talking with them can offer great insights into their developing politics and their senses of justice and morality. It will also give you the opportunity to throw your own insights into the mix (just don't dismiss theirs, since that will shut down the conversation immediately).
Many teens will feel passionately about events and may even personalize them if someone they know has been directly affected. They'll also probably be aware that their own lives could be impacted by terrorist tactics. Try to address their concerns without dismissing or minimizing them. If you disagree with media portrayals, explain why so that your teens can separate the mediums through which they absorb news from the messages conveyed.
