New Year, Same Old You?
By Lucy Danziger, Editor-in-Chief,SELF magazine, author,The Nine Rooms of Happiness
The new year is just 11 days old, and yet it already has a distinct personality: strong, and bright, economically speaking, yet cranky as a newborn, resolution-wise. Some people I know have successfully given up sugar, gotten to the gym most mornings and even paid off the holiday bills. Others, and this would include me, have had small victories like running (consistent workouts were never my problem) and some relapses, like the big Chinese dinner last night, the inhalation of chocolate in the art department last Thursday, and of course, the fact that I rarely get the amount of sleep I truly need.
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There are always going to be plenty of bumps on the road toward the new you that you crave to be. You won't find a straight line between here and there. One thing I know: You have to forgive yourself and move on. The stress and guilt over calories eaten and workouts missed is worse for your health than the actual calories themselves.
Here are a few of my strategies to stay the course and get through this month on track to becoming the new you that you want to be-when you look back next January, you'll say: This was the year I finally did it! I reached my personal goals!
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1. When you're tired, sleep. The first rule of thumb for all of us is that a tired machine is running on empty. If you need rest, the best idea is to get some shut-eye so you don't roam through the next day looking for alternate fuel sources, namely sugar. I don't get enough sleep (none of us do), but when I'm trolling for afternoon sweets I know I need to get to bed early tonight and sleep in a bit tomorrow, since my body is simply too exhausted to make the right choices and rev up to work out. Enjoy it: a guilt-free late morning, compliments of me.
2. Get out of bed after you are adequately rested and put on your gym clothes. I lay them out the night before (and even pack my "day wardrobe" bag if I am headed to a Spin class or the gym), so that I go straight into running tights, sneakers, fleece, mittens and a hat and head out the door to my run. The coffee maker is on and I drink half a cup before the exercise session and half after, and I fuel up with something like a half a banana, so I'm out there and awake enough to put one foot in front of the other but not awake enough to talk myself out of it. This is a great way to supercharge your day: You think, you breathe, you relax and you exercise (preferably to a favorite playlist), and when you're back and showering, there is simply nothing like knowing you did it!
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3. Think of the one thing you can do right now, in the next five minutes, to up your happiness. For me, it's bang out a blog entry or read a manuscript that is overdue or write the three thank-you notes that I haven't done yet, just to feel like I got something accomplished and can strike it off the to-do list. But my to-do list right now is longer than it should be. There's another bigger life list I also keep in my head: Plan a great trip with the family, save more money, give back to charity, find a memorable experience to share with someone who is closest to me-something I will always be able to remember with a smile. Looking back on last year, think of the moments that brought you the most joy. Now think about how to bring more of those moments into your life, on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.
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4. Laugh. This sounds trite as I write it but it's just the simplest, most important thing you can do every day. The workplace is an anxiety pressure-cooker? Tell a joke, make a self-deprecating or funny gesture, do something to cut the tension and enjoy the zaniness of it all. Because even in the most difficult of situations, it's important to realize we are all human, and that we work not only for a paycheck but also for a meaningful engagement in something bigger than ourselves. Keeping perspective, whether it's at home when the toddler throws her dinner on the floor, at work when meetings grind on, or after work when your spouse and you sit over a stack of bills, you have to understand that you can't always control what is happening around you but you can always control how you react. Try to find the humor or at least the humanity in it all.
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5. Focus on the good stuff, not the mess (this is a metaphorical mess). You can post your Mess of the Day at TheNineRoomsofHappiness.com, and Dr. Catherine Birndorf, SELF's happiness expert and my coauthor, can help you think about it in a new, productive way. In fact, this time of year, your emotional house may be neat or strewn with clutter, but when you think about it, you have much to be thankful for (we all do) even when the day-to-day messes feel like they rob your happiness in every single room. Want to lose weight? The bathroom scale may feel as if it follows you into every other space: the living room with friends (does she think I look fat?) and the bedroom (not in the mood for sex since I'm not feeling sexy!) etc. Instead, close the door on the bathroom (leave the scale inside) and think about the places that are joyful: the family room where you are loving your visit from your grown sibling, and so on. If there's a mess, you can come back later and clean it up. But right now, take time to think about the things that bring you the most positive feelings and use those to "bring you up" in what's called a parallel process, where you allow the ripple effect of good to move across the areas of your life that need a little positivity today.
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