Sia Cooper Revealed Her Most Personal Health Struggles In a Letter to Her Younger Self

Allie Strickler
Updated

Photo: Instagram / @diaryofafitmommy

If you could travel back in time and tell your 5-year-old self about what the future has in store, would you? What would you say? It's a tough question to answer, but fitness influencer Sia Cooper revealed in a super-personal post that she'd tell her younger self that she's beautiful, regardless of the toxic comments she would be told, even by those closest to her. (ICYMI, here's Cooper's story about why she removed her breast implants.)

Cooper, who runs Diary of a Fit Mommy, posted a childhood photo and photoshopped several comments in the background of the photo. The harsh words like "Your thighs look big," "Stop eating so much," and "Wear more makeup" are an intense juxtaposition to her smile. At the top of the photo, a statement in all caps reads: "Your words matter," revealing the intention of the post. (Related: This Fit Mom Is On a Mission to Prove That EVERYONE Jiggles In a Bikini)

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Dear 5 year old Sia, I want to tell you that you’re beautiful just the way you are. However, you’re going to grow up to hear things that no child or teenager ever deserves to hear. Your own mother will go on to rip your self esteem apart throughout the years and you will have to deal with the ripples for the rest of your life. Little does she realize, those words will carry weight and lead you down a dark path. By the time you’re 14 years old, you’ll develop an eating disorder because you think your thighs could be smaller. You will go hide your meals in your room so she won’t see you eat out of fear of yet another crude remark. You will binge and purge to feel better about yourself. You’ll constantly wonder if you’re thin enough to be considered worthy of beauty. By the time you’re 18, you’ll be suicidal because you haven’t found your self worth after years of emotional abuse. You’ll look for acceptance in all the wrong places and hit rock bottom. But you’ll get up again like you always do. By the time you’re 20, you will marry someone who emotionally abuses you because you weren’t taught your own worthiness and how you should be treated. You’ll eventually divorce this man and hit a new level of low. You’ll attend nursing school and learn to eat your emotions which leads you to your first actual time of being overweight. However, you’ll quickly lose the weight within a year dropping down to a mere 100lbs and wanting more. You won’t have any balance because you’ve never been taught how to do so. Your life has always been extreme one way or the other. But Sia, it gets better. By the time you’re 23, you’ll meet the man you’re meant to be with and you’ll have a little boy and girl of your own. You’ll know exactly what to say and what not to say to your own kids. You’ll learn to use your traumatic childhood to fuel your motherhood. People often don’t realize that those little words stick. Kids like you soak up these sayings like a sponge and it can either lead to a life of contentment or to a life of heartache and disaster. Let your life be a story to others along the way. Keep fighting. With love, 29 year old Sia

A post shared by SIA | FITNESS WORKOUTS RECIPES (@diaryofafitmommyofficial) on Mar 27, 2019 at 5:05am PDT

In the caption, Cooper speaks directly to her 5-year-old self: "Dear 5 year old Sia," she wrote. "I want to tell you that you're beautiful just the way you are. However, you're going to grow up to hear things that no child or teenager ever deserves to hear."

She went on to describe how her mother "ripped" her self-esteem apart with toxic comments about her appearance. "Little does she realize," Cooper wrote, "those words will carry weight and lead you down a dark path."

That path included an eating disorder at 14 years old, suicidal thoughts at 18 years old, and emotional abuse in her early 20s, specifically during her first marriage, Cooper shares. Soon after divorcing her first husband, she said she struggled to find balance in her life. "You'll attend nursing school and learn to eat your emotions which leads you to your first actual time of being overweight," Cooper says. "However, you'll quickly lose the weight within a year dropping down to a mere 100lbs and wanting more." (Related: This Woman Wants You to Know That Losing Weight Won't Magically Make You Happy)

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Excuse me while I take a second to break up the monotony of your feed from all those perfectly chiseled, flexed bodies you’re used to seeing.]]>💁🏽😘🙌🏽