As a psychologist and dating coach, I'm constantly asked the same questions by singles just like you, eager to make a love connection. Since everyone deserves to know how to solve the most common dating dilemmas, I'm sharing my secrets with you! Let's take a peek into my vault of dating-know-how so you can take your love life to the next level.
Question 1: If I'm So Awesome, Why Am I Still Single?
Let's get the most asked question out of the way first. If you're still single, there is only one culprit. Your "Attraction Equation" is out of whack! How you think, feel, and act combine to make you either a mate magnet or date repellent. So if you're all alone, you've got to do some deep soul searching and ask: Which of my attitudes, emotions, and/or actions aren't aligned to attract love? Then switch them out for some more magnetic qualities.
Question 2: How Do I Get a Cutie to Ask Me Out?
Ok, ladies, I know not everyone agrees with me, but here is what I believe. If you want something, go for it! In the groups I teach, I've discovered that a lot of guys are so burned by rejection that they would be grateful if you would make it a little easier on them by showing your interest. So, go ahead, approach a guy and make meaningful conversation to create a spark of curious interest. Ask him what he's passionate about and you'll immediately seem like a dream girl.
Question 3: Why Do I Keep Attracting Losers?
Here's a bit of brain science. Inside each of us is a "Love Map" that acts like a date radar. Based on your early relationships with your parents, this map hones in on what you unconsciously learned to expect in romance. And it always delivers a perfect match- to your map that is. So if you don't like what you attract, you've got to heal your radar to draw in healthier partners who can actually meet your needs.
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Question 4: How Do I Get a Guy I'm Not Interested in to Leave Me Alone?
Ladies, you're so afraid of hurting a guy's feelings that you are no longer willing to tell the simple truth! When you've decided that you aren't into someone, the kindest thing really is to offer a dose of reality using the "Goodbye Sandwich," sandwiching the hard truth between two positives. Something like, "You seem really great. And I can tell that we're not quite the right match. I'm glad we had a chance to talk and I'm sure you'll make another woman really happy soon!"
Question 5: How Do I Keep Dating When I'm so Bored, Frustrated, Rejected, Hopeless?
Dating is like a marathon, if you can just stay in the game, you'll eventually cross the finish line of love. But to keep dating despite repeated rejections and dead-ends, you've got to find a way to stay upbeat. Thankfully, a simple switch in perception can help you out. Every time something goes south, look for the gem of wisdom being offered about yourself, other people, or dating in general. By always mining your experiences for the positive- what benefit you got out of the interaction- you can constantly be growing and becoming a better person. Then you really can be sure that you'll end the dating race with a partner in tow!
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