Banish “I Love You, Too” + 9 More Relationship Commandments to Live By


By Jennifer Armstrong for HowAboutWe

Whether you've written them down or not, you probably have some relationship commandments of your own. What are yours? Send them to

1. There's no such thing as cold feet-if you don't want to marry him or her now, what makes you think you'll want to be married to him or her for decades to come?

2. Relationships are not for winning, which means there is no happily ever after. There is only whether you are good for each other now … and now … and now … You have to stay vigilant to stay in a good relationship.

3. Tell your partner the minute you feel angry, stifled, ignored, or neglected-if you don't, the resentment will only build, and build, and build. If you do, you'll likely both end up understanding each other better, having a good cry, or having a good laugh.

4. Don't fret about what you did "wrong" if you break up or are otherwise rejected. If they don't love you the way you are, there's no point.

5. In fact, anything causing too much trouble could be a sign that it's just not right. Nobody loses a truly good relationship just because they didn't follow the right self-help book advice or buy the right sexy underwear.

6. Banish "I love you, too." It should be a genuine expression, not a routine call-and-response, so make a deal with your partner: Whenever one of you says it, the other just acknowledges it with a kiss.

7. Announce when you need alone time, and accept when your partner does the same. It's just a fact of life, not an indictment of your relationship.

8. Announce your bad moods. It's better than snapping at your partner as if it's his or her fault.

9. Don't settle.

10. Have fun.