This Stain Remover Will Make You the Fun, Carefree Party Host You Claim to Be

When you first see Chateau Spill, you might be tempted to drink it. The bottle looks like one of those mini red wine bottles you'd sip to try to fall asleep on a flight to Europe. "PRODUCE NO STAIN" the label boldly proclaims in all capital letters where on an actual wine bottle it might say "CONTAINS SULFITES." And then under an etching of some nondescript French Chateau it reads, in the sophisticated font one would expect of an old world wine, "PROTECTS AGAINST STAINABILITY."

Make a bottle of bubbles last longer with a champagne bottle stopper.

I wouldn't recommend drinking it. As you might have guessed, this is not red wine. It's a red wine stain remover—and a miraculously powerful one at that. It has a permanent spot on the bar cart in my dining room, and I pop it open as often as I dip into the Bordeaux.

The mock wine bottle design and the silly name mean I laugh every time I grab the bottle of Chateau Spill red wine stain remover—and, when there's a red wine stain on your white couch, it's important to laugh—so you don't cry.

You see, I host a lot of dinner parties. With dinner parties come red wine, and with red wine comes spills. Drips sneak down the side of the bottle. Glasses get knocked over by over-expressive hands complaining about the state of the MTA. Someone has a clumsy moment. Someone is a sloppy drunk. I'm not judging but I am saying it's best to be prepared.

With Chateau Spill on hand—and it's easy to keep on hand since it comes in a small, convenient spray bottle that you can stash at multiple locations in your house (and even in your handbag if you're prone to dripping red wine on your white button down at a restaurant)—you're prepared. For this reason, it's as crucial to the jovial vibe of my dinner parties as any actual bottle of red wine.

But more importantly, it works like magic. With subtle notes of vinegar on the nose at first (a quality I love in my stain remover and not so much in my red wine), the fragrance quickly dissipates as the spray sinks into my wine-stained tablecloth, and, within moments, the stain is gone. I've tried the salt trick people swear by on tablecloths—it doesn't work. I've tried other stain removers—they don't work as well Chateau Spill.

Within the presence of Chateau Spill, you're a more relaxed party host. You're not the kind of uptight person that gets upset about spilled wine. No. You're cool. You're chill. When someone knocks over their glass, you don't bat an eye. You cry out, cheerfully: "Not to worry, I've got the Chateau Spill!" And everyone is instantly put at ease. Your sloppy friend will immediately feel relieved when you perform the magical stain-removing ritual right before their eyes—alleviating any guilt.

With a bottle of Chateau Spill comes freedom. Freedom from worry about my linens. Freedom from worry about my white sofa. I enjoy the party, and spray stains the moment they appear. And performing stain-removal magic before my guests' eyes even becomes a satisfying party trick. I wish you—with this small, 8-dollar Amazon purchase—the same freedom.

Originally Appeared on Epicurious