Sex Addiction: How to Overcome Compulsions

Medically reviewed by Aleesha Grier, PsyD

Sex addiction is an enduring pattern of repetitive and intense sexual impulses, urges, or thoughts that lead to excessive sexual behaviors. Sex addiction differs from having a high sex drive, which involves a heightened interest or desire for sexual activity. People with sex addiction compulsively act on their urges and desires, sometimes to the detriment of their mental and physical health and relationships.

Other terms used for "sex addiction" include "hypersexuality," "compulsive sexual behavior disorder," "sexual compulsivity," "hypersexual disorder," or "sexual addiction disorder."

This article covers the signs and symptoms of sex addiction, its causes and consequences, and how therapy may help treat sex addiction.

Is sex addiction a real diagnosis?

Though sex addiction is not recognized as a distinct disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), it can still be diagnosed using the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), which defines the condition as compulsive sexual behavior disorder.

Symptoms: Do I Have a Sex Addiction?

Knowing the signs of potential sex addiction can help you determine whether your sexual impulses and behaviors might be more than just a high libido. Symptoms of sex addiction can vary from person to person and may include:

• Excessive and uncontrollable urges to engage in sexual activities despite adverse consequences to your health, relationships, work, or other areas of life

• Constantly thinking about sexual fantasies, urges, or planning sexual encounters that may interfere with daily responsibilities

• Loss of control over sexual impulses, often leading to engaging in risky behaviors

• Prioritizing sexual behaviors over responsibilities like work, social activities, or family commitments

• Engaging in increasingly intense or risky sexual activities to achieve the desired level of satisfaction

• Repeatedly attempting to cut back or stop engaging in compulsive sexual behaviors without success

• Feeling shame, guilt, anxiety, or regret due to lack of control over sexual urges

• Experiencing strained relationships or legal, financial, or health-related issues as a result of compulsive sexual behaviors

• Feeling anxious, depressed, or irritable when unable to engage in sexual activities

• Keeping sexual behaviors hidden from loved ones or engaging in sex-related activities alone to avoid judgment

Related: What Having an Addictive Personality Actually Means

Signs of Sex Addiction in Other People

Having a high libido and thinking about sex frequently doesn’t necessarily mean someone has a sex addiction. But certain signs may point to a sex addiction in others, including:

• Excessive time spent on sexual activities: You may notice this person spends a significant amount of time engaging in sexual behaviors (e.g., masturbation, new sex partners, increasingly risky sex acts), often to the detriment of other responsibilities or relationships.

• Secretive behavior: People with a sex addiction are often secretive about their activities, hide evidence of sexual encounters, or avoid discussing their actions.

• Neglected relationships: Sex addiction can weaken emotional connections with loved ones, leading to emotional distance and strained interactions with friends and family.

• Unexplained financial strain: Signs include excessive spending on sexual activities, sex workers, or pornography, which may contribute to financial difficulties.

• Failed attempts to cut back: The person may express their desire to reduce their sexual activities but struggles to control urges and behaviors.

• Mood swings: Abrupt changes in mood, such as irritability, guilt, or anxiety, are common when the person cannot engage in sexual activities.

• Decline in work productivity and social interactions: Sex addiction is associated with reduced social interactions, decreased productivity at work, and withdrawal from previously enjoyed activities due to preoccupation with sexual impulses.

Related: What Is Libido?

Sex Addiction Causes: Pleasure, Impulse, or Something Else?

The exact cause of sex addiction and compulsive sexual behaviors is poorly understood. Though it remains an area of ongoing research, experts suggest that several factors likely play a role in the development of sex addiction, including:

• Traumatic childhood experiences, such as abuse or poor attachments with caregivers

• Underlying mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

• Chemical imbalances in the brain

• Neurological disorders, such as dementia, epilepsy, or traumatic brain injury

• Social and environmental factors, such as early exposure to explicit content
  

Because sexual behaviors initially lead to euphoria, pleasure, and stress relief, some people grow to depend on and crave those feelings as a means of escape or to cope with life's stressors. Engaging in compulsive sexual behaviors may lead to a rewiring of neural pathways that reinforce the addiction cycle.

Related: How to Overcome a Love Addiction

Addressing Sex Addiction in Therapy

Addressing sex addiction requires a comprehensive approach, including therapy, to uncover the underlying causes and develop coping strategies. Mental health providers, such as psychiatrists, psychologists, and sex therapists, use specific therapeutic approaches to treat sex addiction, including:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps people identify and modify negative thought patterns and behaviors. It can assist in recognizing triggers for compulsive sexual behaviors and developing healthier coping strategies.

• Psychodynamic psychotherapy explores the connection between your thoughts, emotions, and past experiences to address your sexual behaviors.

• Trauma-informed therapy can help process traumatic childhood experiences and develop healthier coping methods.

• Couples therapy addresses communication issues, helps couples understand and process their emotions and experiences related to sex addiction, and promotes a healthy relationship.

• Pharmacotherapy involves psychiatrists prescribing medication in cases where sex addiction coexists with mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder.

Related: Signs of Addiction Denial

How to Self-Soothe With a Sex Addiction

Navigating the challenges of sex addiction can be daunting, but finding ways to manage and self-soothe during difficult moments is an empowering way to reduce psychological distress and improve your overall well-being. Adopting healthy habits to replace compulsive sexual behaviors can take time and patience, and you may need to try different methods until you find what works best for you, such as:

• Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques help you stay present in the moment and manage overwhelming emotions. Depending on the method, your focus may be on breathing, bodily sensations, or grounding exercises to regain control.

• Healthy hobbies: When urges arise, distract yourself with activities you enjoy to shift your focus away from compulsive behaviors and habits. Depending on your interests, this may include reading, writing, music, crafting, exercising, or spending time in nature.

• Embrace self-compassion: Replace self-criticism with self-compassion and treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend. Remind yourself that you’re on a journey toward healing and growth.

• Create a support network: Connect with people who understand your struggles and can provide support. You may find it helpful to join a sex addiction support group to connect with others who share similar challenges.

• Stress management: Relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation or breathwork, may help relieve tension, stress, and anxiety.

• Regular exercise: Physical activity, such as cardiovascular exercises and strength training, boosts your mood and provides an outlet for excess energy.

• Set realistic goals: Break down your recovery journey into manageable steps. Celebrate small achievements and milestones along the way to reinforce your progress.

• Seek professional guidance: If self-soothing techniques feel insufficient, working with a therapist can help you develop coping skills for recovery.

Related: What Is Self-Care and Why Is It Important?

Effects of Sex Addiction

Sex addiction can have far-reaching consequences, affecting everything from physical and mental health to relationships, work, and finances. Being preoccupied with sexual thoughts and acts may interfere with daily responsibilities, hobbies, and social interactions, worsening your quality of life.

Partners of individuals struggling with sex addiction often experience profound emotional distress, including feelings of betrayal, low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. When one partner has a sex addiction, it can lead to a breakdown in trust, communication difficulties, and deterioration in emotional intimacy.

Though not everyone with a sex addiction engages in infidelity, the impulsive nature of the sexual urges and desires can increase the likelihood of straying from committed relationships. The secrecy surrounding sex addiction and infidelity further erodes trust and causes emotional turmoil for both partners.

Sex addiction can also have physical health consequences. Engaging in risky sexual behaviors, such as unprotected sex with multiple partners, can increase your risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Many people with a sex addiction also turn to drugs and alcohol and develop substance use disorders to cope, which can cause long-term health problems.

Related: These 9 Online Couples Therapy Providers Can Help Restore Harmony and Balance

Programs, Resources, and Support

Facing sex addiction, whether it’s your own struggle or that of a loved one, can be overwhelming and isolating. You don't have to face it alone. Numerous programs, resources, and sources of support are available to guide you and your loved ones toward healing and recovery.

Support for People With Sex Addiction

If you are seeking support for sex addiction, consider the following:

• Therapy and counseling: Trained therapists and counselors offer specialized interventions to address sex addiction. CBT, psychodynamic therapy, and couples therapy can provide tailored strategies for managing compulsive sexual behaviors.

• 12-step programs: Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) are peer-led support groups that provide a safe space to share experiences, gain insights, and receive support and encouragement from others in recovery.

• Treatment programs: Inpatient and outpatient treatment programs offer a structured approach to recovery, providing a combination of therapy, group support, education, and coping strategies.

Support for Partners and Loved Ones

Loving someone with a sex addiction can be emotional and complex. Support and education can help you address your loved one's addiction and its consequences on your life, as follows:

• Couples or individual therapy: Therapists specializing in relationship issues and sex addiction can guide partners through emotional challenges and provide strategies for coping and healing.

• Support groups: Support groups such as the 12-step programs S-Anon and COSA offer support groups and recovery programs for family and friends of people with sex addiction. You may find it helpful to connect with others with similar experiences.

• Educational resources: Nonprofit organizations, such as the Association of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, offer support and treatment for partners affected by sexually compulsive partners.

Helplines

If you're overwhelmed or unsure of where to start when it comes to therapy and support groups, start with a 1:1 conversation by calling one of the following helplines:

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): A confidential, 24/7 helpline offering information, resources, and guidance for individuals and loved ones dealing with mental health disorders, including sex addiction: 800-662-4357.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Sometimes, sex addiction can lead to severe emotional distress. If you or someone you know is struggling, this helpline (dial or text 988) offers immediate support 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Summary

Sex addiction, or compulsive sexual behavior disorder, is a long-lasting pattern of excessive thoughts, urges, or desires that lead to compulsive sexual behaviors. Living with a sex addiction can take a toll on your emotional and physical well-being, strain your relationships, and affect your professional life.

The first step to healing from sex addiction is acknowledging the problem. Working with a licensed mental health professional can help you understand the root causes of sex addiction, which may include unresolved trauma, emotional struggles, or co-occurring mental health disorders. With the proper treatment and support, it is possible to overcome sex addiction, live a fulfilling life, and build healthy relationships based on trust, respect, and emotional connection.

Read the original article on Verywell Health.