Shailene Woodley on self care: 'I have over 200 unread text messages'

Shailene Woodley joined her mother, Lori, for Yahoo’s Reset Your Mindset event where they both discussed how they’re staying mentally healthy. Lori Woodley, a counselor, co-founded the non-profit All It Takes with Shailene in 2010. One way that Shailene is avoiding unneeded stress is staying away from social media and her phone, when possible. “My advice always is just don’t read comments,” she says. She added: “I have over 200 unread text messages on the phone right now,” she said. “I have not listened to a voicemail in maybe four-and-a-half years.” She admits it might be annoying to her mother and friends when they’re trying to get in touch, but that “if they truly care about me and love me, they're just going to accept that that is part of me and that is how I self preserve.”

Video Transcript

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BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: Hey, everybody. I'm Brittany Jones-Cooper, host at "Build" series, and you know our next guest from TV shows like "Big Little Lies" and films like "Endings, Beginnings." Yes, I'm talking about Shailene Woodley, and joining Shailene is her mother and counselor Lori Woodley to talk about the non-profit organization All It Takes. Welcome, ladies.

LORI WOODLEY: Thank you. How are you, Brittany?

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: I'm good. First I want to check in with you guys. You know, we're-- what? Two months into this whole social distancing thing. How are you guys doing? Lori, I'll start with you.

LORI WOODLEY: I'm doing really well most of the time. Every now and then, I have an unexpected anxiety attack that I really didn't ever have before. But for the most part, I'm navigating well, because I've been really busy and pivoting our in-person organization to an online platform and that has kept me busy and focused on making a difference. So that has been helpful for me.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: How about you, Shailene?

SHAILENE WOODLEY: I've been good. I mean, you know, its highs and lows. I sort of look at quarantine as a great reflection for how life generally is in a normal environment. Except it's so condensed, it's almost like we're all in a Petri dish right now, and we're really having to self examine, and examine our social structures, our individual habits and our patterns. So it's been wonderful, because I'm someone who really kind of thrives, I think, in harsh challenges, but that doesn't mean that it's always been easy.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: What advice do you guys have for people in social media during this time, or what are you personally doing with social media to stay healthy during this time?

SHAILENE WOODLEY: Ooh, social media can be such a monster. You know, my advice always is just don't read comments.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: I personally am a big fan of putting the phone down. I'm kind of notorious for not responding to text messages. Right? It's just for me, it's like how I can survive, and I can make time for communication, and then I have to shut it off. You're nodding your head, Shailene, you do the same thing?

SHAILENE WOODLEY: Oh. I mean, my mom can attest to this. I have over 200 unread text messages on my phone right now. I have not listened to a voicemail in and maybe four and a half years. I have thousands of unread emails, and it is my way of self-preservation. And I've just come to the place in my life where I understand that it's frustrating for a lot of people, but if they truly care about me and love me, they're just going to accept that that is part of me.

LORI WOODLEY: I think too is to do our very best to not take things personally and to circle around-- I mean, similar to what you're saying-- but circle around and bring people into our social media network that lift us up and don't drag us down.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: And I know a lot of people are feeling bad right now or anxious right now, because they're going through hard times, but they're not essential workers, and they have their health, and they have their jobs, but they're still feeling guilty, or they feel guilty about feeling anxious. What do you say to those people?

SHAILENE WOODLEY: I was talking to a friend the other day about this, because I was expressing, I was like, you know? I'm actually doing really good, but it's hard to say that when, you know, so many people aren't. And he's like, it's important to recognize what's going on, to not be ignorant about what's going on, to be in service and the best that you can, and to celebrate where you're at in your life as well. He's like, guilt is not going to help anything, and it's not going to progress this world. And it's completely correct. You know, I think we self inflict guilt, because it's a way for us to rationalize the injustice that happens on the planet. Because there is no way to rationalize why injustice is here, why inequality is here, why certain things happen to certain people at certain times.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: Yeah, and I love the work you guys are doing with your non-profit All It Takes. So let's talk about how that work has evolved and changed. Because you started this organization 10 years ago, so how has it grown, and specifically now during this pandemic, what are you guys doing to kind of reach the people who follow you and help them through this time?

LORI WOODLEY: So online, we're doing webinars, and we've connected with a film called "Angst," and that has been really great. A film on anxiety and bringing awareness to tools, you know, from a lack of awareness, to having awareness, to tools. And then a webinar series that is an hour a week where people can come on and really understand what they're dealing with and how that's showing up in the world for them, and what they can do about it to be in comfort and ease, and navigate through this situation of the pandemic without being too-- to navigate it without being upset more than happy. Or you know, or being able to find happiness even when they acknowledge that they're upset.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: So before we wrap, I just want to know a small thing you guys do for yourself everyday to stay positive, whether it's an affirmation, or a walk, or an exercise. Just what is your go to mood booster?

LORI WOODLEY: So we've been gone a ton of planting and already harvesting vegetables for the year, and that is so grounding and healing for me. So my two immediate go to is probably is a hands in the dirt and a walking, and water is, you know, I mean, water I think has got to be my element.

SHAILENE WOODLEY: For me, it's water or a walk. So taking a bath or going on a walk. Those are my instant resets-- or shower-- anything water related or walking.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: Are we doing like full baths, like candles--

SHAILENE WOODLEY: Oh, candle.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: Oils.

SHAILENE WOODLEY: Epson salts, books, music, all the oils, yes. I don't just sit in hot water. I make it like spa life. Why can't we have spa life at home?

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: Treat yourself.

SHAILENE WOODLEY: Why does it have to be sordid to a $200 situation somewhere fancy? You can set a vibe at home.

BRITTANY JONES-COOPER: Yeah.