What Is Self-Care? Steps You Can Take Right Now for Your Routine
When you hear the words “self-care,” people tend to have different trains of thought. Your idea of self-care may include face masks or glasses of wine or maybe a good old-fashioned TV binge. But what does self-care really mean for your health?
Turns out, self-care is a lot more than just giving yourself a break from the exhaustive activities of your day. It takes careful consideration to take into account what practices are actually benefiting you, your mental health, and your overall well being. So while self-care is free to be tailored differently for each individual person, it’s not entirely up to interpretation.
So what is self-care and what isn’t? And how can you start a self-care routine that will be advantageous for your long-term health? Worry not: we’ve consulted with several mental health experts to clarify all your preconceived notions of self-care and how to use your me-time in the best way that works for you.
What is self-care?
Self-care is taking necessary steps to ensure the well-being of oneself, tending to any emotional or physical health needs to the best of your ability, says Haley Perlus, Ph.D., sports and performance psychologist. “Practicing self-care can help ensure you’re at the top of your health and wellness game, which involves taking time to do things that will help you improve both your mental and physical health.” Practicing mental health can help manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase energy levels. Even smaller acts of self-care can have a significant impact on your overall well-being, says Perlus.
Self-care is the process of ensuring that people have everything they need to maintain their health and thrive, says Christopher Palmer, M.D., director of the Department of Postgraduate and Continuing Education at McLean Hospital and an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “It’s not about being ‘selfish.’ Instead, it’s about being responsible and taking care of yourself,” he adds.
Why is self-care important for your well-being?
When people fail to look out for their own health, their needs will often not be fully met. This can result in a decline in physical and/or mental health, explains Dr. Palmer. “People can begin to develop health conditions, such as excess weight, insulin resistance, burnout, or depression…People need to be proactive in obtaining what they need for self-care and letting others know what they need from them when appropriate.”
Self-care encourages you to focus on your physical and mental health needs, says Caroline Fenkel, D.S.W., L.C.S.W., chief clinical officer of Charlie Health. “Self-care is about being present with yourself, which can help prevent burnout, maintain balance, and keep you in tune with your needs.” She further explains that regularly engaging in self-care can ultimately help process stress and encourage routine, consistency, and healthy ways of coping with your emotions.
Practicing a self-care routine has been proven to help eliminate anxiety, reduce stress, improve concentration, minimize frustration, increase happiness, and improve energy, says Perlus. “All of these things help enhance your overall quality of life.”
What are some different types of self-care?
The list includes many things, such as a healthy diet, physical activity, an appropriate amount of sleep, close and loving relationships, taking an appropriate amount of “down time” to relax, and engaging in fulfilling and meaningful activities that can support a person’s sense of meaning and purpose in life.
There are many different types of self-care, including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self-care, explains Fenkel. “Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance between each of these “types” to best fit your individual needs and interests.”
Physical self-care
Physical self-care can involve activities like exercise, healthy eating habits, and getting enough sleep, says Fenkel.
Physical self-care includes how much sleep you’re getting, how much physical activity you’re doing, what kinds of food you’re eating, and how you care for your physical needs, says Perlus. “Questions you can ask yourself to assess your physical health include: Am I getting adequate sleep? Is my diet fueling my body well? Am I getting enough exercise?”
Mental self-care
Mental health includes our psychological and emotional well-being, says Perlus. It can affect how we feel, think, and behave. “Mental health is crucial in every stage of life, from childhood through adulthood.”
Mental self-care can involve activities like meditation and mindfulness, says Fenkel.
Emotional self-care
It’s essential to develop healthy coping skills to help deal with emotions like anger, sadness, and anxiety, says Perlus. “Emotional self-care is being aware of feelings and taking the necessary steps to care for these emotions.”
Emotional self-care might consist of putting aside time for hobbies or connecting with friends and family, says Fenkel.
Social self-care
We all need social connectivity to thrive in life. Although it can be hard to make time for family and friends with busy schedules, close connections are essential for our well-being, says Perlus. “Here are some fun ideas to try, and if these activities below don’t resonate with you, try something that would.”
Watch a fun movie with friends
Call a parent
Have dinner with your special someone
Schedule a family game night
Spiritual self-care
Nurturing your spirit doesn’t necessarily have to involve religion, though, for some, it does, says Perlus. “It can be anything that helps with developing a more profound sense of meaning.” Examples include:
Meditation
Yoga
Going to a place of worship
Being in nature
Self-reflection
If spiritual self-care involves religion for you, spiritual self-care might look like engaging in prayer or spending time with your religious or spiritual community, says Fenkel.
What counts as self-care and what doesn’t?
Self-care includes taking care of yourself to ensure your needs are met or making reasonable requests of others. It is not about being self-centered, or always putting your needs above the needs of others, or expecting others to do everything you want them to do, explains Dr. Palmer. “It’s a balancing act—ensuring that you have enough for yourself while also looking out for the people in your life and helping them get what they need. Sometimes, this requires compromise or even sacrifice.”
“For example,” says Dr. Palmer, “many parents put the needs of their children above their own.” But when people begin to notice signs of mental or physical health problems, they may need to prioritize their own needs, at least for a while, he explains.
Optimizing your own health allows you to remain vibrant and productive, which allows you to contribute to society and serve others, Dr. Palmer adds. “If you allow yourself to burn out, you likely won’t be the best parent, or spouse, or worker, or member of society that you could be.”
Self-care really can vary from person to person but ideally, self-care is anything that promotes overall health, connection, and wellness, says Fenkel. “On the flip side, things that contribute to anxiety or stress, encourage toxicity in relationships, or even just drain our energy are the opposite of self-care.” Along with this, Perlus notes that “self-care is not using substances such as alcohol or pills to numb feelings or indulging in excessive spending for a momentary rush.”
How can you start a self-care routine?
The first step is to think about your current health, says Dr. Palmer. “Are there areas of vulnerability? Have you been diagnosed with any health problems related to lifestyle, such as prediabetes, diabetes, or high blood pressure? Are you struggling with burnout, depression, or anxiety? If so, starting a self-care routine might help you address these issues.” Keep in mind that a self-care routine might not be a quick fix to a serious health concern, so always consult with your doctor about treatment plans concerning medical conditions.
Think comprehensively about the things that you might need, but aren’t getting, such as a healthier diet, or starting an exercise routine, or getting enough sleep, or cutting back on your use of alcohol, or spending more quality time with friends and family,” says Dr. Palmer. “Pick one thing and come up with some small habits that will help you work toward correcting these deficits in your self-care routine.” He notes that making the goals small and achievable will help you make progress.
According to Perlus, you can follow the steps below to adopt a sustainable self-care practice.
1. Find what makes you feel centered. Make a list of things that bring you enjoyment, big or small. This could include your family, walking, a particular scent, music, receiving back rubs, etc.
2. Decide how to incorporate those things into your daily life.
3. Set goals to incorporate self-care behaviors in everyday life. After deciding what self-care practices you want to incorporate into your life, make goals and choose how often you'll practice this. Make sure your goals are realistic. For example, if you're trying to work out more, start with an easy routine/schedule. Then, when you successfully stick to that routine for a couple of weeks, set a more challenging goal.
4. Find support. Surround yourself with people who are also practicing self-care activities; this will help encourage you to keep going.
5. Adjust your approach as you go. It's okay to have off days and experience bumps in the road. Our needs change over time, and we must adapt to this.
How can I ask for help with self-care?
Going to therapy is also a form of self-care, says Fenkel. “If you feel you need an extra level of support, don't be afraid to ask for help.” Sometimes, even once-a-week therapy isn’t enough for people really struggling with their mental health, she adds. So, keep in mind when you start your own self-care journey, you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re struggling to find a self-care routine that works for you, talk to your doctor about regimens that may work for you.
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