I'm just looking for a man who won't hide my sealskin
Why is a good partner who doesn't force me to remain in human form so hard to find?
I'm a selkie. Never heard of me? Then I guess you're not an Irish fisherman or a bartender regaling customers with stories of us magic folk. Basically, I'm a water fairy who lives happily as a seal for most of my days. However, when I feel the need, I like to emerge from the cold sea and shed my seal skin so I might sunbathe as a svelte human woman.
For the last several years, I've been lonesome and am letting it be known that I'm looking for love. What do I want in a partner? Well, I require someone kind. They should also be curious and always ready to learn. Most importantly, I'm searching for a man who won't hide my sealskin.
As you can see by the pictures on my profile, I've got a slender figure or amazing curves, depending on which form I take. As a human, I possess an otherworldly beauty that only the blood of the magical ones can produce. I'm also very sexy as a seal. However, human men seem less impressed by my flawless gray skin than my bountiful human bosom. There is no accounting for taste.
In the past, some mortal men, upon catching sight of me sunbathing as a human, thought to themselves, "I'd like to own that." Those shallow cads stole my skin and hid it so I couldn't return home to see my family. I missed my cousin's wedding because of these antics!
Eventually, like clockwork, I found my sealskin and ran back to the ocean. Oh, and I cursed the men's fishing boats, causing them and their brothers to drown. What can I say? Hell hath no fury like a fairy who missed an open bar.
I'm not a monster. I'm just vindictive. So I hope the men who reply to this ad will be kind, love the beach, want kids who may or may not inherit magical healing powers, and won't feel threatened by my transformative abilities. People change. I just change more frequently and drastically than most mortal women.
If you can't love me when I'm a seal, then you can't love me.
But please don't lie and hide my sealskin somewhere you think is clever once I'm in your home. That's happened three times already. Trust me, it's never as clever a hiding place as you think it is. Remember the other old saying we fairies like to quote? "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, still shame on you, and I'm going to destroy your house with a flood when I find my skin."
If I'm not to your liking, then go date a mermaid. I hear they love changing themselves to please a man. But don't come crying to me when one breaks your heart and eats it.