Sorry! Is the Dumb Children’s Board Game That’s Fun If You Talk a Lot of Trash
Today is July 4th, so there’s a not-inconsiderable chance you’ll spend at least a little time sitting around outside drinking beers with friends. And when all the fireworks have been launched and the hot dogs have been devoured, you might decide to spice your party up with a game. And here is the game you should play: Sorry!
Yes, that Sorry!. That board game you might remember from elementary school, where you move your little dudes around the board until your annoying friends knock you back to the start and the whole process starts all over again.
I can hear you scoffing, board game enthusiasts. You play Gloomhaven and Pandemic Legacy and Twilight Imperium. Maybe, if you’re feeling generous, you’ll settle for something as plebeian as Settlers of Catan. Why would you play a game that joyfully advertises itself as suitable for players age six and up?
The trick is recognizing that different board games are suitable for different times. Much like you might want a Bud Light over a Double IPA on, say, a scorching-hot July 4th, you might be surprised to discover how much enjoyment you can squeeze out of a children’s board game that basically just plays itself.
If you haven’t played in a while, this is how Sorry! works. You pick a color—red, yellow, green, or blue—and try to move four pawns around the board, eventually reaching the safety of a home base. You move by drawing cards, which allow you to move a piece between one and 12 spaces—or you might draw a Sorry! card, which allows you to send one of your opponent’s pieces back to the start. When all four of your pawns are in your home base, you win. That’s it. Later editions have added weird new mechanics like a "Fire and Ice" power-up. If your version of Sorry! includes those, ignore them.
What you want is simplicity, because the joy of Sorry! isn’t about what happens on the board—it’s what you say about it. If you haven’t played this game since you were a kid, here is what you might not remember about Sorry!: It is a super-efficient way to annoy the hell out of your friends. The game’s core mechanic is so arbitrary and unfair that a good game of Sorry! quickly devolves into a series of maddening reversals and betrayals.
Do you know the subtitle that adorns every Sorry! box? "The game of sweet revenge." How hardcore is that? You’re basically telling players to treat every round of Sorry! like a Game of Thrones episode—and trust me, there is nothing more satisfying than dropping Sorry! card after Sorry! card like it’s the Red Wedding.
In practice, *Sorry! is less a board game than an elaborate trash-talk facilitator. And when you knock your opponent’s pawn back to start, you are morally obligated to say "sorrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy" in the most obnoxious, dragged-out Michael Stipe voice you can muster.
