If you love someone, do not, I repeat, do not present them with a Valentine's Day card like one of these. Unless they happen to be really into guns, being tied up, and/or cannibalism…then these very odd, totally creepy Valentine's Day cards will be RIGHT up their alley.
But in defense of these cards, it must be noted that they are all vintage examples. They all come from a time where images of kids with guns, or joking about suicide, or hitting a woman over the head with a bat didn't raise as many politically correct eyebrows as they would now. Some of them are odd by accident, others are just totally bizarre, no matter what era they are from.
Nothing says love more than the threat of cannibalism.
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Gun Toting Tot
His gun says "I Aim to Please You." Really, who would be pleased with a gun pointed at them?
Can You Say Stalker?
The card says, "You built a wall so fast and strong, but with my magic ray it won't last long!" Yeah, this just says stalker with secret powers to me.
Yes, it's just a banana, but a very phallic banana.
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Then you have the slave girl card. "I'll take Orders from you anytime!" Yeah, you wouldn't see any woman buying this card now-and-days.
The Worm May Turn
Wow. A total threat. "You'd better treat me right. Tho' you're the apple of my eye - there's others still in sight." Ouch.
Nothing says romance more than a full-on rash.
Related: 20 Valentine's Day gifts he'll never expect
Suicide Attempt Card
At least there was a happy ending.
The cow is saying "Love Me" and the message says "Can't I bring you to your knees too?" But the placement of the cowgirl, well that's just weird.
Eat Fuzzy Warms
Like who do you give this to? If you gave it to someone, it would just be so, so mean.
For 10 more totally creepy and odd vintage valentines, visit Babble
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