The Seemingly Insignificant Moments 10 Women Realized Their Relationships Were Doomed
There’s always that one moment when you know it’s all over. If you’ve ever been in a relationship that has since reached its natural (and/or naturally devastating) conclusion, you likely know what I’m talking about—that stray second when, in a flash, you know with 100-percent certainty that this romance is doomed. Maybe it’s an offhand comment, a sneaky red flag too glaring to gloss over, or a peculiar behavior that gives you the ultimate ick. But when it happens, there’s no going back: it’s the beginning of the end. The relationship may not meet its demise immediately, of course (let’s hope it takes you weeks or months to pull the plug and not years), but it will end.
For me, there was that time I finally beat my ex at Scrabble (after he had beaten me hundreds of times) and he sulked for hours. Or when, at a six-course dinner on a London vacation, another ex said he “mourns his singledom” so casually it took my breath away. In the case of a friend of mine, there was the time—the 12th time in a row, to be specific—her ex-fiancé quickly claimed the booth seat for himself, leaving her with no choice but to sit in the less comfortable table chair. (You must share booth rights, that’s the law!)
These tiny but mighty relationship tremors range from funny to brutal, but they always reveal the inevitable truth: You and your boo will soon say sayonara. So we asked people who’ve felt this sudden whiplash of fate to share their own experiences of the outwardly trivial yet actually paradigm-shifting moments that made them realize they were headed for Splitsville.
“While I was in the other room, I saw him push my dog away with his foot. Did you just kick my dog?! I’m sorry, this isn’t going to work.” —Angela, 35
“He never updated my name in his phone. Ten years together, seven years married and I stayed first name, last name, with my maiden name used. I always thought he should at least change it to our last name after we got married. Never happened.” —Caroline, 34
“We traveled to Europe for a month together, and he told me that once we got back we should take a break from hanging out because ‘we have spent so much time together.’ We still had two weeks left of our trip.” —Teresa, 35
“We passed each other in the hallway of his home and instead of allowing a light brushing of our forearms, he leaned away to avoid any physical contact.” —Courtney, 35
“I was daydreaming after finishing an episode of White Lotus and innocently asked my boyfriend of four years ‘Wouldn’t it be fun if we went to southern Italy and rented Vespas?’ I could already picture myself wearing a scarf in my hair, the two of us spending all day in the sun gorging ourselves on pizza, pasta, and fancy coffees. Instead of the response I imagined, he gave me a somewhat bored look and said blankly. ‘No, I don’t think that sounds fun at all.’ And I knew with 100 percent certainty that he was telling the truth.” —Kate, 33
“During a camping trip, my ex once stepped away from a group of us playing cribbage. Instead of making everyone else wait for him to come back, I played his hand for him. He returned several minutes later, saw what I had done, and quit. I found him sitting in a tent pouting—where he stayed for hours.” —Teresa, 35
“I tried to lighten the mood by playing ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light’ by Meatloaf and he didn’t so much as crack a smile. Instead, he told me he ‘doesn’t like music.’” —Kelly, 35
“My boyfriend of three years went to Turkey after graduation. I expected limited contact while he was gone, but when he came back a month later, he was terrible at returning text messages, calling, or making plans, which had not been a problem before he left. He told me that because it was hard to contact me while he was away, he had forgotten he had a girlfriend.” —Holly, 37
“I love going to the beach and being on the water as much as possible. He refused to wear sunscreen because he said it had toxic ingredients, but also wouldn't wear long clothing or stay out of the sun. Once he (inevitably) got burned, he refused to spend time outside. Never would have worked.” —Rachel, 34
“He told me we were good together because we hated the same things. Not my ideal!” —Mary, 37
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