The mother of the late Stephen "tWitch" Boss is publicly breaking her silence about the devastating loss of her son.
Six months after the beloved dancer and Ellen show DJ died at age 40 in December 2022, his 59-year-old mom Connie Boss Alexander is looking back on her son's life, and shedding some light on her grieving process since his death.
"Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday, and then other times it feels like it's been so long since I've seen him," she told PEOPLE exclusively in a new interview published Wednesday, June 28.
"When I think about him, I try not to dwell on how he left this earth,” she added of the So You Think You Can Dance alum, who died by suicide. "This is not totally the end. That is where my peace comes from."
View the original article to see embedded media.
When he was just a young kid growing up in Montgomery, Alabama, Connie remembered her son to be "always smiling, always willing to try new things." Plus, to no surprise, tWitch always had a passion for dancing. "If I had on music, he was dancing. He was the only male on his dance team in high school."
In the immediate weeks after his death on December 13 of last year, Connie recalled finding herself "in a lot of introspection, a lot of looking back."
"Did I miss something? Did he mean something when he said this?" she remembered wondering, calling the circumstances of tWitch's death "just very, very shocking."
"I don't know when or if I'll ever accept it," Connie continued. "At this point, I'm in realization, I guess. When I wake up in the morning, it does hit me that, oh my God, he really is not physically here. But then in my head I can hear him say, 'Hey, Mom. I'm okay.'"
"Some days are better than others," she said of her ongoing grief. But it's the memories she has of tWitch that keep getting her through. "It’s funny when you look at your child as an adult. With certain mannerisms, I see the little baby and then a toddler, and I’m chasing him down the hallway, him looking back at me and laughing. And in high school, I see him crossing the stage and turning back and waving. I see it all now."
If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.