'Survivor 46's Bhanu Gopal Says the Yanu Tribe Has a "Lack of Empathy"

Bhanu Gopal

Survivor 46 is here! Every week, Parade.com's Mike Bloom will bring you interviews with the castaway most recently voted off of the island.

Bhanu Gopal is synonymous with heart. Not only was his ultimate plan in Fiji to win a million of them, but it also was the sole determiner of every part of his game. The IT quality analyst wore his heart on not only his sleeves, but an entire shirt, which quaintly read, "Be Kind." Unfortunately for Bhanu, Survivor was not kind to him. After nine days of copious breakdowns, accidentally exposing his allies' games, and many prayers above, his game was sent below.

Days before starting the season, Bhanu told me, "Backstabbing doesn't come naturally to me. It really hurts me." That may be the understatement of Survivor 46 so far. Despite Bhanu being in his element in the jungle, having grown up impoverished in India, he was quite the opposite when it came to strategy. His exuberance and passion cut both ways, as his inability to lie to both the players and even Jeff Probst himself put him on the outs of the tribe as an untrustworthy ally. Nowhere was this shown more at the second Tribal Council he attended, where, after going on an emotional rant in response to a critique that he was too emotional, he proceeded to start whispering to everyone worried he was the boot, only for him to have never been the target in the first place.

Bhanu had made the block hot for himself with his actions. And though players like Q Burdette were trying to cool him down in the hopes of taking him further, he continued to turn up the heat. When Bhanu was picked for a journey, feeling like the writing was on the wall, he opened up way too much to his competition, revealing the inner dynamics of the tribe. Bhanu got that "miracle" he was asking for in the sudden medevac of Randen Montalvo. But any momentum the dancer had immediately halted when he admitted what he had incidentally spilled to the others. When Yanu once again lost immunity, Bhanu had one last spiral for the road, searching in vain for the idol and even begging on his knees for protection. But the grieving of his Survivor game ultimately came around to acceptance. He finished Tribal Council as he started it: Talking openly about who was going to go, and how his tough past informed why he wanted to come onto the show.

Now out of the game, Bhanu talks with Parade.com about the five stages of grief he underwent during his last day in the game, why he opened up so much at Tribal Council and the journey, and what the audience response has been like to his eventful journey.

Related: Read our Survivor 46 pre-game interview with Bhanu Gopal

Let's start with where things ended for you. After the challenge, we were treated to this sequence of you basically going through the five stages of grief with your game. We saw you initially in denial, searching for an idol that wasn't there. In anger, you asked God why he put you on Survivor if you were set up to fail. You bargained with Tiffany, quite literally begging on your knees. You ultimately came to a form of acceptance before Tribal Council. How true to life was that to your headspace that afternoon?
You summed it up, Mike. That afternoon was definitely all of those emotions. Because I was like, "Can I convince them to keep me in the game?" I just want to backpedal a little bit. When I told Tiffany, about and Q about the journey, I want to be open and honest with them. Because what if on Day 8, they go on a journey and find out that I got so emotional and said something about the tribe from other tribes. Rather than that, I was like, "Hey, Tiffany and Q, this is what I said. But if you keep me in the game, I'm being as open and honest with you. I'm going to be your ride or die. We will get to the merge. And we will be in the Final Three."

Because you'll see me in the challenges, Mike. After 10 shoulder dislocations and one major surgery just a few months before the show, I was competing right next to Q, who is a professional player. I did not even whimper. I did not even say, "Oh my god, I can't play." No, I was right next to Q doing exactly what he's doing. Doesn't it [say] how much is this game mean to me? I will give my all for this game. And that's what you've seen. Strategic wise, my strategy was just be honest with the team. Once I get to the merge, no one can stop me.

What was your plan if you got to the merge? Let's say Yanu continues to win out after the Reward Challenge. To your point, you wanted to be loyal to Tiffany and Q. But you also did think of them all as "masterminds" who may stand in your way to the end.
I was thinking that I can work with Q and Tiffany. Because they are the challenge beasts, but also have them as targets as much as I can. I was thinking many scenarios, coulda, shoulda, woulda. But it didn't happen. But I was like, "Okay, if I get to the merge, then for the individual Immunity Challenges, I can do it."

Speaking of the merge and the other tribes, we have to talk about what you did on the journey. Because when you admitted to Tiffany and Q what you said to Ben and Liz, it almost seemed like you didn't know how much of an impact you had made. So were you purposely telling them about what was going on in your tribe?
So what happened was after just Jess gone, we were like, "Okay, probably we will go ahead and win this challenge. And maybe I can see a glimmer of hope." But that didn't happen, because we lost again. And I was always on the outs. So we lost again, and I was so emotional and raw because we just lost another major challenge. I get to the island. And there was no way for me to get it out of my system. Because even on the Yanu tribe, when I cry or anything, they were like, "You're too emotional, you're too weak," or something like that.

So I was like, "Okay, I can't do that on the tribe." So I just need to get it out of the system. When I saw Ben and Liz, I was like, "Dude, this is what's happening. We've lost again. And it seems like I'm going to go home." I didn't think, "Okay, what I'm saying or doing will impact the game moving forward." I just wanted to get it out of my system. And that's exactly what I did. And I was just honest, as you see.

How much did losing your vote on the journey--and your Shot in the Dark by proxy--affect the way you approached pitching yourself?
Well, your vote is everything in Survivor. Once you lose your vote, you've got nothing. Losing your vote, then the challenges, there is no way to hide. You need someone [like a] ride or die, who can going to help you take you forward in the game. I don't have that. I'm not in the in the group of three. I lost my vote, lost the challenge. There is no way for me to hide. And that's the reason why I was trying to work with them and say like, "Hey, I wanted to be honest with you, and this is what happened. But just give me that one chance and I'm going to prove it to you all that I'm going to work with you all and you can trust me so we can just move forward."

You mention how you didn't have a ride or die on Yanu. We did see you talk a lot with Q the past couple of episodes. And even Kenzie the "mermaid dragon" served as an emotional support system for you. Who were you closest with out there?
Actually, the one thing I want to tell you is that I'm very close to Jess. Jess is like my sister. She's like my best friend on the Yanu beach. There were certain moments me and Jess have shared which fans didn't get to see. But she's my sister. And I was so sad that, in the second challenge, I yelled her name. And I apologized to Jess. And we were all yelling at each other. But that wasn't cool. And I apologize to Jess. And the fans of Jess, I apologize to you all, and I hope you forgive me for that.

What about of the three Yanus who were left when you were voted out. Did you feel particularly close to any of them?
I would say I was talking to Q a lot after after the Jess vote. But, again, what happened was my there was no coordination, no proper communication, lack of empathy. That's what it is. Coordination, communication, lack of empathy is the reason why Yanu kept losing. When we lost, we just didn't sit as a tribe and be like, "What are we doing wrong? Where are we going wrong? Let's let's talk as a tribe." There were no heartfelt conversations.

And when you're distant from your family and friends you're somewhere in the Fijian jungle with some strangers you're just trying to know and become friends with, if they set you aside, that takes a toll on you. And that's what you've seen. There's no one to talk to, no one who can empathize with. And when we lost, there was no  communication to say, "What are we doing wrong? Let's sit and think, calm ourselves." That's not there. So coordination, communication, and a calmness.

Well let's talk about perhaps the exact opposite of calmness and go to your behavior at Tribal Council. Did you expect to be as open and "make the block hot" as you did?
Mike, I need to say this. Communication is something which is I struggle with. Because in the communication style I grew up with, I grew up in India. Only 10 years ago, I moved to the US. And there are certain expressions and certain words, which I'm not familiar with. Because as a as a native speaker, there is a subtlety with which you say a certain words--maybe that could be a code word--the native speakers would understand. I don't have that ability.

So when when I say I can speak English fluently, I don't have a problem with that. But there are like certain expressions, which the native speakers know which someone who learned English as a second language wouldn't. That's where I was. And when I'm in front of Jeff Probst! I cannot lie to my guru. I respect him. And so much the reason why I'm on the show is because of Jeff Probst. And when he asked me a question, I was like, "Oh, this is what it is." [Laughs.] And I am being honest and open about it, and not even thinking. So that's what you saw. [Laughs.]

What I found so interesting was that Q is giving you these lessons in this episode about how to be more coy in Tribal Council. But you also say at one point that you feel you are being trained to become more mechanical and a "puppet." So, even though you're getting taught how to be a better player, did you feel like they were trying to tamp down on a certain part of your personality?
I didn't want to remove the Bhanu aspect of how I played the game. Because, Mike, I'm a super fan of the show. I watched every episode of every season. When I watched the show, and when I see all these different players, I felt like that's not how I want to play. Why is there is only one way of playing the game? Why can't we play an honest game? I want to try! Am I a failure? I read a quote saying that, "You are not a failure if you have tried." So there you go. I wanted to play a Bhanu game. I want people to see people who play Survivor, they can be honest. I don't want people to get scared scared because of, "Oh my god, he's on Survivor and he could be conniving and all of that." No. I want to bring the human aspect, and that's what you've seen.

And, Mike, I want to tell you this story. Last night after my vote off, a fan messaged me and said that when when they were watching the show, her seven year old daughter turned to her and was like, "Mom, why are they voting Bhanu off? All he wanted was a million hearts, not a million dollars." Mike, you have children, right?

I do. I have a four-year-old son.
Yes. If your children turns to you and say that, isn't that something? Don't you think I've succeeded in that? Just think about as a father, your son or your daughter turn to you and saying, "Why are they voting Bhanu off? He doesn't want a million dollars. He wants a million hearts." I want that little girl's heart. That means more to me, Mike. I grew up on streets. Only 10 years ago, I moved to the US. I know the real value of money.

And when people say, "Oh, if you don't want to win $1 million, why are you on the show?" Money is not about everything. Money's not the end all be all. I want to be on the show because I'm representing the people from my country. I'm representing the people of color. And I'm representing people of the queer community. I'm representing people with English as a second language, I'm representing so many things. I want them to see that Bhanu could do it. If Bhanu can get himself out of poverty, from all the abuse I've gone through. The physical abuse, the sexual abuse for many, many years. The emotional abuse, the verbal abuse. But still get a college degree, get a job in the US and now becoming a proud citizen of this country and get to be on Survivor. I feel like I've succeeded in life.

I've gone through life with honesty, hard work, and being humble. Because growing up on streets, that's what it is. So when I was on Yanu, my mind went back to me being on streets, because that's how I was being in the rain and everything. So when I saw my tribemates, I was like, "Oh my god, you guys are my family. I can't lie and backstab. Let's play the game together." So Survivor kind of shook the the original Bhanu, and that's what the super fans have seen. I'm so sorry that I didn't play the game you envisioned Bhanu to play. But I played the game I came to play.

Next, check out our interview with Randen Montalvo, who was eliminated in the Survivor 46 Episode 3.