Attachement parenting: If you're a mom and have time to read things other than the back of the Infant Tylenol bottle, chances are you've caught wind of the recent heated debate over attachment parenting. Erica Jong opened up a can of worms in the Wall Street Journal last month with a piece asserting that women have essentially become prisoners to their children because of an unrealistic, round-the-clock style of parenting that's doing more harm than good to the psyche of working moms who are literally unavailable to bond with their babies 24 hours a day.
In today's "Science of Kids" column on Babble, Heather Turgeon moves the debate away from Jong, who said as a single mom, she simple had no choice but to grab bonding moments where she could fit them into her work schedule instead of tucking her daughter in her side pocket and taking her with her every day, and she essentially resented being told she was worse off for it. Instead, Turgeon puts the focus back on the root of Jong's issue, which is William and Martha Sears' "The Baby Book," but says the tome doesn't actually assert that moms need be joined at the sling with their offspring in order for an attachment to form.
Basically, children become attached when they feel secure and loved. While devoting every waking moment to them is one distinctive path, it's not the only way to earn their trust and affection. Kids in daycare generally fare just as well as those who stay home instead. It's about the quality of the interactions, not necessarily the quantity. And when the bond is formed, it doesn't come unglued because you have to catch an earlier train the next morning to give a presentation downtown.
And there's another side to this coin, which I'm all too familiar with - moms like me who work from home avec enfant with little to no help.
For more on the science behind attachment parenting and how Strollerderby blogger Meredith Carroll decided how attached she should and could be to her baby, visit Babble.
MORE ON BABBLE:
Mommy Thumb: Why It Hurts to Pick Up Your Baby
Are Modern Mothers Lacking Support?
How Much Attachment Parenting Is Necessary?