"If You Do This, You Don’t Need To Wipe:" 13 Gross "Bodily Function" Tips That Every Person On The Planet Should Know
When it comes to advice, sometimes the "grossest" tips can be the most beneficial. So when Reddit user u/MarbleMimic asked, "What disgusting advice ended up being actually helpful?" many people had their own opinions on the matter. Here's what they had to say below.
1."Visually check your bowel movements after you have them for any changes."
"When my dad got bladder cancer, I learned a lot of information about what subtly different shades of urine mean, so I was obsessed with analyzing mine for a while. (He's fine now — ten years in remission!)"
"Gas, too. I know a woman who realized she had bowel cancer because her gas changed smell drastically."
2."Someone told me at summer camp that his brother got food poisoning one time and was throwing up and having diarrhea at the same time. He mentioned he should have sat on the toilet and puked in the trash can. Fast-forward 30 years, and I ate gas station cole slaw, and this tip saved my bathroom decor."
3."If you see someone have a motorcycle accident, and you are the first responder, do not remove their helmet. Plenty have had their neck injuries exacerbated by untrained people yanking on the helmet to pull it off. Let the paramedics arrive and let them handle it. Unless you are trained in first aid, you are more likely to hurt them."
"In general, don't move somebody who is on the ground. Moving somebody who has unknown injuries could result in paralysis and worse. It's one of the things they pound into your head during first aid training."
4."Always close the toilet seat lid before you flush."
5."Always close your mouth when doing a diaper change on a baby."
"I remember when I had comeback from a training flight (Air Force) when my son was about four or five months old. I had just started to open the door and heard my wife scream. She stormed out of our son's bedroom and faced me, and I saw a splash of a grayish-green liquid dripping from her cheek and collarbone.
She practically blew steam out of her ears and yelled, 'YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR SON NOW!' I turned to go into his room when I observed a line of diarrhea dripping from almost the top of the door and in a six-foot runner down on the floor from the door to his changing station."
6."Use your own spit to get blood stains fully out. The enzymes from your own saliva will break down your own blood."
"It works! My husband thought I was nuts for telling him to spit on a bloodstain on his shirt. He skeptically tried it and was like, 'Holy shit, that worked!' I was dying laughing at his reaction to me saying, 'Spit on it. Yes. Just spit on it! Try it!' Even more hilarious, I had no idea if it would actually work; I’d only read about it. But it did work, and really well. It just sounded wild!"
7."This shouldn't be disgusting, but many people aren't comfortable with it: Installing a bidet is a game changer."
"Weird how they aren’t comfortable for what is essentially a mini-shower for your butthole, but they are comfortable wiping fecal matter off their butthole with just paper and their hand."
8."One time at a bus stop, an old man told me that if I get hair in my mouth while eating out a woman, I can get it out of the mouth by licking the inside of her thigh. The advice was completely unsolicited, and I had no idea who this man was and haven't seen him since, but it does work."
9."If you frequently get skid marks in your underwear, it's probably less to do with your butt-wiping abilities and more to do with your diet of junk food. That stuff glides out of you like greased lightning."
"If you do healthy shits (as in, one piece that comes out easily and makes you feel so good after it), you don’t even need to wipe. I mean, you should, but you’ll probably find it’s clean."
10."Sucking snot out of baby’s nose makes things better for all involved. Baby sleeps better, and mom sleeps better. The little tube contraptions to do it seemed gross as hell at first, but you get used to it, and the results are worth it."
"Before I remembered the little suction tube existed, I had the visual of someone putting their mouth over a baby's nostrils and slurping snot out of their nose.
I fucking gagged."
11."If you have to throw up but need to get to the toilet in time, start to hum loudly. You can't throw up while you're humming. You have to hurry, though. It saves only a few seconds."
"Adding to this, another sign to get to the toilet quickly is if you start producing more saliva."
12."Not 'disgusting' per se, but toilet-related. Get a Squatty Potty or toilet stool, and correct your 'pooping posture.' It literally has made a world of difference to me. It's so much easier and more comfortable."
13.And finally, "I remember watching Girl Code on MTV years and years ago, and they said to flush your poop as it comes out if you don’t want it to stink in a public restroom. It works."
Have any "disgusting" advice you believe others can benefit from? Tell us in the comments below
