Shia LaBeouf Remains Very Good at Wearing Shorts
Whether you worship his style, loathe his griminess, or feel absolutely nothing towards him, there is absolutely no denying this much: Shia LaBeouf knows how a pair of short should fit. With half of the world walking around with parachute thighs, hems dangling around their calves, and pockets stuffed (and the other half giving us 5-7 inches of bare hairy thigh whether we like it or not), you have to appreciate a man who walks the line with shorts that have a slim leg opening and hit just above the knee. Even if Shia LaBeouf's shorts look like they were hemmed with a rusty pair of child-proof scissors, even if it's clear they haven't been washed in weeks or months (or ever), even if he wears them for occasions that technically call for pants—like on his way into Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday—they are always the perfect length; two inches above the thigh, three if the shorts are nylon and he's playing a sport. His dedication to fit is practically religious. (And don't even go dangling that picture of him in the white shorts from 2016 in front of us; everyone knows the dude was in costume.)
You can take or leave LaBeouf's dusty hiking boots, calf-hugging tube socks, and sun-faded Patagonia pullovers, but definitely take his shorts. At least, the general idea of them. The way neither suffocate nor sag like a wet towel around the thighs, the way they let the knees do what knees do best (bend) and the groin do what the groin does best (stay covered, mostly). This spring, and you might hate us for saying this: you're probably going to a little more like Shia LaBeouf. Thigh tattoos optional.
