How to Stop Spiraling If Health Anxiety Is Taking Over Your Brain

Katie Way
·11 min read
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Antonio Rodriguez/Adobe Stock

Doing scary stuff sucks…which you’re definitely aware of if you’re dealing with mysterious health symptoms and dragging your feet about facing them head-on. I know I’ve put off doctor’s appointments because I wanted to let something—a weird rash, digestive issues, persistent headaches, whatever!—go away on its own. But it’s important to recognize when you’re actually being avoidant because you’re anxious, especially if your health problems are consistently on your mind, but a doctor’s appointment isn’t on your calendar.

If you’re spiraling about what could be going on with your body, but you’re paradoxically unable to take the next step, you might be dealing with health anxiety: the persistent feeling that there’s something majorly wrong with you (even when you’re having not-so-major symptoms, like run-of-the-mill aches and pains, or a common cold). According to research cited in a 2023 study, roughly 2 to 13% of people feel this specific strain of anxiety. Sometimes, it can manifest as the certainty that you’re sick (even if you’re not), so you go to the doctor too much. But you might be reading this article because you or someone you care about is having the opposite problem, which is trouble with taking the step from worrying to actually doing something about it.

If so: You’re not the first person to put something off because you’re scared. In fact, you’re probably spinning your wheels because, at least in the moment, it feels better than facing the unknown. Delaying a medical appointment is a common response to feeling stressed about what’s going on with your body, according to a 2021 study on health care avoidance. Still, all good things must come to an end—especially, you know, when they’re not actually good for you.

“That anxiety often comes from a place of feeling helpless. Once you’re working with a diagnosis, you’re ridding yourself of the unknown,” Caitlin Donovan, senior director of the Patient Advocate Foundation, a nonprofit focused on helping people get the care they need from health care providers, tells SELF. “The important thing to keep in mind is that [dealing with health anxiety] is all about making you feel better—physically better, and emotionally better. That’s the end goal. Not addressing whatever it is that’s bothering you is not going to improve your situation.”

So where do you start? Here are some expert tips for getting over an anxiety spiral—and into the doctor’s office.

Step away from the frantic online searches.

Who among us hasn’t spent a sleepless night in bed, face illuminated by the glow of a phone screen, typing “vaginal discharge Reddit” or “lower back pain Adderall” into Safari? Not just me, right?

Right. Experts tell SELF that I’m far from the only chronic-symptom-googler among us. James MacDonald, PhD, a Los Angeles–based licensed psychologist who specializes in health anxiety at Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Los Angeles, tells SELF that, by looking up your symptoms online, you’re trying to offer yourself temporary anxiety relief without addressing the deeper issue. “We engage in reassurance-seeking behaviors, and vague googling can help us feel better in the short term. [You might think] ‘Oh, my symptoms don't fit with this, so I probably don’t have that,’ or, ‘My symptoms do fit with this, and therefore I have some certainty about what it is,’” he says. But “doing your own research” online doesn’t give you any real insight into what the problem might be, if there even is one. Even when it doesn’t freak you out more, it’s not going to do away with your anxiety—or treat the potential issue—in the long run.

Donovan says she also recommends avoiding going down the rabbit hole because you might be led further into the weeds by straight-up misinformation. “Getting medical information off of some random blog or Facebook leads to disaster,” Donovan says—it only stands to increase your anxiety and confusion over what your symptoms could mean.

Not googling is easier said than done for many of us. If you absolutely must investigate your symptoms online, stick with credible sources. “Look for big names and institutions, like Cleveland Clinic,” or the websites of hospitals and universities, Donovan recommends. (You might also look through the heavily fact-checked and medically reviewed articles here on SELF dot com—just a thought.)

If you find yourself fixating on internet-driven self-diagnosis, Dr. MacDonald suggests taking a step back and remembering why you care so much about whatever you’re typing out. “Reconnect with your values—think about how important maintaining your health is to you,” he says. “Connect that to the values-aligned action of making—and attending—a doctor’s appointment.”

Make a just-the-facts list of your symptoms.

An alternative way to deal with symptoms when we’re anxious about going to the doctor is to simply…ignore them! Lock them in a mental box, and throw away the key! Hey, let’s sit closer to the screen at the movies because our vision isn’t so great anymore! Yeah, salsa class is fun, but all that dancing around is a recipe for hip pain later! Who needs ice water—it isn’t worth the toothache!

“People have a tendency to normalize bad situations, until, all of a sudden, it’s built up and it’s much worse than it originally was,” Donovan says. “It starts with, ‘Sometimes I can’t sleep, and sometimes I cough.’ Then it’s been over a year, you only sleep two hours a night, and you sound like you’ve been smoking for 30 years. It’s a frog in boiling water.”

Again, anxious avoidance won’t make you feel better. Donovan recommends writing a straightforward list of your symptoms and, if you’re comfortable with it, sharing it with a friend or a loved one—someone you can count on to support and validate you. “It helps to say what’s going on out loud to someone,” she says. “Sometimes if you hear it, you realize how much you’ve been suppressing.” But the key thing here is wrapping your head around what’s going on yourself. “Even if you don't have someone to say it out loud to, writing down all of your symptoms, even if you don't think they're related to one another, can be very clarifying.” You’re focusing on what’s actually going on, rather than all the unknowns worrying you.

A bonus: Writing out a list of symptoms is a good idea before any doctor’s appointment (which, yes, you will ideally be making one of these soon), as SELF previously reported. This is helpful if you get nervous or flustered at the doctor, which might make it harder to remember everything you want to address with your provider or express yourself as clearly as you’d like.

Make peace with the worst-case scenario—and with uncertainty.

According to Dr. Macdonald, a common thought pattern that people experience when they’re ruminating about health stuff is called “catastrophizing”—as in, turning a perceived problem into an insurmountable tragedy in your mind. “In this contemplation phase before going to a doctor, people tend to lose faith in their ability to cope with [what it would be like] if they were to receive a diagnosis, and go straight to the worst-case scenario,” he explains.

So…do that. “People with health anxiety can benefit from walking up to that mental cliff edge, looking over it, and seeing what’s on the other side.” Even if it’s not clear what that might be, facing that uncertainty is a step toward accepting it. If that sounds terrifying, tap a therapist to step in and help, says Dr. MacDonald. He recommends finding a psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which can be useful for reframing thought and behavioral patterns that contribute to anxiety and other mental health issues.

If you seek a therapist’s help, consider asking them to help you “construct a coping narrative, in very clear and vivid terms,” says Dr. McDonald. The idea is making yourself feel capable of dealing with whatever you’re afraid of—even if you never really do—in order to strip it of its power over your thoughts. (In CBT, this process is called “de-catastrophizing.”) That might look like working through questions like, “Okay, so you do receive some form of diagnosis. What would that look like? What would happen next? How would you cope effectively with it? Finish out that story that you’re leaving unfinished, because the unfinished nature of the story often leads to that uncertainty and anxiety,” he says.

Picturing yourself in the situation you’re dreading can also help get you in the door to see a doctor. “There’s evidence to suggest that rehearsal can reduce anxiety about future-oriented things and increase performance,” Dr. MacDonald says, meaning that you won’t feel stuck in your scary-ass brain to the point you can’t be proactive about your health (or calm the hell down). For example: You can think through walking into a health care provider’s building, sitting in the waiting room, speaking with the doctor, and hearing what they might have to say. (If you don’t have a therapist who you regularly see, you can look for one through the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, or check out this SELF guide to finding an affordable mental health care provider.) You can also try decatastrophizing on your own by writing through the questions above as you make your symptoms list.

Bring a loved one with you once you have an appointment in place.

Accountability is a great strategy for getting unpleasant shit done, and going to the doctor when you really, really don’t want to is no exception. Donovan suggests bringing a loved one to an appointment for backup (and extra insurance that you’ll actually go through with the visit). “Having someone there is emotionally supportive,” she says. “They can also take notes for you, so it covers a lot of bases.” A second person can also help underscore that your symptoms go beyond the realm of mental health. “A lot of people get invalidated around health anxiety,” Dr. MacDonald says. “Maybe doctors have dismissed them as having anxiety, but physical symptoms that arise as a result of anxiety can be very real, as well.”

Thank your brain—seriously!

It might sound corny, but that you’re even considering heading to the doctor is a step in the right direction—and you owe yourself a hearty thank you for that! Donovan says not taking action is an extremely common problem for people in all states of health: “It’s conflict avoidance,” she says. “It’s this idea that if we’re just tough enough, we'll get through it. It’s cultural, in that we’re not given a lot of time for taking care of ourselves, and our health care system is very expensive. The incentives are low to actually do something about our concerns.”

You might also recognize that your thoughts are, in their frazzled way, trying to take care of you. “If you have a physical trigger—a pain, or you get a little bit of dizziness, or you have a heart palpitation—your brain is going to automatically perceive that as a threat,” Dr. MacDonald says. “That’s its job. Everyone’s had the experience of having a random ache or a pain, then having an immediate thought about it potentially being serious.”

Dr. MacDonald suggests using a technique called cognitive defusion to drain that reaction’s stress-inducing power. “I recommend recognizing that the brain's job is producing these thoughts, and to recognize them as just thoughts—not necessarily truth or reality,” he says. As you notice your brain ringing an alarm bell over a symptom, take a moment to acknowledge that it’s simply an idea. Rather than getting sucked into a miserable cycle of worry: “Thank your mind for showing up in service of that goal to keep you safe,” Dr. MacDonald says—then let it off the hook. The thought might sound like, “Thank you, but that’s not needed right now. That’s just an ache; it’s just a pain.”

Also? Remember that it’s normal to feel anxious about an unusual thing your body is doing. Everyone does at some point. And, whatever happens, you’re very likely going to feel real relief when you put an end to this torturous mental guessing game—no matter what you end up hearing from a doctor.

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Originally Appeared on SELF