When to Start Potty Training Your Toddler
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Potty training might seem like a daunting task, but if your child is truly ready, there's not much to worry about. "Life goes on and one day your child will just do it," says Lisa Asta, M.D., a clinical professor of pediatrics at University of California, San Francisco, and spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Nevertheless, most parents still have plenty of questions about ditching the diapers. One of the biggest: When should you start potty training your toddler? The answer actually varies for every child. Let this expert-approved advice serve as a guide.
What's the Best Potty Training Age?
The best potty training age isn't one size fits all. "When kids want to go on the potty, they will go on the potty. Sometimes that happens at 18 months, sometimes it doesn't happen until close to age 4, but no healthy child will go into kindergarten in diapers," says Dr. Asta. That said, most children typically start potty training between 18 and 30 months.
The following signs may indicate that your child is ready to start potty training:
Your child is staying dry for at least two hours during the day and is dry after naps
They can follow simple instructions, like a request to walk to the bathroom, sit down, and remove their clothes.
They're interested in wearing "big girl" or "big boy" underwear.
Your child knows when their diaper is wet. If they cry, fuss, or show other signs of obvious discomfort when their diaper is soiled—and indicate through facial expression, posture, or language that it's time to use the toilet—then they're ready to start the process.
Even if your child seems ready, experts say to avoid potty training during transitional or stressful times. If you're moving, taking a vacation, adding a new baby to the family, or going through a divorce, postpone the potty training until about a month after the transitional time. Children trying to learn this new skill will do best if they're relaxed and on a regular routine.
Always talk to your child's doctor about the best time to potty train your child.
How to Start Potty Training
Once your figure out when to start potty training, it's important to introduce it properly. These tips can help ease the transition from diapers to toilets.
Gradually introduce the toilet.
Start talking about potty training occasionally around your child's first birthday to pique interest. Keep a few children's books about potty training to read with your child. And bring up the subject of the potty in conversation; saying things like, "I wonder if Elmo [or your child's favorite stuffed animal] needs to go potty" or "I have to go pee-pee. I'm headed to the potty." The idea is to raise awareness about going potty and make your child comfortable with the overall concept before they're ready to potty train.
Follow a schedule for potty training.
"The key is having times throughout the day where you ritualize using the potty so it becomes more of a habit," says Wendy Sue Swanson, M.D., a pediatrician at Seattle Children's Hospital. Consider having your child sit on the potty every two hours, whether they have to go or not, including first thing in the morning, before you leave the house, and before naps and bedtime. Tell them to remove shorts or pants first, their underwear (or, if you're using them, training pants) next, and to sit on the toilet for a few minutes (allot more time, if you think they have to poop). Read a book or play a game, like 20 Questions, to make the time pass in a fun way.
Offer Praise and Rewards
When you're potty training, accidents are part of the process; some kids still have accidents through age 5 or 6, and many don't stay dry at night until that age (or even later). Never punish your child for wetting or soiling their pants; they're just learning and can't help it. Instead, when your child uses the potty successfully, offer gentle praise and a small reward. You might want to use a sticker chart—your child receives a sticker every time they go potty; after they've earned, say, three stickers, they get a small prize. "However, don't go nuts!" says Scott J. Goldstein, M.D. a clinical instructor of pediatrics at Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern. "A lot of toddlers will react to excessive praise as they react to punishment—by getting scared and avoiding doing the thing that they were excessively praised or punished for."
Teach Proper Hygeine
To set children up with good hygiene habits that will last a lifetime, washing hands should be a routine from Day 1, along with flushing and wiping, regardless of whether your child actually went in the potty. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends wetting hands with cool or warm running water, lathering up with soap, and scrubbing for at least 20 seconds. Make hand washing fun by buying colorful kid-friendly soaps, and make it last long enough by singing a favorite song, like "Happy Birthday to You" or the "ABC Song," so the bubbles work their germ-fighting magic.
Understand that potty training takes time and effort.
You might prefer to get potty training over with as soon as possible—maybe you're curious about the 3-day potty training trend. That's fine, experts say, but not if it becomes too frustrating. "I often see parents who boast that they trained their 2-year-old in a weekend, and then say that the child has accidents four times a day," Dr. Goldstein says. "This is not the same as being potty trained. When kids are truly ready, they often will just start going on the potty on their own."
Also, it's not uncommon for a child who has been successfully using the potty for a few days to say they want to go back to diapers. To avoid a power struggle or a situation where your child actually starts a pattern of withholding bowel movements, which can lead to constipation, you might agree to a brief break. But try to build in a plan to resume by asking your child, "Would you like to wear underwear right when you get up or wait until after lunch?"
