How Did Birthday Celebrations Become a Thing?
Culture, kinship, and history all transcend to this present moment.
Can you remember the best birthday present you ever received? What was it? Where were you and what imagery do you remember?
I got mine when I was 9. My mother gave me $100 to spend at Toys "R" Us. This was in the 1990s, when $100 went a long way. When the doors to the store swung open, I felt the endless possibilities, feeling so lucky and fortunate as I did the math on how many toys I could purchase. And spoiled as this moment made me, it is a treasured memory that reminds me I was loved and cared for.
So much pomp and circumstance surrounds birthdays now, from Sweet 16’s to quinceañeras. But so little is written about their origins. How did we get here? How have birthday’s changed in meaning over time?
The evolution of your special day
Centuries ago, birthday celebrations weren’t even a consideration in most cultures. Until very recently, many Native American tribes didn’t even count their ages in the way that we do, with people simply living. Age was just an abstract concept they ignored, which sounds much nicer on this half of life.
But there were intermittent examples of birthday “events” in various cultures, particularly for the upper class. Egyptian pharaohs threw lavish parties to celebrate key birthdays.
A vindolanda tablet from Roman Britain was found with an invitation to a birthday party in 100 AD (which is likely the oldest surviving document written in Latin by a woman). Roman birthday celebrations were an extension of the cult of Genius — who was a personal god who was born and then died alongside you (women had an equivalent god, Juno). These celebrations and the use of cake and other ornaments gave homage to this personal god, asking him or her for another year of prosperity.
In 1700s Europe, birthdays were celebrated — but with some hesitation. It was believed that evil spirits often came for the person on this day, and so people gathered around to provide well wishes and help ward off the ghosts.
The huge change that emerged
Between the late 1800s and the early 1930s, there was a cultural shift from children being an economic asset, to them being an emotional one, and a heightening of importance in individuality. This coincided with children being removed from the workforce (rightfully), and a new collective identity being established for them.
An overlooked shift in this trend was in the role of time keeping. Clocks were considered a luxury before the 19th century, as most were expensive and inaccurate. But as the technology progressed, and industrialization kicked in, more and more homes owned clocks and began to think of time in concrete terms in daily life. This especially mattered as people entered factories and more standardized workforces, and were expected to be in at a specific time. After all, we could only rely on knocker uppers pelting our windows with peas in the morning for so long.
Birthdays, as a tradition, didn’t begin fomenting without resistance. Many saw them as self-indulgent and materialistic, causing children to become spoiled rotten. Others saw it as a distraction from spiritual pursuits and conversations with God. But their resistance proved futile.
The good side of things
For all the criticism birthdays get, they do carry great value. They give a child their own unique day, reinforcing the meaning and love that surrounds them. Their birthday harbors nurturing and caring, and reminds them that in this chaotic and indifferent world — they are indeed special. But scholars argue this meaning only came into significance when families became much smaller.
The entire concept of age consciousness is a relatively recent phenomenon. For most of modern history, people were just seen as old, young, or in between. Make no mistake: age was respected. But nobody was keeping score.
In the late 19th century, we began benchmarking ages as milestones, and delineating when things like marriage or having a job were and weren’t appropriate. And it became even more cemented with the arrival of middle class suburbia.
There’s no arguing the significance of birthdays. There’s even a proven effect whereby we prefer the numbers in our birthday over other numbers. I’ve noticed this myself as I see when a clock matches my birthday.
How America’s birthdays became what they are today
During the 19th century, the standard parties, with cakes, and hoorahs, began to form more concretely. The ceremony is likely a combination of several traditions. Cake is tied to Roman birthday rites. Candles stem from the German aristocracy, which often used these candles before electricity was available and often with religious undertones.
Mass production of birthday cards began in the 1900s, though they read quite differently in those days:
The use of wrapping paper stems from American consumerism as we corporations began finding ways to add revenue to their coffers. But there remains no singular rule for how a birthday can be celebrated, as they are a family affair, written freely and in line with your family’s rules and traditions.
The problematic side of birthdays
I haven’t had this problem — but very often, birthdays become objects of comparison, which inevitably lead to anxiety and social conflict. Expectations abound and when they aren’t met, disappointment ensues.
Per historian Howard P. Chudacoff, “Birthdays provide a milestone by which individuals can compare their status, accomplishments, and appearance with other people who are the same age. It’s kind of like a train: Are you ahead of time, on time, or behind time?”
Which is precisely how our new concept of birthdays emerged: through schedule references. For the first time, people described their birthdays in context to life goals, and whether they were getting to their destination in due time. Each birthday segments us into a new cohort. The comparisons in age come easily and naturally, and you can easily feel your life isn’t progressing fast enough if you fall into this psychological trap.
But remember that these birthday celebrations are still important. They say much about personhood, kinship, and your sense of belonging. Continue celebrating with those you love. Remember that acknowledging the significance of one’s birthday is acknowledging that person’s significance to you, and it rarely goes unnoticed.
Some of the fondest memories I have are related to birthdays: when my partner flew all of my friends out to surprise me with a party, when my parents had a huge birthday pool party for me and my friends. And even the quieter ones, where I just stayed in with my spouse and enjoyed each other’s company, rank among my favorite.
These are the richer moments of life, and they stem from a deep history in ancient rituals that transcend time and culture. Embrace them. Even if it means overpaying for a birthday card.
I'm a former financial analyst turned writer out of Tampa, Florida. I write story-driven content to help us live better and maximize our potential.