Iconic Sex and the City quotes get a Gen Z glow up
“Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours. It’s giving Tortured Poets Department.”
With the arrival of the illustrious HBO show to Netflix, other generations are finally getting a big dose of what it was like to keep calm & Carrie on. Naturally, these young people—most of whom were conceived after (or maybe as a result of?) the 1998 premiere—are finding it cringey, outdated and unrelatable. Luckily, I was in the mood to give Sex and the City’s most notable quotables an update so the kids are a little less salty about the SATC vibes.
"Some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than ephemeral TikTok fame.”
“Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it—get ready with me to go burn his house down!”
"I've been dating since I was 15. I'm exhausted. Where is he? I’m in my Desperate Era.”
"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as delulu.”
"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself and your thoughts on Jojo Siwa."
"POV: You spent $40,000 on shoes and you have no place to live."
“I’m looking for love. Bot love. AI-generated, convenient, non-consuming, can-live-without-each other love.”
“I suggested he have a tomato salad, then I suggested we get married. Guess I’ve got that engagement rizz.”
“I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it like some geriatric millennial making a cringey Reel.”
“In New York, they say, you're always looking for a job, a boyfriend or an apartment, and it’s like, bffr, bestie.”
"I'd like a cheeseburger, please, large fries, and a Cosmopolitan mocktail!"
“Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours. It’s giving Tortured Poets Department.”
“If I worried what every bitch in New York said about me, I'd be cooked.”
“I wanted to let you know that I’m getting married. To myself. And I’m registered at Crocs.”
“F— me badly once, shame on you. F— me badly twice, I’m going to write about it for The Cut."
"I know your friends just fine. Charlotte is the brunette, Miranda is the redhead, and Samantha is the one with a gyat."
“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become someone an incel thinks is ‘mid.’”
“People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love most are also having a menty b.”
“There are beautiful people everywhere, but at the end of the day, you just want to be with the one who randomly shows up on your For You Page.”
“Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, how would we know what’s canon and what’s not?”
“I love you. But I love my vape more. IYKYK.”
“How did it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but sneaky links?”
“Because sex is not the time to yap. In fact, it is one of the few instances in my overly articulate, exceedingly verbal life where it is perfectly appropriate to be the CEO of shutting up.”
“Men are like New York Times Connections games—if you can’t figure them out, that’s a skill issue.”
“I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty. Straight facts.”
“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see if the math starts mathing.”
“Life hack! Eventually all the pieces fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that doing it for the plot just hits different.”
“Bruh, no one’s fun anymore. Whatever happened to fun? God. I’m so bored I could go touch grass.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me. I got the ick.”
Sara K. Runnels is a seasoned humor writer, copywriter and writer-writer living in Seattle, WA. She is a regular contributor to The New Yorker & her sharp social commentary can be found, quite literally, all over the internet under @omgskr.
