Sorry straight women of TikTok, mustaches and tote bags don't make your boyfriend gay
There’s a new viral TikTok sound going around that proves, once again, that straights have no idea what they’re talking about...
It’s another day on the internet, and straight people don’t know how to talk about gender or sexuality. (What a surprise!) A new TikTok trend has us all scratching our heads, wondering when being gay went from a sexuality and part of who you are to a white, hipster aesthetic.
“I love when beautiful girls have a little gay boyfriend,” TikTok user Ashleigh Carter, the person who originated the now viral sound, says in the TikTok. “They just have a little, feminine, vintage Levi's wearing, tote bag carrying, mustache little boyfriend. He’s covered in the most random tattoos you’ve ever seen, one’s like a hot dog skateboarding.”
“His coworkers are shocked when he has this beautiful, amazing, stunning girlfriend,” she continues in the video, which, at the time of writing, has over 855K likes and has been stitched and used countless times by other TikTok users. “They're like, ‘Is she your cousin?’ and he’s like, ‘No, I make sweet, sweet love to her and I worship her.’ And I think that’s really beautiful and I love those couples.”
Girl, if you’re talking about bisexual men, just say you like bisexual men! We love bisexual men, and we love the women who date them! Unless, of course, that’s not what the TikTok was talking about...
Nothing in the original audio, or in other videos that have reused it, indicate any actual queerness in the vast majority of these “gay boyfriends.” The videos just show (mostly white) cis men, usually with mustaches, usually with tattoos, always skinny, and wearing an outfit that would be generously described as “trendy” and “decent.”
Other than that, he seems to be exactly the same as any other cis straight boyfriend.
What exactly is it that makes these boyfriends “gay?”
Wearing vintage jeans doesn’t make you gay. Carrying a tote bag doesn’t make you gay. Having a dozen shitty stick and poke tattoos doesn’t make you gay. (Those things just make you a white guy from Portland.)
Where is the “little” in these “little, feminine, gay” boyfriends??? Where is the “feminine???” Where is the “gay?????”
When did cis straight men having the tiniest bit of fashion sense and hygiene turn into them being gay? Just because your boyfriend can put together a good fit, likes to drink craft beer, and doesn’t pressure you into sex, it doesn’t mean he’s gay.
Honestly, this new trend is just barely one degree separated from when we were kids and we’d get called gay for liking the color purple, brushing our hair, wiping our ass, or wearing a matching shirt and pants.
The difference is that now, hipsters seem to be chasing gay clout instead of chasing kids they perceive to be gay so they could beat them up.
Scroll through to see even more examples of "little gay boyfriends," and see if you can find out what makes them gay.
