The Surprising Reason J.Lo and A-Rod Are a Perfect Match

From Oprah Magazine

• During an interview with Power 105.1 FM's The Breakfast Club, Jennifer Lopez said her and Alex Rodriguez's similar work ethic is key to their relationship's success.

• "I have never been with somebody who grinds the way I do," she said.

• Relationship expert Rachel A. Sussman explains why that trait is critical.

How real is Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez’s love for one another? Apparently, we can expect these two to stand by each other for a while.

In a recent interview with Power 105.1 FM's The Breakfast Club, Lopez-who just shut down rumors that her new fiancé has cheated-said their work ethic is what makes their relationship...well, work. "I have never been with somebody who grinds in the way I do, on that level, where I’m like, ‘You’re driving me crazy! You need to slow down!’ Never have I said that to anyone, because I work on a level that’s fueled by such passion that it’s never enough for me,” she said. “But he’s like that too, that’s probably why he’s one of the best of all time.”

Work ethic may not sound like the sexiest attribute to look for in a significant other. What about, you know, chemistry, or a love of family? However, it turns out respecting your partner’s professional drive can seriously impact a relationship.

According to Rachel A. Sussman, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert based in New York, honoring such similarities is important. “The more a couple has in common, the greater the likelihood that their relationship is gonna work out,” Sussman tells OprahMag.com.

“Sometimes you get someone who is super into their career, and a partner who isn’t, and one person often ends up resenting the other,” Sussman explains. “I’ve had a lot of celebrities in my practice, and they lament on how hard it is to find a partner. They like dating someone else in show business, because there are inherent issues that they understand-however, they’re weary they can get competitive of each other.”

Sussman says that for work-driven couples like Lopez and Rodriguez, the secret is to carve out pockets of time for each other. “They’re both kind of workaholics, so instead of shaming each other about it, they accept it about each other, which helps them accept it about themselves. The important questions to ask are: How do we balance this? When do we actually see each other?”

Lopez explained that there’s no competition professionally between them, and that Rodriguez fully supports her. "We love each other, we do. We have a lot of love and respect and admiration for each other and that is so nice. I've never been with somebody who lets me be the full shine J.Lo of all of my self and all the sides of me. That makes me really happy," she said during the Breakfast Club interview.

According to Sussman, research shows that couples have to have a certain amount of intimacy and must spend enough time together to ultimate sustain the relationship. “When are they just Jennifer and Alex?” she says, suggesting they sometimes shed the celebrity facade and focus on activities that remind them of their love.

“The secret sauce is respecting each other, being kind to each other, communicating openly, and finding the time to let the other know, ‘Hey, I’m a fan of yours, I think you’re terrific,” Sussman says. She recommends couples with packed schedules like theirs make small gestures like picking up something that reminds them of their partner at the grocery store, or working with a concierge to deliver a sweet gift upon check-in during a business trip.

Sussman also points out that while Lopez and Rodriguez do love to work, the fact that they’ve blended their families together by choosing to raise their children with each other is a good sign.

“Although a lot of the focus of their interviews is how driven they are, I’d like to think they also cherish family time, which gives me hope,” she says.

“Nothing is perfect, and the best relationship will have highs and lows. If you just prepare yourself for that and tell yourself 'We have a really strong backbone' and no matter what, stay connected, that couple has a good likelihood of succeeding,” Sussman says.

Sounds like that’s exactly what J.Lo and A-Rod have done.

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