The Surprising Etiquette Rules British Royals Must Follow
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If you’ve ever watched a movie where an ordinary person suddenly becomes a princess, you know she has LOTS of rules to learn about how to act like one. Fiction aside, there’s still certainly a lot of formal etiquette followed by British royal family members that anyone outside the family would have to learn, so here we give you a guide to royal etiquette, answering questions about how a person from the general public should act when meeting a royal (what should you say to them, if anything? Should you curtsy or bow?), plus how royals conduct themselves in the daily affairs (how should they hold a teacup? How do they sit?).
Parts of this etiquette follow rules, while others more generally share lessons such as watching your posture and paying attention to the level of formality. And, like the royal family themselves, their etiquette is also evolving and modernizing, no matter which of their homes they're visiting for holidays or other occasions. “You’ll see the younger royals using more technology and being very approachable and very accessible and wanting to connect,” says Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette. “They are very open minded and more in tune with modern practices.”
To answer all of our royal etiquette questions, we turned to the expertise of Meier, who teaches an online course on royal etiquette called The Duchess Effect and who also covers the topic in her etiquette book Modern Etiquette Made Easy. Here’s what she had to say.
What should you do—and not do—when meeting a royal?
Most importantly, always wait to be introduced. Never extend a hand to a royal, but instead wait for them to extend a hand and then you can follow suit after you are introduced to them.
Do you bow or curtsy when you meet a royal?
It depends on where you are from. If you live in the United Kingdom, it is not mandatory, but the formal greeting for a royal is a bow or curtsy, depending on your preference. If you are not a citizen of the United Kingdom, you are not expected to bow or curtsy, but it is welcomed.
How do you greet a British royal?
The current reigning British royal (currently King Charles, formerly Queen Elizabeth) and their spouse are the only members of the royal family that should be addressed as “your majesty.” All other greetings vary by member of the royal family. According to the royal family's website, other members of the British royal family should be addressed as “your royal highness.”
What should you wear when meeting a royal?
You want to mirror the environment and formality of the setting and event, erring on the side of dressing more formally and conservatively to show respect. Some forms of dress vary by country. For instance, in the United Kingdom, morning dress is day formal attire, but the U.S. does not observe it.
For royals, any event after 6 p.m. is formal, and tiaras are typically only worn by married people at formal, black-tie or white-tie events. If you are ever unsure of how to dress at an event you are invited to where royals will be present, you can ask the organizer for recommendations; typically they have cards with this information but do not send them to everyone to be cautious not to offend any recipient.
When should you eat—and not eat—when a royal is attendance?
The general rule of thumb is that once the most VIP royal in attendance finishes eating a course, everyone in the room finishes.
“If you are at an event with King Charles and he puts down his soup spoon, that means everyone also should finish in the next minute or two,” Meier notes.
Can you get a photo taken with a royal?
Meier’s general rule of thumb is to only let the formal photographer at the event take any photos of you, but she does also note that you often see less formal pictures and even selfies of the younger royals.
How do members of the royal family greet one another?
It all depends on the formality of the situation. “You might see the Princess of Wales curtsy to King Charles and Queen Camilla, but in other less formal occasions you see them give cheek kisses,” Meier says. In the U.K. that’s two kisses, right cheek to right cheek. (In the U.S. it’s one kiss, and in other parts of Europe it’s three kisses.) In a formal setting, members of the royal family formally introduce and address one another, even to their parents or in-laws as a sign of respect.
How do members of the royal family sit and stand?
Meier has given unofficial names for the positions you often see royals sitting and standing in. For all of the sitting poses where women are wearing skirts and dresses, they keep their knees and ankles together, don’t sit all the way back in the chair, keep their heels facing down, and do not use the arm rests since doing so tends to break posture.
In the “Cambridge Cross” often used by the Princess of Wales (formerly known as the Duchess of Cambridge), ankles are crossed and heels stay on the floor, while the “Sussex Slant,” often used by the Duchess of Sussex, one leg is crossed over the other and their knees are slanted in one direction
Are there any words the royal family is not allowed to say?
“I wouldn’t say there’s any no no list of any words they are not allowed to say,” Meier says. “They are each trusted as members of the royal family to say things that are appropriate. They are each so well educated and well informed.” The only topic traditionally avoided by working royals is that they never address politics.
How do royals dress?
Royals buy their own clothes within a budget and work with stylists and aids to do so. Generally, they dress formally and to the dress code. With business attire, they cover their shoulders and often wear stockings and closed-toe shoes.
Even Prince George, who is 10, wears a tie. When they visit other countries, often royals will wear pieces by designers from that country or culture. For instance, the Princess of Wales often wears a Canadian maple leaf piece that was the queens when she visits Canada.
How must royals enter a room?
Meier says the event would determine the protocol of who enters the room first and why, but she also notes that there always is a carefully pre-calculated (and sometimes practiced) protocol for each event, including where everyone sits and who greets and introduces whom.
How do royals hold a teacup?
Per formal etiquette, when standing royals hold a teacup with the saucer, but when they are sitting, they just pick up the teacup and leave the saucer on the table. The hand of the teacup faces 3:00 (if you are looking down over the teacup), you stir from 12:00 to 3:00 only, and you always put the hot liquid in the teacup before a cold one. When holding the cup, your pinky finger should always be held in, not out.
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