The State of the American Penis
merican men disagree on a wide variety of issues, like climate change, health care, gun control, and whether the film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats, starring Taylor Swift, will contribute anything positive to popular culture. Yet for all our differences, there is at least one thing that binds male Homo sapiens together, helping to distinguish us from our double-X-chromosome’d female counterparts: a borderline familial relationship with our genitalia. But with family, it’s always complicated.
Intersecting not only with sexuality but with issues like privacy, technology, power, and public health, the penis is a symbol of our desires, our vices, our wellness. To investigate the nature of this relationship, Men’s Health partnered with survey specialists, scientists, investigative reporters, and a phallically shaped wind puppet named Flappy to examine the State of the American Penis. What it’s got going for it. What it’s got working against it. How we can make the most of it.
Consider the dick pic. One third of male respondents in a new Men’s Health survey admitted that they had sent one, while more than half of female respondents shared that they had received one. Once the territory of D-list Hollywood, dick pics have infiltrated the news cycle on a regular basis, ensnaring everyone from Anthony Weiner to Jeff Bezos. And if the richest man in the world is taking hackable pictures of himself, does this mean we’re more confident about our penises? That we always had the urge to show them off but were waiting for technology to allow us to? Or does it mean that we’re somehow less confident?
In a dick pic, a penis is merely a subject. Yet we treat it as if it took a selfie. Almost 40 percent of respondents blamed their penis for flirting with someone they shouldn’t have, for causing horny thoughts that led them to, say, text or email something they regretted, for causing injury to their penis, or for leading them to illegal activity, like having sex in public.
Which is, in a word, nuts. The penis itself isn’t determinative. It’s not doing anything wrong . . . or even right. It’s doing what our brains tell it to. It’s along for the ride.
As we look forward to a future-including a 2020 election cycle-simultaneously filled with creeping uncertainty and endless possibility, let’s figure out what this thing is and what it isn’t and what it needs from us. Understanding the penis doesn’t need to be so hard.
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