Bachelor Recap: Episode 9 is Bath Time for Baby Ben!

Why does this limo smell like tears?
Why does this limo smell like tears?

The first ten minutes of this week's episode we join Ben on a 10 hour journey to Interlachen Switzerland. It feels like 20 hours.

As we're dealing with airport stress, Ben's going off about the three women he's dating. He ends up recounting in detail each date he went on with each girl as if we weren't there the first time around.

Oh hey Ben. You're in 17a? I thought they couldn't get us seats together? No that's fine I was just going to get some shut-eye but...

What's that? I had my headphones in so I couldn't hear you.

You go save us some seats. I need to find the bar car.

I'm going to stop you right there. You know that's not the problem people have with her, right?

Hey look! Swans!

Um Ben? We're here. In Interlachen.

Can we please go check in to our hotel now?

Not zipped.

DATE 1: Nikki

I bet you've never been on a helicopter and then had a picnic lunch Interlachen.

"Ben, this is your captain speaking. Prepare to s--- your pants. Over and out."

When Ben gets scared his mouth gets blurry.

You guys here for the Whitesnake video shoot?
You guys here for the Whitesnake video shoot?

By the time the helicopter dropped Nikki and Ben off at the Poconos Resort and Lodge, the room with the champagne-shaped hot tub was already taken.

DATE 2: Lindzi

On today's' date: we'll be hanging from a cliff with nothing but a few different colored ropes holding us up.

Don't worry, this guy is here to help.

Ben's mad that this tub doesn't have any bubbles.

After a long day, Ben and Lindzi go to dinner but all we see is Ben's head from the chin up because of one unfortunate accessory he insisted on wearing.

You guys were supposed to get rid of that in post. Someone's getting fired.

Leg bomb.

DATE 3: Courtney

Let's get this straight: Ben helicopters to a mountain peak with Nikki and rappels down a cliff with Lindzi and he's just going shopping for groceries with Courtney? You can always tell when producers are trying to sway someone's decision with the help of endorphin releasing dates. This is not one of those dates. They didn't even pack them lunch.

They know about oranges here?
They know about oranges here?

Still, no matter what Ben does with Courtney, he seems to have a surprisingly good time. Like for example, when they buy fruit, his brain processes that as "Courtney is into learning about the culture of Switzerland."

How adorable is yeast when it rises?
How adorable is yeast when it rises?

Courtney picks this load of bread because it's "cute." I swear.

Producers tried to tell Ben that was actually an old up-side down butter churn filled with rain water, but he seemed so excited about it. Everything about this date was perfect for Ben except those three producers constantly drawing their finger across the neck and then pointing to Courtney.

After several hours and a few hundred bottles of wine, Courtney finally put all of Ben's worries to rest.
She admits she's not always perfect, and sometimes she's a little mean but whatever and also that she likes Ben because he's "normal. " Watch the least authentic statement anyone's ever made.

That's more than good enough for Ben. If anything, he feels bad for making her not talking in her high-pitched baby voice for a few seconds.


What is this now? That really nice girl who had her heart broken has been dragged back for a little more public rejection. We all know this isn't going to go well, but I've a hunch that wasn't how this trip to Switzerland was sold to her.

Ben's gets mouth blur at first.

But then he composes himself and graciously explains to Kacie B. and America why he doesn't want her. Mostly it's her parents, and the fact she's not Courtney.

Kacie B. collapses after that brutal wound is reopened. It's okay though. She needed closure and this second rejection really helped. Can she go home now please?

Not just yet. They're going to ask Ben one more time if he wants to be with her. She can go wait in her hotel room in a dress with her luggage packed and they'll slip a note under the door if he changes his mind.

In a heart to heart with Ben, Chris tries to trade Courtney for Kacie B.

Okay. We'll go find Kacie B. and remind her again that you don't like her.


Nikki got kicked off. Worse than that, somebody told her this rose ceremony was a toga party.

Courtney uses this downtime to practice dagger throwing with her eyes.

NEXT WEEK: "The Women Tell All" also known as " "Kacie B.'s weekly reminder that Ben didn't choose her."