How to Set the Table Right, Once and For All
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In 2023, a standard table setting, the ones today that weirdly try and replicate those in the Gilded Age with the heavy use of sterling silver and dusty china, are beautiful to look at but dull to dine over (unless the silver is, say, forged in a flora shape by Claude Lalanne). Classicists may come at me with pitchforks, but like fashion storefronts and restaurant experiences of today, people are starving for experiences that encompass the jarring, odd, and Instagrammable alongside standard codes of beauty. Want your guests to gasp with excitement when they first see the tablescape you've set out for the holiday season? Follow along.
Guests want to see your personality... and share it on social media.
Nowadays, a dinner invitation is sort of a status symbol; a signal to those who weren't invited that you, in fact, were and your name inscribed in calligraphy on a card before your seat confirms it. Hosts have this in mind and know that the table they set will be inevitably photographed and shared online. You're not a bore, and it's your job as a host to make sure that your table setting doesn't say that you are.
""There's no better way to infuse personality into a table than mixing it up with multiple colors and types of glassware; I love mixing and matching pinks and purples and greens, and also love using different old glassware types I've collected over the years, such as carnival and depression glass," Layton Campbell, of Charlotte-based JLayton interiors tells Town & Country. "I am also a huge fan of napkin rings and have a collection of more types of rings than you can imagine. Whether it's silver napkin rings, glass, or ceramic, or whatever the material or size is, they are both a throwback to formal dining, but also a fun and noticeable addition to any tablescape."
But, it isn't just about social media. Seldom do guests want to dine in a setting that is too stale or stuffy. Throw in a salt and pepper shaker you picked up during your travels in Paris, or use that gorgeous bowl you found at a flea market in Mumbai. Sentiment can be sweet and a good pivot for (in emergencies) if your conversations run dry. Your guests are dining with you. Make it apparent.
Kitsch can be cool, so long as it's placed with style.
Remember that interview with T Magazine when Lee Radziwell said she'd rather be sat next to a snob than a bore because at least the snob has something to say? Think of how you dress your dining table in the same way. If you're not someone fond of stuffy evenings, don't try to cosplay for the holidays.
Instead, use your dining set as a playground with a point of view. More is more: use the Haas serving spoons with the squiggly handles, or monster ring holders from L'objet. Or, place your turtle-shaped table accessory by Maitland-Smith to add to the overall theme, whatever it may be. If you have the aforementioned surrealist set of flatware by Claude Lalanne, break them out. The point is: that guests will gawk in adoration with a fun table, and hopefully follow suit in the conversations that are being had around it. And, even if they point their nose up afterward and tell others how "kitsch" the table setting was, at least they'll still be talking about it.
Themed events go down in history. Remember the Rothschild Ball?
On December 12, 1972, the gorgeous and glamorous made their way to Château de Ferrières just 26 km east of Paris for the Rothschild family's legendary Surrealist Ball. There, a Salvador Dali-inspired evening was underway, and guests of the night did their best to emulate the surrealist artist. Audrey Hepburn showed up in a red gown, neck clad with multiple strings of pearls, and head encased within a bird cage, while perfumer Helene Rochas interpreted it as having a gramophone ascend from atop her head.
The evening features plates covered in fur, food served on mannequin corpses, and taxidermy tortoises used as centerpieces. It's a fine example of the lasting impression a good themed party can make, and even photographer Nadia Lee Cohen (author of Women and photographer behind Kim Kardashian's Skim Campaigns) emulated the Rotschild's Surrealist Ball at her glitzy dinner held in Los Angeles last holiday season.
If Dali is too intense for you, needn't fret: dinner themes can be made up of anything you so choose. Christmas is enough of a theme, but why not shake it up a bit? The Gilded Age is long behind us, but if there are any social codes we can revive from that time it's certainly the way they partied. Industrialist C.K.G. Billings hosted a party for 36 of his fellow-horse loving friends ($1.3 million in today's currency) where guests enjoyed a multi-course dinner on horseback within Sherry's, a popular restaurant of that time. You don't have to be that absurd, but the point is that you shouldn't shy away from having a bit of campy fun.
Don't set a basic dining table, or forget about the basics.
While we encourage creativity and individuality when creating a tablescape, it's important to remember the standard protocol. You wouldn't create a beautiful coat without knowing sewing 101, would you?
"Knives and Cyrstal are set to the right of the plate and dessert cutlery, which is placed at the top of the plate, is set with handles pointing to the right," Hortense de Guibert, Christofle's etiquette expert tells T&C. "There should be flatware for every course and a presentation plate or charger to ensure that there is never an empty space between courses. Cutlery is used from outside in, in the same order as the dishes, with starter cutlery placed the furthest out."
These basics do not prohibit jazzing up a table, either. "French style is all about the mix—a Dior jacket with Levi's jeans, a Chanel bag with a basic T-shirt—and this extends to entertaining. Having an understanding of the 'rules' of etiquette allows one to break them: pick the traditions that work for you and your table, but also be bold enough to make your own." One mistake when setting a table? Forgetting why you're there. "Etiquette is one thing, but having a good time with loved ones is the real hallmark of a successful dinner party. It's more important than knowing which fork to use or where to place it is creating a table where everyone feels comfortable and is able to enjoy themselves."
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