4 Principles to Slow Down Time
The Art of Slowing Down: 4 principles from Small Town Life
The Art of Slowing Down:
4 principles from Small Town Life
↓
Quick Spin:
When Meta launched the text based social network, Threads, the same day I shared my 10 step guide for how to have fewer, more productive meetings. Most people who follow me are highly ambitious people trying to avoid burnout. Sound like you? Keep reading.
Today I'm going to share 4 principles for slowing down so life doesn't pass you by in a flurry of tweets, threads, emails and slacks.
Slow down ➡️ The power of Boredom
Slow down ➡️ The Slow Friend list
Slow down ➡️ The Plumber Test
Slow down ➡️ Big fish, Small pond, Huge sky
Being ambitious is not synonymous with being busy.
Yet hustle culture has led us to believe it is.
So let’s slow down.
♟️ MY TURN:
Every year I take my 3 kids to my rural, one blinking traffic light, 800-person hometown in Central Illinois for “Camp Grandma & Grandpa”. I’m a first gen college graduate. My dad started his plumbing / electrical business when he was 19 after he married my mom. Small towns know the art of slowing down so here are 4 principles I live by to ensure I slow down before I break down.
Slow Down Principle #1: The power of Boredom
There was not a lot to do on our two acres in the middle of cornfields.
I was bored……a lot.
So what happened?
I created.
I created elaborate scenarios of teaching school with stuffed animals, being a vet with real animals and imagined every cloud as a different zoo animal.
As an adult, boredom feels a bit more elusive – possibly even lazy.
We need to reframe boredom.
When you finish working on something intense – your brain needs time to return to a resting state. In this state important things are happening in the brain. It’s consolidating memories and reflecting on lessons learned. The brain plays through scenarios and applies what was learned and how it could be used in the future. Many times unlocking new ways of thinking about other things in your life.
Boredom is actually your brain uploading new software.
This new software will amp up your creativity, task engagement and job productivity.
3 ways to add boredom into your day:
Sandi Mann, author of The Upside of Downtime: Why Boredom Is Good, says that it’s important to find an activity that requires little or no concentration to experience true boredom.
She cautions us not to confuse boredom with relaxation. Activities like yoga, which are designed to promote tranquility, don’t lead to boredom since you are thinking about the poses and what’s next.
Remember: Boredom is trying and failing to find mental stimulation.
She suggests activities like:
Walking a familiar route
Swimming laps
Doing dishes by hand
Ready to upload new software? Time to schedule a bored meeting ;)
(My energy dips at 3pm every day so I schedule a one hour walk - the same route, every day. My best content ideas come from this time.)
Slow down Principle #2: The Slow Friend list
There’s a single coffee shop in my hometown and every year I go in and undoubtedly see three former teachers, parents of former classmates and two people I’m related to.
In a small town wealth is not based on money. No one is driving flashy cars or wearing fancy clothes. Wealth is when you need someone to help you remove a tree or drive a kid somewhere – people are there.
Wealth is community.
So we sit at the coffee shop and talk.
Who is doing what…
Who moved…
Who changed jobs….
Who is struggling with some health stuff…
Small towns move slower and allow people to know the depths of the people around them without a transactional mentality.
When we move fast, we stay at the surface. Skimming by with “hope all is well” and “we should grab coffee sometime”.
So every month I create a “Slow Friend” list: Who are the 3 people in my life I want to slow down and go deeper with. I schedule intentional plans with them and go deeper than DMs and texts.
Slow down Principle #3: The Plumber Test
Having a plumber as a dad you encounter two types of people in the world:
>Those who see him
>Those who don’t
I have a vivid memory as a child (I went on jobs with him often in the summer) of a woman from the wealthier town 45 mins away yelling at him for coming to the front door because “service people only use the basement entrance”.
I was so confused.
He was everything to me.
Why didn’t she want people to see him?
This created the lens for which I look at the world.
Every plumber.
Every waiter.
Every checkout person at a store….
....they are someone’s everything.
Look up from your phone, slow down and see them.
This forces me to slow down in my day to day but it’s also an exercise of gratitude for the humans who enable us to do all we doing in this busy and ambitious life.
Start with one person a day......do you know who gave you coffee this morning?
Slow down Principle #4: Big fish, Small pond, Huge sky
When I first moved to NYC in 2009 my mom mailed me a clipping from the local paper about my move and how I was now working on a reality tv show.
My hometown is 800 people. I currently have 125,000 followers across my social channels.
The need to "live up to their expectations" drives me (and many of us) to push harder, go faster, want more.
Then I go home.... the sky at my parents’ house looks like one of those star lab planetariums.
The intensity of it’s darkness.
The vastness.
The number of stars.
It reminds me of how small we actually are and slows down the intensity and feeling of needing to be bigger, strive for more.
Here are 3 easy ways I slow down every week and feel the power of something bigger:
Sit in front of the ocean
Go outside at night, lay down and look up
Go to a park and lay under the tallest tree
♟️ YOUR TURN: To Live Life or Remember It…
This section was created for the art of slowing down. So let’s practice.
Take a moment to reflect on how these words transition from an email in your inbox to an opportunity for awareness and change.
Take a moment to think on the following questions:
When was the last time I was bored?
What recent situation allowed me to feel big?
What recent situation allowed me to feel the power of something bigger?
Would I pass the plumber test? Would they (think about this when hiring or dating)?
Who gave me my coffee today?
How am I defining wealth in my life?
Who is on my slow friend list this month?
Slow down to speed up. See you next week!
🧩 Life’s A Game Newsletter | 2x Founder + 3x CMO + 3x Mom + Building 3 companies | Prev @EY_US @theknot @house__of__Wise | 📚First book coming 2025