'Survivor 43's' Nneka Ejere Recaps Her "Lying Crisis" on the Island

The pharmacist also talks about her regrets being put into the mom role, as well as her segment talking about the mission she supports back in Nigeria.

At long last, Survivor 43 has arrived! Every week, Parade.com's Mike Bloom will bring you interviews with the castaway most recently voted off of the island.

Nneka Ejere's Survivor journey is all about family. The pharmacist got into (and eventually onto) the show because of her children's interest in it. And when she got onto the island, she found herself becoming mother once more to a much more unruly group of kids. But despite those familial feelings, when push came to shove, even her tightest allies came around to her being a liability. And so the pharmacist was given a prescription for 10 mg of Blindside.

Nneka came into the game wanting to challenge the lying and blindside that has become necessary over the past 20 years of Survivor. She ended up finding a kindred spirit in Cody Assenmacher, and Jesse Lopez quickly bonded with her as an island mother. That trio became the early prevailing force on Vesi, whether it was them working together to swindle beads to build Cody's idol, or protecting Nneka when she was targeted by the duo of Justine Brennan and Noelle Lambert. But Nneka's puzzle skills (or lack thereof) unfortunately began to precede her. When Vesi went to their second Tribal Council in a row, Nneka was confident everyone was against Noelle, especially after she spent the afternoon away from camp. But fearing a third trip to TC, the rest of the tribe chose to get rid of Nneka, ending her mission to aid her mission.

Now out of the game, Nneka talks with Parade.com about how she reacts to being voted out as the weakest member of her tribe, her preseason comments about not wanting to lie in the game, and getting to showcase the mission she was playing for.

Related: Read our Survivor 43 pre-game interview with Nneka Ejere

You said last night in your Final Words that you had no negative emotions. Now that you got to watch back your Survivor experience and see your blindside all over again, is that still the case?
(Laughs.) For real, there are no negative feelings. I thought it was a great episode. Seeing the looks on my tribe's face when I left, I know it was a hard vote. I see why. So, no, there are no negative feelings. Vesi LIVIN!

It was clear you were surprised to go over Noelle. What made you so confident that she would be the one voted out?
So Noelle was away on the journey. And something I will say I tried to make sure not to do was lead the vote. Can you influence it? Yes. But you don't want to lead it. So yes, there was a call like, "Hey, can we agree that this is what we're doing?" It seemed really, really easy to me. I'm like, "This is too easy." But, I also knew I had a strong tribe, a strong alliance.

So did they give any indications at the time that it would be different? No. Did I think it was too easy? Yes. Especially when I know that we're going to Tribal back to back. Did I kind of find any hints that this may not be going right as we were leaving for Tribal? Yes. But going into this game, I also wanted to be that person who didn't want to be scrambling last minute. If you have a solid plan, it's a plan you should have started building a while ago.

So what were those hints you saw that the vote might not be going your way?
There were conversations still being had. And if we've decided we're going to do this, why are these conversations going on? I also understand Noelle came back from the journey and she barely had enough time to do anything before we left for Tribal. I understand those conversations going on. But also no new conversations were being had before she got back. Secondly, at the time, you have that unsettling feeling that I just decided to squash down. Thirdly, when we were leaving, Noelle took her bag. But a whole bunch of her stuff was left behind. And I'm like, "Huh, okay." But I just believed that we'll stick to the plan. I mean, many times kind of going in, that's just what you have to do.

Noelle came back from the journey and swore up and down she didn't get anything. Did you believe her, and did that impact you planning to boot her, knowing she may have an advantage?
When she said, "Hey, I didn't come back with anything," I will say I was kind of indifferent to that. I did not expect her to come back and say the truth. But at that point I felt, "Okay, this is an assurance we made. We're good. We're gonna go this way." It was kind of late in the cycle with the timing to start making any big changes.

You were voted out because you were seen as the weakest performer in challenges on the tribe. How do you react to that perception?
Jesse and I were on that last puzzle together. Did I put myself in a position to take most of the heat for it? I think I did probably with my comment to say, "Guys, I feel like I let you down." I should have said something to take at least half the heat. But it was a personality flaw--maybe not a flaw in some way, a flaw in Survivor--of taking accountability and not lying about it. The other hand also to when you're doing a puzzle like that you're barely doing that puzzle alone, because everyone's yelling, "Do this. Don't move that." I felt like we started well, but there were a lot of interruptions going on.

On the other puzzle, the snake puzzle, it was Dwight and I. The thing is, the last puzzle I picked because I was not going to jump off that platform. (Laughs.) But with the other two, I did not want to do the puzzle, but no one else wanted to do the puzzle on the tribe. So they were like, "Please go do it. We believe in you." And then with the last one, I said, "Yeah, okay, I think I'll pick the puzzle this time." (Laughs.) Because I knew there were stronger swimmers on the tribe, it was the sensible thing to do. I should have highlighted these puzzles were not done alone, it was teamwork. I always had a partner. Why did those people not take accountability for it as well? That was something I should have done a better job at.

Let's talk about your relationships on Vesi. Cody ended up being your closest ally. What caused you two to click together so quickly?
Coming in, Justine and NOelle clicked right away. And I understand that; I could see that they had so many things in common. And then at that point, I was like, "What's the next wisest thing to do?" Cody and I connected. As much as I did not want to take up the mom role, we were kind of like the mom and pop of the tribe. But as close as Cody and I were, I felt that, in the game, Jesse had more influence over Cody. Even though everybody was like "Nneka Cody," I was like, "We may not be all that." But I was good with playing along with that.

On that note with Jesse, we saw him express his difficulty in voting you out, comparing you to his late mother. Were you aware he saw you that way?
Jesse and I had a lot of good moments and good conversations on the island. Jesse's story touched my heart in so many deep ways. And it was such an honor to hear him say that last night. I was a crying mess last night. (Laughs.) Because I know how very highly he thinks of his mom. So to hear him make that comparison, that just blessed me in so many ways. There were a few things that we shared; we found similarities in conversations. But it was a blessing to hear him say that.

I feel like we saw a fair amount of you and Dwight together last night, whether it's you doing his hair or talking to him about the difficulty in voting out Noelle. What was your relationship with him, considering he's the same age as your children?
So o be clear, I was very hell-bent on not going in and being the mom on the tribe. On a game like Survivor, nobody needs your mother there. Anybody that can make it on that show does not need their mother. (Laughs.) I felt like it would be disrespecting people's game and what they bring to the table by coming to trying to mother them while on the show. But Dwight and I clicked because, yes, Dwight and my daughter are very close in age. So you find that, yes, he's an adult and wants to do his thing. But there was also something endearing about that. And Dwight had the coolest afro! Leave that alone. I just wanted to get my fingers in it, and he let me. (Laughs.) 

Well, the final piece of the Vesi puzzle is Noelle. You talked about difficult it was to vote for her and being inspired by her story. But she also voted for you during the last Tribal Council. How difficult was it to weigh all that up?
I will say one big shock going on Survivor was I just did not really realize how much I would care about the people on my tribe. That was a shocker to me. Noelle my name down. I was not offended by it. It makes sense. She was in an alliance with Justine; it's just part of gameplay. And Noelle tried to do damage control right after the Tribal Council, even though that was not shown. But I respected the decision. 

Noelle did a fantastic job. Just watching her jump off the platform, taking off her prosthetic. I will never forget that. I was just shouting my lungs out at that point. And knowing she did that, and then you have turn around and vote this person, that was tearing me up. Just watching it last night, it was emotional again. Don't get me started. (Laughs.) I will say I grossly underestimated was the emotions that come with the game. I's one thing to shut it down and go into the game knowing, "Look, I'm not here to build any deep-rooted relationships." But when you open your heart to get those things done, it's real.

In the preseason, you told me, "Even though the game is one where people very easily resort to lying and cheating and backstabbing, I see myself challenging how that is played and going with the opposite of that." What made you take that approach, and were you able to stick to that in the game?
I chose that because it's a huge chunk of who I am. I wanted to challenge how the game was played. Yes, the game is to outwit. But outwitting is showing superior wisdom, not necessarily lying. So I was like, "How can you do that?" So that was the challenge I went in with. And yes, it tied my hands in so many ways. But it was also a journey. It was a challenge to say, "How well can I stick to this?"

To start the game, I realized that from the very first conversation. We arrive at our tribe, I had my first lying crisis. Everyone's like, "Oh I'm twenty-this." And I'm like, "Girl, you can pull off 33." (Laughs.) And at that point, I'm like, "This game is not even how many minutes old and I am having a crisis." So it was a constant watch. But then I will say I didn't think through having to come back and say, "If I betray someone, is that lying?" If I give my word to Cody, and turn around and do something to Jesse, would that be lying? So it was having to have all of those conversations and realize that, yes, maybe Survivor cannot be played liked that. (Laughs.) As far as I'm concerned right now, I definitely do not think it's possible. So, yes, if I were to play it again, it will be very different. (Laughs.)

Lastly, you got the opportunity in the episode to highlight the mission you were supporting back in Nigeria. How do you reflect on the ability to tell that story and have that reach so many different eyes?
I'm just grateful to the show to for how it was shown and partnering with me there. Yes, if I had won, 50% of the check would have been going that way. But either way, I love the awareness that they bring to them. I set up a GoFundMe. The link is on my Instagram to just say, "Hey, this is what's going on. These people were my heart behind this." And to see what they go through each time and still stay encouraged, doing everything that can be done to keep these children safe, even in the long term. Not just keeping them fed, educated, and all of that today, but for the future. These are people who are taken from the wrong end and put on the right side of society to move the nation forward. That's a huge impact.

Next, read our interview with Justine Brennan, who was voted out in Survivor 43 Episode 2.