The Sunday Scaries Are Real, and Here's the Cure
Whether you call it the Sunday scaries or the Sunday blues, the feeling is the same: That creeping sensation of low-grade dread that looms on the evening before your return to the weekly grind. Like a tiny demon that floats in every seven days to perch on your shoulder and whisper "Monday is coming!" in your ear, the Sunday scaries can even keep you up at night, wishing a time machine could take you back to Saturday morning.
It's a common affliction: In a September 2018 LinkedIn survey, 80% of professionals reported experiencing the Sunday scaries. I can definitely relate. I don't hate my job—it's pretty much my dream job, in fact—and yet, as the weekend winds down, the following day still feels like a pirate's plank I'll be forced to walk off of in less than 12 hours. Wouldn't it be incredible if we could all stop going through this on a regular basis? Here, two experts explain how to get rid of the Sunday scaries—or, at least, how to fight The Fear when you feel it bubbling up—and why it happens in the first place.
What causes the Sunday scaries?
This probably won't surprise those who work Monday to Friday: The simple answer is that the weekend was your time, spent with friends, family, or happily by yourself, and you're devastated that it's nearly over.
"It's such a dramatic difference sometimes, when you have your own free time over the weekend and you're doing whatever you want," says Nancie Vito, a certified life coach and public health professional with a focus on burnout prevention. "It's fun and relaxing—and then you stop and think, "Oh, wait, tomorrow it all ends." Vito has seen this manifest as "an overall feeling of nervousness" or out-and-out anxiety in clients.
Roberta Marin, LMHC, a psychotherapist practicing in New York, adds that this can be true no matter how good our days off actually were. "In a way, it has a lot to do with the concept of how we use time, and how we experience it," she says. "On one hand, if a weekend was a lot of fun, we don't want it to end and mourn the end of our time off. But if the weekend didn't live up to our expectations, we oftentimes experience a sense of regret. Either scenario can make us dread the week ahead."
There's an external factor at work, too, says Marin. "We live in a high-demand society with expectations to perform extremely well at all times," she points out. "So the idea of stepping back into our 'real world', which typically means returning to work, can cause an enormous amount of pressure."
Marin divides her action plan for battling the Sunday scaries into three strategic categories: Organization, relaxation techniques, and connection.
Organization
Identify your triggers.
You can't always identify what sets off your existential dread, but Marin says it's worth considering these questions. "Why am I feeling this way? What am I scared of? What am I dreading? This may give you more information as to what you may want to change."
If a concrete worry, such as missing an upcoming deadline, comes to mind, Vito suggests counter-programming your thoughts by telling yourself a story of when that didn't happen: "You can reframe it as, 'You know what? I've actually never missed a deadline."
Create a schedule for your upcoming week.
If a flurry of to-dos are stoking your scaries, manage them with a schedule. It may assure you that you'll get everything done in due time. "The key here is to keep tasks really small and achievable, so that you can have an actual checklist and cross things off. That in itself can feel so therapeutic," Marin says.
Treat yourself tomorrow.
When you feel that anxious pang, think of what you can look forward to on Monday morning. A new book you've been wanting to read or an episode of your go-to podcast for the morning train commute, perhaps. As Marin explains, "it can be as simple as making a plan to get your favorite cup of coffee."
Write in your journal.
Jotting those anxious thoughts down can help you get a handle on them (here's a few of our favorite journals). And Marin stresses the value of actually writing it, as opposed to tapping it out in your phone's Notes app. "I always recommend for people to actually write with pen on paper," she says, pointing to research that suggests it can activate positive brain activity. "You want your brain to understand that you're tackling your problems and you're doing something about it," Marin adds. "That will lead to you feeling more in charge of your own life."
Relaxation techniques
Adopt a mindful mentality.
Staying in the present moment can halt anxiety in its tracks, and will help prevent the Sunday scaries from leaching your weekend joy. When we're in the here-and-now, it informs our next moment," says Marin. "That next moment will be more positive and optimistic if the current moment is." Beginners may want to try a guided meditation app to get started.
Even if a meditation practice isn't your thing, Vito suggests using some of its techniques to create a little distance from your Sunday anxiety. If, say, a major upcoming meeting pops into your head to stress you out about the workweek, "Witness the thought. You can just observe it and be like, 'Oh, yep, there it is.'" The goal is to identify those worries without judging them, or yourself. "Take some deep breaths to come back to center, and visualize watching the thought float off on a cloud. The key is to not let your thoughts spiral down, because one thought becomes another, becomes another, becomes another, and then all of a sudden you feel like crap."
Avoid what'll make you feel worse in the morning.
That four-margarita brunch will make you forget that Monday exists, but only for an hour or two. "Sometimes we deal with problems by using avoidance strategies," Vito warns. Instead, try to start the week off right by eating right, exercising if you can, and getting as much sleep as your stress allows you to on Sunday.
Create a Sunday night routine.
Counteract the afternoon wave of doom by anchoring Sunday with a routine full of healthy activities you love. "Even when you're happy and not anxious, you want the routine to become internalized and second nature," Marin says. "That way, the Sunday scaries won't even get the chance to creep in, because you already know what you're doing."
What that routine consists of is entirely personal—"it can range from taking a bath, going to see a movie, taking a walk, or cuddling with your dog. It really doesn't matter, but having the same type of routine no matter what is extremely important."
Connection
Activate your support system.
Marin suggests calling a friend to touch base, and consider 'fessing up your Sunday scaries. You just might find they're feeling the same way, and the chat will make you both feel better. She also points out that YOU are part of your own support system, so "dedicate time to reflect on what type of self-care truly works for you."
And finally, Vito notes that if you're constantly dreading work—not just on Sunday—that may be a sign that something bigger needs to change. "If you have to drag yourself in, you just don't feel like you belong, and maybe their values aren't even aligned with your values," it's time to consider a job switch. Paired with the self-exploration that'll reveal your perfect way to end the weekend, a new gig may turn your Sunday scaries into the Sunday psycheds.
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