This 'Can I Have Sex 3 Days After Having a Baby?' Rant is Everything

Sabrina Rojas Weiss

If you have ever been part of a Facebook mom’s group, or know someone who has, you know that it can be a wonderful place to get recommendations, support each other through this new stage of life, and maybe even form lifelong friendships. It can also be a maddening place filled with anxious moms, mom-shamers and science deniers. One mother who went off on her “train wreck” of a group has Reddit users in stitches this week.

“Why OH WHY do I insist on staying in mom groups on Facebook?!” reads a Facebook post, which was recently shared on the subreddit r/insanepeoplefacebook. ” ‘Can I have sex 3 days after having a baby?’ NO, TIFFANI WITH AN ‘I.’ You have a gaping wound in your uterus the size of a ding dang dinner plate and infection is not worth the 13 minutes of disappointment.”

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Let’s pause a moment here to offer a bit of clarification on this one: According to the Mayo Clinic, there is no specific wait time for sex after childbirth, though doctors usually recommend four to six weeks. Doctors will give specific advice on the matter depending on type of delivery, vaginal tears, infection risk and all the postpartum discomfort you might experience. In other words, like so many other issues related to having a baby, you should seek professional advice, not the words of Dr. Facebook.

The mom continues to mock “PUTRISHUH” and “AUBRYANNA” for asking about feeding infants marshmallow fluff and sharing photos of their son’s unsightly infected injuries.

“But hey, let’s wait a week before going to a hospital just in case it turns necrotic,” she wrote.

The post has 41,000 upvotes and 809 comments on Reddit, because, boy, we can relate.

“Oh god so many injury/rash pictures,” Methebarbarian commented. “Also the ones where they warn against the irritation cause by x brand diaper followed by fighting about diaper brands cause no one seems to realize that each kid’s skin is different. Then some arguing over sleep training.”

BeautifulRelief added, “Don’t forget treating formula like some kind of soul stealing poison.”

Others shared their tales of groups banning photos of car seats, due to the conflict they’d created, and there was a lot of head-shaking over the anti-vaccine debates.

But we also want to play devil’s advocate here. As much as we feel the original mom’s pain, we really hope she kept this rant out of sight of the other members in the group. All types of people can become parents, and all types of people deserve to have a supportive community. And absolutely none of us is an expert on parenting — or even on our own babies — from day one.

Of course, parents should seek medical advice for their children’s injuries and illnesses, but who among us hasn’t needed a few words of wisdom or empathy during a midnight feeding or a long afternoon alone with a kid? How about we let them speak their peace … and then rant away with our friends or anonymous strangers in a different space?

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