Stop bringing your monkey to Home Depot: A woman's pet spider monkey attacks two employees

Spanky’s aggressive antics caused her owner to be arrested.(Photo: Tina Ballard/Spanky the Monkey via Facebook)

I don’t know how many times I have to say this: Unless your pet spider monkey is a licensed contractor, it has no business at Home Depot.

A Florida woman was arrested after her pet spider monkey allegedly attacked two Home Depot employees … in two separate incidents.

Tina Ballard, the aforementioned Florida woman, brought her monkey to a popular home supply store, where it attacked an employee. Then, a short time later, she again brought the monkey to the store, where it attacked another employee.

Spanky, the monkey in question, jumped out of a shopping cart and grabbed a Home Depot cashier’s shirt, and left “red marks on the cashier’s shoulder and back,” in May, according to the Palm Beach Post.

In June, a Home Depot employee named Marilyn Howard was attacked by Spanky in the parking lot. Spanky was wearing her leash — but had escaped from Ballard’s truck while she was shopping inside.

Howard was trying to find the monkey’s owner when Spanky became scared by the doors, turned on Howard, and bit her arm, according to Fox News.

One can only assume that Ballard’s repeated visits to Home Depot are to purchase supplies to build some sort of confinement for Spanky to prevent these attacks.

According to WPBF, Ballard faces seven charges, including two for negligence. Now she may face a felony charge of “tampering with evidence”: Ballard sent an email to assistant state attorney Ashley Albright that stated she was fleeing to North Carolina to avoid a court hearing and to hide the monkey so state officials couldn’t take Spanky away.

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