Students Made and Gifted Lewis Capaldi the Ugliest Statue of Lewis Capaldi Ever

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  • Singer Lewis Capaldi was recently immortalized with a statue in his native Scotland.

  • Students and faculty at his former school worked for months to create a replica of the music star.

  • Great Scott, what on Earth is that thing supposed to be?!?


Maybe it's because I'm a born and raised American who hasn't set foot in the U.K. since they bounced from the EU in 2016. Perhaps it's because I'm in my 30s, and by that age, you have a harder time keeping up with the newest music (and frankly don't want to, lest you become one of those sad older writers trying to appeal to the TikTok crowd with forced opinions like "Billie Eilish is basically better than The Beatles"), or maybe I'm just truly out of touch with the modern pop culture landscape.

Whatever the reason, I will admit that I had no idea who Lewis Capaldi was when this story came across my desk this morning.

In case you're wondering, Capaldi is an English musician with some hits since his debut in 2019. He's had success on the U.S. Billboard charts but is an even more popular figure in his native country, where the program This Morning even called him "music legend Lewis Capaldi" which seems ... a bit premature. But then again, who am I to judge? As I said, I didn't know who he was.

But evidently, I'm not the only one who didn't know who the singer was—because, from the looks of this new statue of him, the sculptors didn't know who Capaldi was either:

Now, perhaps we shouldn't be too mean. According to the Daily Mail, students and teachers at Glasgow's St. Kentigern's Academy spent six months crafting their tribute to the singer, an alumnus of the school—and perhaps it's not right to make fun of British school kids. After all, they've got it tough these days. Reportedly, they're not even allowed to have pudding if they don't eat their meat.

On the other hand, I had a bad breakup the last time I was in the U.K., which made me shamefully shuffle into a store and ask, "Can I return this engagement ring?" So maybe taking some swipes at Great Britain will be a cathartic experience.

It's a tough call. So, to determine how we should treat these kids, let's consult Capaldi himself, per the Daily Mail:

"Meanwhile, the star recently shared his hilarious reaction as children burst into tears at his emotional new music video for Wish You The Best [...] He quipped in his caption, 'I am now making children cry. I feel like my latest music video is emotionally scarring these children, and I don't know how to feel cause, on the one hand, it's sad, but also at least the song is getting out there.'"

Well, if Capaldi is apparently on team "F- them kids," then let's do this. A few more statue thoughts:

  • That statue looks like an Invader Zim character.

  • That statue looks like the Sonic the Hedgehog movie character—before the redesign.

  • That statue looks like it should be on Jabba the Hutt's shoulder going "Ehehehe" in Return of the Jedi.

  • That statue looks like one of the mid-transformation pictures from the cover of an Animorphs book.

  • I should like to see that statue placed within esteemed Scottish artist Ian Hamilton Finlay's lavish sculpture garden Little Sparta. Not because it's worthy of inclusion but because, hopefully, then some of the shrubbery there can obscure it from view.

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