Social media can exacerbate holiday stress, experts say. Here's how to create necessary boundaries this season.

The comparative nature of social media can exacerbate holiday stress, say experts. (Photo illustration: Yahoo News; photos: Getty Images)
The comparative nature of social media can exacerbate holiday stress, say experts. (Photo illustration: Yahoo News; photos: Getty Images)

'Tis the season that picturesque turkey feasts, family getaways, beautifully decorated homes and luxury "What I got for Christmas" hauls hit social media feeds. And while it might incite some holiday spirit, these perfected depictions of joy and cheer can also fuel holiday stress.

A recent Yahoo News/YouGov poll of more than 1,500 Americans found that 38% of respondents experience an increase in stress levels during the holiday season, compared to other times of the year. The data shows that anxiety is centered around financial stress, buying gifts, not having enough time to enjoy the holidays and family tension — none of which comes as a surprise to Colette Sachs, an associate therapist at Manhattan Wellness.

"The holiday season can bring about a range of emotions and challenges for many individuals, leading them to discuss various issues and insecurities," Sachs tells Yahoo Life. "Money concerns often top the list, as people may feel pressured to meet the expectations of gift-giving, holiday events and travel expenses. For some, family gatherings can trigger stress and anxiety due to unresolved issues or strained relationships."

The issues themselves likely exist year-round, but are "magnified" by both the togetherness and commercialization of the holiday season, she says. The comparative nature of social media, on top of it all, doesn't help.

"Social media feeds into the overarching frustration that people feel like they can’t do enough or that they’re not enough," Nicholette Leanza, an Ohio-based therapist for LifeStance Health, tells Yahoo Life. "They're already trying to please everyone by hoping to give the perfect gifts or make the perfect dinner. Social media triggers all additional worries and insecurities."

It's why experts suggest this might be a good time to take a break — or at least create some boundaries when it comes to your online use.

Comparison is the thief of holiday joy

While social media is intended to drive connection and community, it also fosters feelings of loneliness and inadequacy as a result of comparison. "Whether it's Instagram posts of beautiful travel destinations, elaborately decorated homes, perfectly wrapped gifts or flawlessly executed holiday meals, it is understandably difficult to consume content of this nature without experiencing feelings of self-doubt, disappointment or even envy," says Sachs.

It's especially intrusive when people are already experiencing bouts of heightened stress.

"When we feel insecure and not enough, we look for confirmation of that around us, and it’s easy to find that as we scroll through social media and compare ourselves to what we perceive others are doing perfectly," says Leanza.

This is true of all social-media use, as studies have shown the negative impact it can have on mental health and wellbeing. It's also worth noting that the standard created by social media is often not based in reality.

"Users showcase their most polished moments and often selectively share positive aspects of their holidays — emphasizing joyful moments while omitting challenges or difficulties," says Sachs. "This selective sharing can create a distorted view of reality, contributing to the perception that everyone else is having a flawless holiday season and leading individuals to compare their own experiences to the seemingly perfect lives of others."

Leanza adds that social sharing can also expose someone to intimate moments of people from their past, like exes and estranged family members. Getting a glimpse into how they're spending the holidays with other loved ones has the possibility of "triggering anxiety and depression," she explains.

It can all be hard to acknowledge. "Because social media is so fused into many aspects of our daily lives, people don’t even recognize that it’s the culprit robbing them of their joy during the holiday season," says Leanza. Staying offline altogether might be best, experts say, although it's a difficult one to achieve — especially considering the addictive nature of social media. But there are ways to put boundaries in place, even if temporary.

Setting boundaries on social media

Restrictions might look different to different people, Leanza points out. "Some may need to delete the apps because it has become like a drug that has taken over their lives, while others may just be able to set boundaries where they use it less," she says.

In order to determine what route is best, start by taking a critical look at your social media use. "Check in with yourself about how social media affects your mood, self-esteem and overall wellbeing and recognizing whether it contributes positively or negatively to your holiday experience," says Sachs. "When feelings of comparison come up for you, actively question and challenge these comparisons through recognizing that what is portrayed may not accurately reflect reality and that everyone's holiday experience is unique to their life experience. Evaluate and adjust your expectations based on your own values and priorities rather than succumbing to societal or online pressures."

If that doesn't help, log out of certain apps to make them more difficult to access and establish specific time blocks for social media use. "Avoid mindless scrolling, designate tech-free periods, especially during family gatherings or important events," she continues. "Take advantage of the option to mute or unfollow certain accounts or posts that are triggering negative emotions, even if just temporarily."

Taking a step back entirely by deleting them from your phone might also provide relief from pressure to post your own incredibly curated holiday content.

"Not only does a detox provide a break from consuming media, but also creating it; individuals who may feel the need to perform and showcase their holidays on social media are liberated from this performance pressure, allowing for a more relaxed and authentic celebration," says Sachs. "Stepping away from social media also allows individuals to be more present in the moment, focusing on real-life connections and experiences. This reconnection with reality contributes to a more grounded and fulfilling experience."

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