The most grownup parts of us understand that becoming an adult means doing some stuff we don’t really want to do. Like flossing. Or buying leafy greens at the grocery store. Or going to bed at a reasonable hour instead of pulling an all-nighter binging Netflix’s latest release. Many of us don’t have a vocabulary for these facts of life; we just know to do them (or at least, we know we should be doing them). But according to Amanda E. White, LPC, owner of Therapy for Women, all we’re really doing when we establish these mental guidelines is setting boundaries with ourselves.