The Shower Habit That Will Reset Your Brain
Finally, they were all asleep in bed. My partner, Josie, and I had tidied the house after the day’s chaos. We had made all the baby bottles and lunches for the next day. Our four children were under the age of 4. We had gotten through another day. It was late. It was a dark, wintry night in Dublin. Josie and I slumped down on the couch. What next? Watch Netflix? I wish!
We were in the middle of a cold shower challenge. Each night, when the day’s work was done, we would spend some time breathing together and then… Well, then, the most difficult part: We’d take a cold shower.
Why on earth were we doing this? As well as having four humans to raise and both having a career, we were suffering from heartache. Josie’s brother, John, had died in the hospital at the end of our road, after a tortuous battle with prostate cancer. We were grief-stricken, and if I’m being honest, we were in a bit of a hole. We needed something to get us out of it.
We had heard about the healing benefits of cold water, especially for dealing with grief and tragedy, and so had committed to having a cold shower every day. But the only time we could carve out for ourselves was last thing at night. So, there we were, sitting on the couch together, knowing that the cold shower was upstairs waiting for us.
A cold shower is probably the most convenient path into the world of cold exposure and its many benefits. In addition to inducing feelings of exhilaration and invincibility, there are surprising effects on the brain: Researchers at the University of Cambridge in the U.K. discovered that cold exposure may protect from degenerative diseases like dementia, while a study from the Virginia Commonwealth School of Medicine found that participants who took daily cold showers reported a decrease in depression symptoms.
But, like many beneficial things, it’s difficult. And a bit grim.
That’s because over a lifetime, many of us have grown up with deliciously hot showers. We are conditioned to see the shower and expect a warm experience. So, when we start cold showering, it’s a real shock to our system on every level: Not only is the water cold (we’ll talk more about how to deal with this in a moment), but every cell in the body expects the water to be warm. This is a new type of shock. We crave the old way. Also, our bodies know we can just step back out of the cold shower. There is a quick escape if we want to take it, and that’s very tempting. But within all this shock and chaos lies the secret of the cold: It can enrich our lives. It can become a force for good.
We have to be brave, though.
I’m often told by people that they hate the cold. That they despise the cold. That they can’t stand the cold. Why such strong emotions? In certain ways, the cold is like a mirror. It reflects back to us all the fear, worries, pain, discomfort, and uncertainty we are holding on to, most of which we are unaware of. All this comes rushing up to the surface when we are faced with the cold. We feel fear. We feel strong resistance.
I want to be clear here: We want both hot and cold in our lives. We’ve evolved over millions of years to a point where, in some parts of the world, we can simply press a button and hot water flows out of the shower. Let’s enjoy that. What I am suggesting, though, is that we should enjoy a nice hot shower and then at the end of it, turn it to cold. That moment of truth, of turning the tap, is the most difficult bit.
Before I teach you how, I want to ask you a question: Do you really want to do it?
Let me put that another way:
Do you want to learn to conquer your fear?
Do you want to learn to face the difficulties in your life?
Do you want to learn to be serene despite the pressure you face?
Do you want to feel calm and peaceful again?
Do you want to feel powerful every day?
Do you want to feel more alive?
Do you want to feel victorious?
Do you want to feel strong?
Do you want to feel alive?
If the answer is yes, then it is time to turn that tap from hot to cold. My suggestion is to incorporate it into your usual hot shower routine. Whenever you usually have a hot shower, now you do the same but finish with cold. It’s important to set an intention, though. You have to commit to doing it. So let’s do that now: Imagine yourself in your lovely hot shower. Imagine, now, deciding it’s time to turn that tap. Imagine the cold water splashing down on you. It can feel like an explosion: It’s shocking, we recoil from the water, our minds burst into fear. Usually, there is a fairly loud voice in our heads, saying, Get the f*** out of here!
Welcome to the chaos. This is what we want. This is where we find all the deep benefits. This is where we learn a lot about ourselves, This is where the cold teaches us. We voluntarily put ourselves into this difficult position to learn how to get out of it. It’s like a battle every time we turn that tap. When it’s over, we feel victorious.
In the chaos, we lose track of our breathing entirely. It becomes erratic, fragmented, and uneven. Our inhalations become short, painful attempts at trying to breathe. Our exhalations disappear. We want to find our exhalations, no matter how small they might be, and begin to focus on them.
Initially, our exhalations will be short and choppy. They’ll feel out of control.
But we must focus on them, we must begin to work on them: mechanically and consciously moving our lungs so they get longer and stronger. Work them: Keep focusing on them until we feel they are steadily and strongly flowing outward. It is work. The cold is relentless and will continuously try to take our breath away again. So we have to keep working on controlling our exhalations, keeping them steady, breathing out and trying to control our breath.
Let’s practice it now as you read:
On your next inhalation, breathe in gently and deeply. And now, slowly and steadily, breathe all the way out. When you reach the bottom of your exhalation (without forcing it), breathe gently back in. And now breathe slowly all the way out again. When you reach the bottom of your breath, breathe in again.
This slowing down, this softening, then takes us deeper along the path into the cold. Then a sense of calm arises in us, despite the relentlessness of the cold. The cold water is still splashing on us, but we feel calm despite it. The cold will continue to try to take our breath away, but we are at peace in the chaos. We are in control. We are calm. Despite the chaos.
When we can find a sense of control and calm in the chaos of the cold, we can then find it anywhere. The cold teaches us to find balance and tranquility despite whatever pressure we are facing. When we breathe our way into calmness in the cold, we can then do it anywhere. If a really difficult situation arises at work or home, we now know we can handle it. We know because of our daily battle and victory in the cold shower that we can find a sense of calm and control by focusing on our exhalation. This allows us to react differently to difficult situations. It allows us to feel differently and think differently despite the fear or worry we face. We are in control. We are calm despite the pressure.
Your mastery of the cold has begun.
Excerpted with permission from The Power of Cold, by Níall Ó Murchú, published by Hardie Grant Publishing, September 2023
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