Selena Gomez Says Fame Made Her Feel Isolated and Seemed “Pointless”

Selena Gomez wants to spread awareness about lupus and the kidney transplant she underwent over the summer.

This week, the superstar singer and actress sat down with Francia Raisa, her best friend and kidney donor, for an interview with Today. And in a new extended clip of the interview, Gomez opens up about the way in which her health scare, which involved an emergency second surgery after complications, made her view her own fame.

In the interview, Gomez opens up about not choosing to seek help early enough.

“I don’t think I made the right decisions because I didn’t accept it. It was extremely selfish and at the same time really, really just unnecessary,” she said. “I’m not really proud of that.”

She moved on to reveal she’s her toughest critic. “That would be easier if I just accepted it, but I am definitely the hardest person on myself, for sure,” she added.

And while Gomez explained that she took time off last year to battle her depression and panic attacks, a result of her lupus, Guthrie pointed out that to the public, her life may still have seemed near perfect.

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“I’m almost kind of honest with where I am, as much as I want to be. I’m willing to share what I want to share, but at the end of the day I have the exact same pressure of everyday stuff but I never viewed myself as that, I think that’s when it gets dangerous. I never viewed myself as anything other than who I am,” she said.

“I’m very aware I have a platform. I’ve always tried my hardest to use that for positive and in a way that platform has saved me from myself a lot. I wouldn’t want anybody to experience what I’ve experienced,” Gomez said, moving on to explain how difficult it is to be a young woman today, particularly on social media.

She then addressed her fame, clarifying that she never got caught up in the business. In fact, her platform didn’t make her feel good, she explained.

“I don’t think I ever accepted the position I had,” she said. “it was me almost feeling guilty about fame ‘cause people could see anyone in my position and say, ‘wow, they’ve got it all figured out. They’ve got everything. They get to live this cool life.’”

The truth? “You’re isolated. You’re being looked at. You’re being judged,” she said. “I’m always trying to be nice be nice. I want to be great. That’s genuinely who I am, deep down. But it just seemed pointless.”

Watch the Today interview above.